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Do you have a closet full of Garanimals for Grown-Ups, EE? stickout

Mrs. W


FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

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No, but I wear only two colors of pants, khaki or blue. My shirts match either color. Only solids, other than one Hawaiian shirt. I try to only get black or white socks.

I cope.

Last edited by Enlightened_Ex; 06/22/11 04:26 PM.
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I just got this mad rush of anger over me and no one to take it out on. I am going to rant.

My f'ing WH is such a piece of crap. The SOB not only cut off my four kids financially, but also threw our entire 15 years in the sewer. The f'ing scumbag. I am losing my love for him in Plan B. Why is my LB draining. I don't think I want him anymore. I am getting almost finished. I am really really mad at him.

I just want to kick his butt from DC to San Diego. What an f'ing low life. I haven't been this pizzed in months. The f'ing piece of crap.

I wish nothing but awful karma on the SOB at this moment.

10 minutes later ...
Okay now I am composed.

I hope he breaks into 1000 pieces and GOD can finally get him and bring him home a repentant, remorseful, and dedicated man.

GOD be with me. Please let me make it. QueeniesAdvernture is such a great thread to read. Dear GOD please help me save my marriage and my family.

Consistency and Patience!

My rant is over.

Tough~

Last edited by itistoughlove; 06/22/11 08:24 PM.
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((((tough))))

Thinking about you!


FWW

"Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough." ~ Earl Wilson
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Well its not a rant, but tough I just want to thank you for being real enough and coming here to vent about the absolute BS you are putting up with.

If there is any rant from me, its that there are not more people able to stick like you for the sake of the family ,children, and still know that there is somewhere to vent the real feelings that come from this crap.


Prayin for you guys

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Fighting infidelity is fighting Satan.
Go for the kill.
(kill the affair, not the humans)

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Please note, some humans may be scorched in the hellfire and brimstone reigned down to destroy the infidelity.

Safety not guaranteed!



"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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I'm OK with scorched.
Some scars are pretty good reminders of what not to do.

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Originally Posted by Pepperband
I'm OK with scorched.
Some scars are pretty good reminders of what not to do.

Ah... like NG's beloved line;



"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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All I can see is the outline of a marine and I thought of Robert Duvall and " I love the smell of Napalm in the morning"

Was I right?

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Originally Posted by ConstantProcess
All I can see is the outline of a marine and I thought of Robert Duvall and " I love the smell of Napalm in the morning"

Was I right?
No. Duvall's character was Army AirCav, not Marine Corps. smirk

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Well there IS a difference of course, and I assume the servicemen would want the distinction. Apologys to any I might have offended. There is a style they call those hats, and I was babysitting my DGD, and on my IPhone, and my son came with his dog....and all I could think of was marines, so I posted in haste.. naughty, me.

But I thought it was pretty good for just seeing the outline on the Iphone. Thanks for straighting me out though, I respect Robert Duvall, and he would probably want to kick my ar$$E if I misrepresented a serviceman that he played in one of his roles also. No excuses..

Wished I went in the service when I had a chance, just feels like my life would have been worth more directly serving my country, in physical conflict, like a man, warrior/poet, than how I decided to handle it. 1. Support the troops 2. Live by a strong moral code. 3. Protect the innocent, my family, friends, and try to turn around the post vietnam rep being a soldier had gotten, by standing up for men who are willing to fight for what is right.

Oh well maybe God will let me go out quick in a fiery burning car wreck while crashing into some drug dealer and his crew of punks. Well now..Napalm is like a gel made from gasoline right? Maybe I will get to sorta know what its like to smell it in the morning..

Since I have been a little kid war flicks have had a hypnotic affect on me, and I just about allways cry when I watch them. I often get the compliment of being mistaken for military IRL. I worked as a contractor for a guy in his home that worked at the pentagon who was an aide to the undersecratary to the navy, and he told me I would have done well also in the service.

Regrets are a waste though, maybe I can work for an ordinace plant again but this time as an engineer, security, training. IDK but its something I can get behind thats for sure.

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Oy, geez...I see this thread is being t/j'd into guy junk, and we can't have that.

[Linked Image from bookhills.com] There. Evened it out a little.

Back to the rants...


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

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Originally Posted by peachyisback
Literally they are like that. Like they've been rip van winkle the whole time after they finally come back to reality and SEE what had been going on during their mental absence.

