Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 23 of 68 1 2 21 22 23 24 25 67 68
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 717
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 717
This morning we were hugging on the couch, having coffee. I was delaying going off to work for an hour. And I said.
"I wish you could see yourself through my eyes."
She held onto the hug a little longer.

Its very true. I don't think she sees herself like I see her.


Me: 43
ExWW: 44
Married 16yrs. 4 children

EA (ExWW): May-Nov 2009 + Aug-Dec 2010
D-DAY JAN 30, 2011
Exposure: FEB 7, 2011
Contact Again: Apr 25, 2011
Divorce Final Sept 2012

"I want to be married and stay married. Now I uunderstand the kind of marriage I want and we all deserve. But I also know it takes two to want to Build that Marriage."
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653
Hey, sounds like things are on the up and up, glad to hear it.

Have you ever read markos's thread?

http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2388046&page=14

It's nearly 100 pages long like Andy's was, but Markos and wife struggled with one hellacious conversation issue. A lot of it sounds like the stuff me and my wife did/do. I'm only on page 14 (where there's an interesting dialogue about a vacuum cleaner that sounded a lot like me), but there is a lot there by vets offering suggestions that could apply to just about anyone.



Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2

Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,719
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,719
NW - are you saying I'm long winded?....LOL..?


BS(me)- 45
WW - 41
D-day 1 - (PA) 01/2011
DS - 6
Exposure: early 02/2011
Started Plan B - 7/11
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 851
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 851
Originally Posted by stretch123
This morning we were hugging on the couch, having coffee. I was delaying going off to work for an hour. And I said.
"I wish you could see yourself through my eyes."
She held onto the hug a little longer.

Its very true. I don't think she sees herself like I see her.


stretch, I haven't posted to you before but I've been following your thread. I just had to say that if my H would hold me in his arms, and say that to me, I would absolutely melt. I hope the marriage retreat goes well this weekend - stay strong!


FWW

"Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough." ~ Earl Wilson
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653
Originally Posted by AndyM
NW - are you saying I'm long winded?....LOL..?

LOL--hardly! You've seen some of my posts--they fill the page sometimes. You just have a lot of "stuff" going on and have gotten a lot of feedback on your thread(s) which is a good thing!



Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,215
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,215
North is probably the reason the server went down a couple weeks back:)


FBH,Dad
No half measures, in anything.
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653
Originally Posted by Reynolds531
North is probably the reason the server went down a couple weeks back:)

Ha Ha Haaaaaa...and here I was thinking Canadians didn't have a sense of humor smile


Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,215
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,215
Got to have a sense of humour, its almost April and it was minus 12 celcius this morning. Come on spring!

Last edited by Reynolds531; 03/27/11 01:13 PM.

FBH,Dad
No half measures, in anything.
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653
Ugh, bet you're tired of that. Winter's been over for us for about a month now. Supposed to be 75 tomorrow (around 20-something Celsius I think). It was hot today, I had my shorts and flip-flops on, and probably looked a bit like a slob but that's ok smile

Funny how y'all add that "u" in your words-- favour, humour, etc.

Or maybe it's funny how we don't add it.

And so ends my random thought of the day smile


Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2

Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 251
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 251
Originally Posted by Reynolds531
Got to have a sense of humour, its almost April and it was minus 12 celcius this morning. Come on spring!

Reynolds, you have to translate from Canadian if you expect us to follow along. I know what you meant, but I think its only because I worked for a Canadian bank for many years.


BS (me) 49
WW 49
married 6 years
dday1 8/23/10 NC 9/3/10
NC broken 12/10
dday2 2/6/11
NC2 3/5/11
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,215
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,215
Yeah funny guys eh? I was translating for you eh? Quit making fun hosers or we'll shut off the maple syrup pipeline. Your IHOPs will shut down in two days tops:)


FBH,Dad
No half measures, in anything.
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653
Great...now I've got to go see what a hoser is. smile

In the meantime, hope things are going good up your way, Reynolds.


Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2

Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,164
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,164
Originally Posted by Reynolds531
Yeah funny guys eh? I was translating for you eh? Quit making fun hosers or we'll shut off the maple syrup pipeline. Your IHOPs will shut down in two days tops:)

No way eh! IHOP's use maple flavored corn syrup. No impact there.

My wife is Canadian (Nova Scotia). I've learned to tell the difference between 'real' maple syrup and the fake kind. Y'all's candy is way better. Coffee crisp FTW!


Me - 44
DW - 39
Married 16 years
DS10
DS6
DD4
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,215
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,215
Sorry Stretch for the TJ. You're quiet hope you are doing OK.

How about REAL beer? OK so its like forty bucks here for 24 bottles, which I know you guys would overthrow the gov't if they tried there...


FBH,Dad
No half measures, in anything.
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653
Originally Posted by Reynolds531
Sorry Stretch for the TJ. You're quiet hope you are doing OK.

