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Originally Posted by Meh
meh
What are you saying, Meh?


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

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Meh,

You have great people helping you here. Stay the course - they know the script your WW is following better than she does.

I would say she is blustering, trying desparately to win the favor of anyone to help divert you from finding out the truth. The saying a good offense is the best defense comes to mind.

I can really sympathize with your situation as can many on here. You know what she is trying to do - paint you as the crazy guy. Expose far and wide before she can get to everyone.

I did insist that my W take a polygraph. I got tired real quick of the lying and finally said let's cut to the chase - take a Poly or I'm going Plan D ASAP. She took it and I found out a few things, but it was a turning point. Insist on that Poly.

I would also be wary that she may try to keep your DS at her mom's and try to stop you from seeing him. You need very much to start working a plan for many reasons, including preventing this if you can. Working on a plan will divert your mind and prepare you.

Your W reminds me a lot of mine. She will try to puff up and bluster and scare you away from questioning her. But really inside she is scared to death. Her MO seems to be a big bark to scare others away. My W has tried that too, but you know what worked best - being calm and assertive and not engaging in heated arguments. Refusing to argue and literally saying "I am fighting for my marriage" and "want a cookie" when I wanted to blast her verbally did wonders for her and me.

You can do this. Stay the course.


Me: BH 50
W: 43
DD 12
DD 10
EA Exposed / D Day: 4-30-2010
W strongly disputes / denies EA - thats the problem
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A person who is telling the truth should be glad to have the opportunity to take a polygraph in order to clear her name. A person who has much to hide would run from it. And a dishonest WW who has much to hide will feign outrage over being asked in order to manipulate her BS into feeling guilty for asking. Don't fall for it, Meh!


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by Meh
I am completely broke - crying harder than I ever have before.

She has left - packed up clothes and gone to her moms.

I am so sorry, friend. Shoot me an email any time you think it will help.

This is not over, Meh. Not by any means. Waywards go CRAZY when an affair is exposed. This means you are striking close to the target. It is as if an alien is infesting her brain, you are hitting it with exactly the right frequency to kill it, and the alien has gone ape throwing a fit and going ballistic because it knows you can hurt it.

There's a virus in there that can be cured, but it is going to throw a fit and try to HURT YOU to stop you from taking the steps necessary to kill it. And it's going to attempt to hurt you emotionally.

You shot out of the gate like lightning doing all of the right things. Don't give up now. Read up on the plans here and the people who have been through this. You have a very VERY good chance to recover things based on what you did today, compared to a lot of people I've seen go through here taking FOREVER to get up and do something about the problem (while the affair grows stronger).

Quote
Her mom said whether she takes the polygraph, fails or not - she is leaving me. Thats what she told her mom.

Meh, waywards say all kinds of insane bull. It is almost like they are reading from a script. Every one of them says pretty much the exact same things "Oh, no; you've gone and done it, now! I was going to reconcile with you, but now you've ruined your last chance!" {AS IF YOU ARE THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE BEGGING FOR ANOTHER CHANCE AT THIS POINT. SHE SHOULD BE BEGGING YOU.}

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Everyone is saying I have lost it. She is mad I contacted her friends. They are all saying I am acting crazy.

They'll say anything to support her. They are not friends of your marriage; they'll encourage her to go right on destroying your marriage and children. Tragically there are millions of people like this.

Plan A, Meh. Calm down, control your emotions, and follow the plan here. Do some reading.

You know you've struck a nerve. The affair, the virus inside her, is running strong. All of this stuff means you are WINNING, Meh, if you can keep a handle on things and stay the course.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 17 years, who is a beautiful angel.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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What's happening, Meh? I'm worried about you and hoping to hear from you.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 17 years, who is a beautiful angel.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Poor guy... his wife works with the jerk. Not good.

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