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She just called my yhouse begging me not to tell her husband . what a sick sick twisted thing I am living. Here's part of your problem. Read up on exposure. Exposure is the best way to kill an affair. If your H's affair had been exposed a long time ago, it almost certainly would have ended. Her H needs to know and you need to tell him. Yes, it's sick and twisted, but it isn't particularly unusual. There are a lot of people (far too many) who have been where you are right now.
Me: BS/FWW: 48
BS/WH: 50
DS: 30, 27, 25
DD: 28
OC: 10
BH and I are raising my OC together.
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My Husband is on his way home and I am leaving. I hate to say this but I am going to the OM house till I know what to do with myself. he is having his driver come get me cause I cant even drive. I will use his computer when I get there. Please dont hate me I am dying adn never saw this comong .
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My Husband is on his way home and I am leaving. I hate to say this but I am going to the OM house till I know what to do with myself. he is having his driver come get me cause I cant even drive. I will use his computer when I get there. Please dont hate me I am dying adn never saw this comong . Please don't do this. This isn't the answer. Two wrongs NEVER make a right. You are only getting yourself into this mess deeper. Do you have any family nearby you could call?
Me: BS/FWW: 48
BS/WH: 50
DS: 30, 27, 25
DD: 28
OC: 10
BH and I are raising my OC together.
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oh and I am calling the ow husband when i get in the car. My day is here for the PAIN they both put me in!
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She just called my yhouse begging me not to tell her husband . I hope she left that message on a machine rather than speaking to you. Do not ever communicate with this woman again. Of course you will be telling her husband everything. Because he deserves to know.
FBW in recovery
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You tell him everything and together let her husband know. Going forward you both have to affair proof the marriage, no half measures, no I won't tell you because !!! neither of you are in high school and both of you had affair time to sort your marriage out and fix it properly.
Do not try take the moral high ground you are both in affairs, the carnage and damage to everyone is about to fall. Both of you have to change NOW
Last edited by Xau; 03/18/11 03:28 PM.
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I have NO FAMILY here at all. NO ONE. My kids are both gone with my parents. I am really alone. COMPLETELY.:( My friends are all working 2 hours away! I know its wrong WHAT else can I DO>
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Driver is here in 10 minutes i must get off i will use om computer at his house. please dont hate me for this. i need you guys so much
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I hate to say this but I am going to the OM house till I know what to do with myself. Please rethink this. For the sake of your children. They need one stand up parent right now. This is not the right thing to do, and you know it. Sleazing around with OM is not what you're made of. You already decided that you're better than that.
FBW in recovery
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I have NO FAMILY here at all. NO ONE. My kids are both gone with my parents. I am really alone. COMPLETELY.:( My friends are all working 2 hours away! I know its wrong WHAT else can I DO> There are plenty of other things you can do. What you don't want to do is make matters even worse. Going off to the OM's house will most definitely do that. You aren't thinking straight right now and so you are making a lot of rash decisions that you are going to regret later on. You need to stop, take a deep breath, and calm down. You are in no position to make any life altering decisions right now.
Me: BS/FWW: 48
BS/WH: 50
DS: 30, 27, 25
DD: 28
OC: 10
BH and I are raising my OC together.
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Heather, I am so sorry. I can't imagine going through this in this way.
You are to be commended for trying to do what is right. I hope you will stay with us and continue to listen to the good advice here. You will need it, no matter what you decide.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Driver is here in 10 minutes i must get off i will use om computer at his house. please dont hate me for this. i need you guys so much No one is going to hate you. We are simply trying to help you. You need to stop reacting to the situation and listen.
Me: BS/FWW: 48
BS/WH: 50
DS: 30, 27, 25
DD: 28
OC: 10
BH and I are raising my OC together.
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I have NO FAMILY here at all. NO ONE. My kids are both gone with my parents. I am really alone. COMPLETELY.:( My friends are all working 2 hours away! I know its wrong WHAT else can I DO> If you can't stay with your husband tonight and have no family or friends around, go to a hotel. Do not let OM know what hotel you're going to. Send the driver away. Take your car. Call a taxi. Don't do the wrong thing here. Think of your children. I am so sorry for what your scummy H and former BF did to you. But being with OM is not the answer.
FBW in recovery
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You are totally correct in telling the OW's husband. She is a real piece of work. Your husband is a self-centered narcessistic jerk. I hope the OW's husband confronts your husband. Get a good attorney.
Nevertheless, I worry about you. I think you need to spend time with your children and some family friends. You are too messed up to be thinking logically right now about remaining with the OM. This will end badly for you and your children. I wish you luck.
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You can talk to us ... all night long. 
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Can you go to be with your parents and kids?
This is where you belong.
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Something doesn't smell right!!!!
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Can you go to be with your parents and kids?
This is where you belong. Yes. You need people who really do care about you, and about your children.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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FBW in recovery
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Something doesn't smell right!!!! my thoughts exactly
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