How about REAL beer? OK so its like forty bucks here for 24 bottles, which I know you guys would overthrow the gov't if they tried there...

...yeah, wouldn't put it past us.


Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 717
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 717
Gee whiz guys. I go away on a marriage retreat for a couple of days and there is a total thread jack going on while you talk about the weather, beer and pancakes up in Canada.


Me: 43
ExWW: 44
Married 16yrs. 4 children

EA (ExWW): May-Nov 2009 + Aug-Dec 2010
D-DAY JAN 30, 2011
Exposure: FEB 7, 2011
Contact Again: Apr 25, 2011
Divorce Final Sept 2012

"I want to be married and stay married. Now I uunderstand the kind of marriage I want and we all deserve. But I also know it takes two to want to Build that Marriage."
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 717
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 717
Originally Posted by wulffpack_girl
Originally Posted by stretch123
This morning we were hugging on the couch, having coffee. I was delaying going off to work for an hour. And I said.
"I wish you could see yourself through my eyes."
She held onto the hug a little longer.

Its very true. I don't think she sees herself like I see her.


stretch, I haven't posted to you before but I've been following your thread. I just had to say that if my H would hold me in his arms, and say that to me, I would absolutely melt. I hope the marriage retreat goes well this weekend - stay strong!

Oh my. I am humbled. Thank you.

Has your BH spent any time with MB? We would welcome him here. If you let him know there are a lot of BH's here that can help him with his pain. (He is in a lot of pain wulffpack girl... I am sure you know that)

Last edited by stretch123; 03/28/11 12:45 PM.

Me: 43
ExWW: 44
Married 16yrs. 4 children

EA (ExWW): May-Nov 2009 + Aug-Dec 2010
D-DAY JAN 30, 2011
Exposure: FEB 7, 2011
Contact Again: Apr 25, 2011
Divorce Final Sept 2012

"I want to be married and stay married. Now I uunderstand the kind of marriage I want and we all deserve. But I also know it takes two to want to Build that Marriage."
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 717
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 717
FYI -
Marriage Retreat was phenomenal. I am going to tell you the name of it here and the moderators can pull it down. But its faith based, they talk about extramarital affairs well. They are pro-marriage, pro-recovery, pro-family, pro men and women. We were both simply overwhelmed and exhilerated. I heard plenty of MB principles within the material.

Familylife Weekend to Remember

Heard about it through our church. Amazing. Amazing !

We both scored it a 10! We both said, on our own evaluation sheets before comparing notes.... (From 1-10)our marriage was at a 3 on Friday and at a 7 on Sunday.

I got an apology for the affair on Saturday night.
I am energized and focused on being an outstanding husband and father and I have the tools. I know what that means.
Our priorities are: 1)God 2) Spouse 3) Children 4) Ourselves
So my needs come 4th. And her needs come 4th for her. Humans are so innately self-centerd. Got to remember that.

They weren't soft on extramarital affairs. A selfish escape from reality is what they are. They also said the pain and trust would take a lot of time.

The marriage after dark session Saturday afternoon was great. The couples homework after that session kept us in the hotel room for hours. We finally were hungry enough (for food) that we went to dinner at about 10PM.

Okay, so all is not perfect. I am still hurt. Still sad. Still seeking her commitment. I cried when all 1,000 people re-committed to their vows because we were one of the couples that could not. Its not time for us yet. So I cried, and cried.

But I believe we will get there soon.


Me: 43
ExWW: 44
Married 16yrs. 4 children

EA (ExWW): May-Nov 2009 + Aug-Dec 2010
D-DAY JAN 30, 2011
Exposure: FEB 7, 2011
Contact Again: Apr 25, 2011
Divorce Final Sept 2012

"I want to be married and stay married. Now I uunderstand the kind of marriage I want and we all deserve. But I also know it takes two to want to Build that Marriage."
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653
Originally Posted by stretch123
Gee whiz guys. I go away on a marriage retreat for a couple of days and there is a total thread jack going on while you talk about the weather, beer and pancakes up in Canada.

Really, stretch, did you expect anything less? We got bored. grin

Glad to hear the retreat was a positive experience for you guys. Keep up the good work, bet you'll get that committment before too much longer. And getting one that actually "means" something is so much better than just one to go along with the crowd.

Last edited by Northwood8900; 03/28/11 01:08 PM. Reason: I really cannot type today

Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2

Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,719
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,719
Stretch - I'm estatic for you and WW! Sounds like you're on a good path.

Reynolds & NW - In the US you can legally brew your own, great beer for a lot less cash (+/-$12 a case).


BS(me)- 45
WW - 41
D-day 1 - (PA) 01/2011
DS - 6
Exposure: early 02/2011
Started Plan B - 7/11
Page 23 of 68 1 2 21 22 23 24 25 67 68

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 1,352 guests, and 57 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Mike69, petercgeelan, Zorya, Reyna98, Nofoguy
71,829 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5