+1 Love it. Out of mind experience.


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Originally Posted by ConstantProcess
All I can see is the outline of a marine and I thought of Robert Duvall and " I love the smell of Napalm in the morning"

Was I right?

Ding ding ding ding!


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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Originally Posted by maritalbliss
Oy, geez...I see this thread is being t/j'd into guy junk, and we can't have that.


There. Evened it out a little.

Back to the rants...
rotflmao

OK, Rant is that rumor has it Barbie was modeled after a German Hooker. I say rumor, but I can believe it even though I never researched the facts.

So what was Ken modeled after, G.I. Joe? I say that its more sexist discrimination against guys that don't fit the model of Ken anymore,(or ever), and don't get to spend hard earned money on plastic surgery to, "Feel good about themselves"...

Why can't men just be able to judge thier value in relationships just by how they look, instead of who they are inside?

When I made the comment to now late WW that I had lost some of my respect for Demi Moore because she was dating her boy toy Ashton Kusher, she was like, "good for her". Now Demi fought sickness as a child and made some pretty good flicks I thought, but that just was too obviuos where her mind was really. I thought we were all going to mature and grow older not when we could do it regress into picking a guy based on his looks and sex drive.

"Good for her" right, confirms where WW was heading all along, too bad I didn't make enough money that she could have gotten the plastic surgery she wanted to lift her boobs sooner, or bought her that house, or allowed her that "Freedom", she got apparently from the drugs she bought with the grocery money I gave her every week.

Oh I get it of course, the only reason she lived as long as she did was because she never got enough freedom to do exacly what she wanted whe she felt like it. as soon as I felt like we were getting somewhere she would do something that would make me stop and think with caution. 20 years of up and down, forgiving and restoring, waiting for a real responsible change of mindset, yup, there were changes, but mostly lipservice as the mentalness seems to go underground, and then slowly come back up. There is an example of how problems in a marriage should be dealt with immediatly and how NOBODY escapes the damage from staying in a Plan to long. (Call it what you will, Plan A,B,Doormat,Superhero)

I am asking God for a sense of humor, because that is the only thing left that has any value personally to me. I like people, want a sense of purpose, and allways wanted to be in love and stay in love appreciating my wife in all her possible frailties and strengths, but I think its over for me, and I just want to be able to laugh about it. Yet the fool that I am cannot laugh about someones death, and I will allways have a part of me that feels responsible, even though nobody blames me, and church people don't, my therapist says it wasn't my fault, and for most of my relationship the addiction denial emotional instability crap kept coming up and making itself my most important issue we had to solve. I thought life was for living about more than that.

But then when I think about it..poor Ashton..

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I was reading the news this morning. Not sure why this was in the news, but it caught my eye.

Hugh Hefner has moved on to his "New Gal".

As I clicked on the picture I couldn't help but realize he looks like such a sad man. Then I really began the digest exactly who that man is and what he has done for infidelity.

I cannot imagine how one goes through life without true intimate love. The more I heal from this infidelity nightmare the more I realize I missed out on so much intimacy in my marriage.

I went along with marriage mostly out of committment, fear, and well committment.

I guess what angers me the most is people's unwillingness to change. It is so hard to look at my marriage today and realize the only reason he is divorcing me is because he doesn't want to deal with him.

Case after case, year after year all these stories and all these people mirror each other. The vets tell the same advice, and infidelity fits an almost perfect pattern.

As much as I want to sit here and sulk, I can't, so I sit here and learn this thing called consistency and patience in Plan B. Work on me and move on with my life. I see the patience in the vets time after time after time, which says to me they must also have that in their marriages.

When you understand the behavior of the vets, you understand how a marriage can be built on great principles, which I believe Dr. H derived as a gift given to him by GOD. I will work to also have that same patience in my life. Thank you Vets for showing us newbies how to have consistency and patience.


My shattered family whose only option is to rise out of the ashes.

I fully get why GOD in every chapter of the bible discusses why you should NOT commit adultery. Only if those F'ing wayturds would comprehend that.

