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Originally Posted By: Lady_Clueless

I would think that if a person knows she is dislexic or has some other learning disorder, she would take pains to make sure that anything she sent to the school or a teacher was correctly written.


I don't give the slightest damn about this particular exWW. She can go to mad Hades mad and I won't care.

I do have some concerns however, that there might be some MBer or MB lurkers who have a learning disorder that causes them some degree of shame or embarrassment.
It is for THOSE folks I express my thoughts and concerns that this might be something other than what it appears on the surface.

PSUBIKER's exWW is dumb as a bag of rocks.
Of that I am certain, based on her conscious decisions, time after time.

I do not want other innocent MBers to feel too ashamed to post for fear their learning difficulties might be exposed.

This has happened before when the issue of just how "fat and gross" the OW was.
Hillarity ensued with fat jokes and fat slurs.
I KNOW many betrayed wives were caught in the crosshairs of shame regarding their own fat body and feeling gross as described by fellow MBers.

I guess, I have become sensitive to the fact that we can have collateral damage when we insult the wayward(s) for characteristics unrelated to cheating.

Just be conscious that others reading along might have written something similar to PSUBIKER's exWW's note. If they do have a learning disorder, that does not make them dumb.





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With ya 100% on that Pep. hug

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I agree Ms. Pep. It's very easy to offend if someone doesn't know the whole background behind the story.

Ms. Psubiker IS as dumb as a bag of rocks. She could write in the King's English and I'd still think that. smile


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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Hey folks! Good news on the legal front! The judge made a decision on alimony. Ex WW's alimony petition has been DENIED!!!!

My case centered around proving cohabitation and we presented the following:
- exWW naked in bed with 2nd cousin
- exWW and second cousin signing a lease agreement for him to live on the maritial property. Keep in mind this was two weeks before ILYBNILWU and I was not on the lease even though I had an interest in the property
- ExWW and POSOM's testimony from a previous hearing where they both testified they were boyfriend and girlfriend as well as living together
- exWW's current lease listing POSOM as an occupant

ExWW told the court she never cohabitated in a romantic relationship with POSOM. The concluding paragraph of the opinion from the judge is pure gold:

"The court aslso concludes that husband has estabilished that wife and POSOM hold themselves out as a couple as the statute requires for the termination of an alimony obligation. In the November 2008 PFA hearing Wife testified that POSOM was her boyfriend and POSOM similarly testified wife was her girlfriend. At the ancilary hearing, wife explained that she was under extreme stress and likely could not have recalled the names of her own children at the PFA hearing due to her claims of husband's attorney's agressive nature. The court finds little creditbility in Wife's explanation, given the fact that according to the hearing transcript, the attorney's inquiry as to whether POSOM was Wife's boyfriend was only the second question he posed to Wife after asking whether " You and PSUBIKER are currently in a divorce situation, is that correct?" The court fails to see any agreesiveness in either of the first two questions posed to wife on cross examination and sincerely doubts that these questions caused wife to experience such extreme stress that she could not correctly recall whether POSOM was her boyfriend at the time. "

Nothing like trying to pin your hopes for alimony on fogbabbling and gaslighting a family court judge. What's scary is this type of gaslighting and fogbabble cost us about 30K in attorney fees between the two of us.


Me BH 35 WW 36
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I forgot to add - the Male Family Court Bias kicked in when the judge was deciding attorney fees - he only awarded me $645 out of about 8K that we asked for despite her obvious perjury. Plus, I get my tools back. If doesn't provide them, I get $100 / tool. She still has my air compressor, brand new Porter Cable hardwood floor nailer, brand new Bostich finish nailer, a DeWalt belt sander, and a Bosch jigsaw


Me BH 35 WW 36
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Quote:
What's scary is this type of gaslighting and fogbabble cost us about 30K in attorney fees between the two of us.


Even scarier how long you have had to endure this hell. Justice may move slow - but this is deriliction of carrying out the law as written and the intent.

POSOM lived off of your labor for how many years? Two at least - are you going to get any $$ back or is that water under the bridge?