Last edited by itistoughlove; 06/24/11 09:41 AM. Reason: forgot NOT
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Don't you wonder if Hugh Hefner is really one of those guys who has the best cars in the world, but really can't appreciate them?
He was a bit of a rebel against racial prejudice, but hey we all know the REAL reason he got so popular, men had money and wanted women and he was able to cash in on that market
The stuff about how he respected women "beyond and for more" than Thier bodies, well, lol, so do most mature men. Smokescreen and hide your intentions right out on front. If that was his intentions, then he needed to work harder as a journalist

So he has women, grades them on thier looks, and throws in something about how they have character because they are taking care of Thier baby, and going to college Yeah so aren't most of the strippers you talk to, they are just poor victims and a girl has to eat

So his criteria for a woman is her measurements, physical health, but not emotional depth. If it were not so he would not use those women like a slave trader selling them at an auction. Health is great, but beauty is deeper than a pretty face and Hef has taken the basest human instincts and tried to make it seem respectable and ahem, mature as men should judge by looks alone

In my life I have appreciated many different women, and some of them were not of the what can averagely considered beautiful type.
Looks really don't. go very far or last very long for me, and beauty is skin deep, because an ugly heart goes to the bone

My late wife was an exotically beautiful women, and it was a curse to her. She had to work at being appreciated for something else than her looks and still, guys hit on her and were like putty in her hands. She devoted her life to God early on at 18 and was wonderful with children, but when she got insecure, she could allways put on the charm, and pull men in like flys, as they would give her attention, and agree with everything she said. Then she would hate herself as she degraded herself and the cycle would continue

Yeah she would have made Hefs criteria list, and probably lived well as a model or actress, but her heart was really in making a home for children and wanted to have an farm where we could bring in abused and neglected children, because she had grown up neglected, and watched her Mom turn from a beautiful woman to a raging wacked out alcoholic. It's to bad even the men who stated that they were in the Christian faith, could not keep Thier heads from dreaming of more than an appreciation of who she was. I can tell you she was totally a women and had a tender heart and it was a difficult task for anyone including me not to want more than friendship.

So how did Hef make the world a better place for beautiful women? He didn't because he promoted the flesh, sold it and counted on the basest natural drive man has, visual sensitivity and stimulation, to draw in "readers", and make a buck. I don't care if he becomes a monk and donates all his wealth to charity, he made a living selling flesh, and has added to the age old problem of men seeing beauty as simply physical, and attempts to dignify it

Hef did have some great cars/women but he did not know what was under the hood hence how could he even know what he had? He is like that kid who shows off all his cool stuff but does not get any satisfaction from it really. Are we surprised it's all appearance?


Me 56 Former BS
Widowed 5-17-09 --married 25 years.
4 children
DS-35 previous marriage--18-22 DGrandSons 6 and 4
Me former BS
DD-29 with DGDs 5 and 1yr
DSs 26 and 23
Teilhard de Chardin..“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” ...Sounds about right to me.
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I wouldn't knock Hugh... up until the point that he had his first "marriage."

It was then that he truly became a hypocrite, because he never intended to keep the vows he spoke, and also broke his vow to "never get married."

Guys who buy Playboy aren't "victims of the establishment." The women who surround him aren't "victims" either.

It isn't a Playboy mansion filled with 4-year-olds. And even well-raised 19-year-olds have some sense, even if they have no sense of long-standing consequences.

Hugh didn't poison the world, because the lemmings ate willingly.


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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Itstough,
I feel for you I really do

You get it about patience and how important it is in maturity. I think you nailed Dr H got that gift from God and I am sure he was listening to him also in humility to receive it.

But there ya go, waywards have thier chemistry so mixed up, they are high on themselves. They believe they can do no wrong and God must be blessing them if they feel so good. Not much humility there

You can trust that God will bless you and keep you, no matter what happens.

" If you being Evil give your children good gifts, how much more shall your
Father in heaven give whom is not corrupted?"(not sure that is verbatim)
" If you ask him for bread shall He give you a stone?"

You are committed to love, and that requires that you receive it from above, because we just don't have it in us unconditionally

Thank God for your childrens sake you are so committed, thank you for being real.

It's funny all the Wayturds think they are so different and special, but there actions and consequences they pay are almost allways the same. It's to bad they don't come back to earth with us lowly humans and embrace thier frailty,
Maybe they would get some real strenth knowing thier weak like the rest of us do, and depending on instruction from outside Thier world they live in

Hang in Thier tough it's gonna get better God promises and he cannot lie

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