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Originally Posted By: rwinger
Quote:
What's scary is this type of gaslighting and fogbabble cost us about 30K in attorney fees between the two of us.


Even scarier how long you have had to endure this hell. Justice may move slow - but this is deriliction of carrying out the law as written and the intent.

POSOM lived off of your labor for how many years? Two at least - are you going to get any $$ back or is that water under the bridge?


POSOM is the only one who benefited from the divorce! He's had free rent and board courtesy of me for 4 months and exWW for 30 months. He ain't going anywhere with the setup he has right now. He somehow was able to convince exWW that doing chores around the house constitutes him pulling his own weight.


Me BH 35 WW 36
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Glad that you won PSU.

Wonder if $100/tool will even cover them, specially the compressor.

Yeah the POSOM won something, but its amazing how cheap someone will sell thier soul for isn't it?

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Caught up your story...so happy you won. It was a no brainer for the judge. Some Wws are so fogged out behind comprehension.

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Good that alimony was denied and justice done.
Too bad you can't get more of the atty. fees back though.


Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09

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Can you get an extra 200 if the judge awarded you $100 per tool?

I figure that should cover TWO TOOLS: the crazy xww and posom f-buddy cousin!

Keep plugging away! I wish you well and she should be held in contempt, possibly doing jail time, if she doesn't pay up.

No more free ride for the kissin scuz cuz!!! Yay!


Change happens by listening and then starting a dialogue with the people who are doing something you don't believe is right. ~Jane Goodall
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I'm glad your wife lost in court. Again. May it be the last time you have to do this with her!!

tl

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Originally Posted By: PSUBIKER
"The court aslso concludes that husband has estabilished that wife and POSOM hold themselves out as a couple as the statute requires for the termination of an alimony obligation. In the November 2008 PFA hearing Wife testified that POSOM was her boyfriend and POSOM similarly testified wife was her girlfriend. At the ancilary hearing, wife explained that she was under extreme stress and likely could not have recalled the names of her own children at the PFA hearing due to her claims of husband's attorney's agressive nature. The court finds little creditbility in Wife's explanation, given the fact that according to the hearing transcript, the attorney's inquiry as to whether POSOM was Wife's boyfriend was only the second question he posed to Wife after asking whether " You and PSUBIKER are currently in a divorce situation, is that correct?" The court fails to see any agreesiveness in either of the first two questions posed to wife on cross examination and sincerely doubts that these questions caused wife to experience such extreme stress that she could not correctly recall whether POSOM was her boyfriend at the time. "


I love this Judge.

That's GREAT on the alimony. Bet that was a relief.

I hope this is it for you guys, but knowing your WW's history, I'd still keep your ears and eyes open. There's no telling what she may pull next as you well know.


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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psub,

This is great, but I don't think that mom bias kicked in. I say that because my ex asked for attorney feys as well and she only got $500 out of $77000 she spent.

It's probably not normal for a judge to grant such fees or he may be limited by law on how much he can reward.

Otherwise this is fantastic since it puts even more of a burden on OM to meet her needs as he continues to leech off of her. She will now push him to pull more of his weight.

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ExWW still has her custody petition that's outstanding from back in November. It hasn't been scheduled yet so I'm figuring at least the beginning of August before that is resolved.

I'm not too worried about it - we are in a 50/50 shared state for custody and that's what we've been doing for 2.5 years. Just a lot of mental gymnastics until then. The kids are getting really good grades in school, no major behavior issues, and they are healthy. Overall, nothing has changed regarding the children's circumstance. Plus, the judge had already denied her emergency custody petition back in November. She has a huge burden of proof to overcome to prove that a change in custody is in the best interest of the kids.

Reading between the lines of this judge's decision from the original custody hearing in Aug 09, he is very hesitant to make any changes to the custody arrangement especially when the parties agree to it in the first place. ExWW's whole arguement then was there was no change in circumstances since she was living in the school district on the days she has the kids.

Plus, exWW has ZERO credibility with this judge or the court at this point because of her sanctions for filing false DV claims, her multiple contempts, and her performance in the alimony hearing. All her evidence to change custody would have to come from third party experts.


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PSUB,

I would check the tools very thoroughly before accepting them. Why do they not have to pay rent on these items and why on earth did she get to keep them that long.

My frustration is that legal proceedings have taken such a long time. You have taken the abuse of OM, had to move out of your own property and pressured into a near suicide situation.

I believe that justice will not be done in this life. However, there is one thing that you need to do do: Forgive. These things will tie on your soul. Remember the circumstances, help those that you can from your experiences (that's us) and move forward to help your kids. Be the example that your wife never was.


But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams -Yeats
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Quote:


Ex WW's alimony petition has been DENIED!!!!




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VINDICATION AT LAST! AWESOME!

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HI all,

It's been a busy summer! Took the kids to Pittsburgh with me in June to go to Kennywood Park, went to the beach a few times, then, last month, did the mother of all trips, DISNEY WORLD!

Let's just say Disney World as a single parent with two kids is exhausting! My parents were there to help in the mornings, but most of the time, I was on my own. Anyways, we had a BLAST! Unfortunately, we had to cut our trip short by a day because of hurricane Irene. Good thing too. We moved our flight to Friday evening. While at the airport Friday evening waiting for the flight, I get a text from the airline saying our original flight for Saturday was cancelled.

As expected, things with exWW are starting to heat up again. ON Oct 4, we have the custody hearing. So, of course, the rhetoric from her is starting to increase. For instance, last Friday, at around 8:30 am, I got a text from her with a picture of the kid's teachers. This was the day we were heading home from Disney. Since our trip was cut short by a day, we had to squeeze things in before heading over to the airport. Needless to say, I did not show the kids the text.

After we landed, I met exWW to swap the kids. First question out of exWW's mouth was: "Did daddy show you the pictures of your teachers?" Not how was your trip, did you have fun, etc. Keep in mind, she sent the text at 830am, this was about 11pm the same day.

So, the next day, I get an email from exWW saying I denied her contact with the kids by failing to show them the text message. Ummm, Ok. You were going to see the kids that night anyways. Plus, we were literally running like chickens with their heads cut off because of the jam packed schedule at the parks. I say, BRING IT ON IN COURT!

A few days ago, she sends an email to the kids counselor asking the name for a mediator so we can mediate the custody agreement. I reply I would be happy to attend mediation with the express goal to modify to the current shared custody agreement to what we currently practice.(i.e week to week instead of the 5-2-2-5) I will not negotiate any custody arrangements that are not a shared 50/50 arrangement.

Of course, I get a 3 minute ranting on my voicemail about how I am a poor father, don't care about the kids, how it's all about me, etc, etc, etc. My response? I email her a custody agreement that outlines our current week to week and holiday schedule.

As for the custody, I am not very worried. We currently do the 50/50 shared arrangement, and standard in our state is 50/50. We've been doing it for three years. Plus, the judge ordered it after a hearing in Jan, 2010. That's important because the burden of proof is on exWW to show that not changing it will result in physical and emotional harm to the kids and the benefits will outweigh the drawbacks of the kids not living with me half the time.

To do this, she would need to have a full blown custody evaluation done - the court is not going to go by her word. The hearing is a month away and she hasn't hired one yet.

After a two year period, you can still change custody but the burden of proof is a little lower - she just has to show that the benefits of the move outweigh the drawbacks. Again, she would need a custody evaluator. Also after two years, compliance with orders is a huge factor. She has 4 contempt findings against her since the last order was entered.

The kids do well in school, the counselors say the kids are doing well outside of normal stuff you see with a divorce, etc. IT's clear this is about money for exWW.

If she wins, the child support I pay her would go from about 450 per month to about $1600 per month. Plus, she is currently getting about $2200 in SS disability benefits per month too. So, her income would be $3800 per month TAX FREE! To put this in perspective, I make a hair under 100K. After you take out all my deductions (medical insurance, 401K, Child Support, dependent care) her income is the same as my net income per month. Considering all this was filed at around the time her child support I paid her went from $750/mo to $450 per month, it is quite obvious what her real motivations are.


Me BH 35 WW 36
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Good to hear from you, and that you and kids are doing well. Hope you win, and win BIG!

tl

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