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Oh, ya, BBQ!!! I am meat! Meaning I love it. Not that I want to be BBQed by Mel (only on the forum, that's ok).  We do not BBQ eye-talians in Texas, silly!  I do make some MEAN pork ribs, though!! 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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update...I am in Ca looking for a job. I m visiting several venues.
My SIL lives in Ca and I am looking into venues in her area as well. She is not there now but she offered me to stay at her house and use her car. This will save me car rental money. My brother in law is working long hours so I will have minumum contact with him and her being away I will not even see.
Should I accept the offer?????
blessing
atena
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That sounds great! Can you drive a car? You know we drive on the RIGHT over here!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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of course I know!!! I have a TX license they might not like that here in CA.  I just do not want to be too close to WH family, but his sister seems to be on my side consistently...I think she is trying to help. ANd her H hates my WH! Blessing
atena
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of course I know!!! I have a TX license they might not like that here in CA. SAY WHAT????  How did a silly eye-talian get a TEXAS drivers license!!?? MY LORD!! 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I lived in Dallas, they trusted I could drive since I was eye-talian, they said if you can drive there you can drive even here in TX so they gave the license to me without even blinking 
atena
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Oh my!!!!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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p.s. we are having eye-talian food tonight in your honor, Atena! Digorno frozen pizza!! 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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If someone takes me out for eye-talian food in here in Ca I will suggest we stay home and have a DiGiorno pizza... 
atena
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If someone takes me out for eye-talian food in here in Ca I will suggest we stay home and have a DiGiorno pizza... It was delish!! 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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atena, take the offer. It is WH problem not yours if your SIL is close to you.
How is the job hunt. Any good prospects?
I am an eye-talian driving in Texas also. I was just back east and packed my suitcase with bracoli-rabe and escarole because they don't have it here! Cooked it up already. yum
Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09
Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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Ok, I am finally on a very dark plan B since I have not seen WH in 2 months now. I should be feeling better but I still miss him and think about him every single day. I know he is not worth it and he is no M material. He is an unrepentant WS in an active A. Really, when does the pain end. I just talked to my mom and she said: "You could move to the Moon and you will still be thinking of him, you have to get him out of your heart because your heart comes with you wherever you go. If you do not do that it does not matter how far you go, you can't run from yourself." 
atena
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The longer you are away from him the less you will think of him. It has only been a few weeks.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I am an eye-talian driving in Texas also. I was just back east and packed my suitcase with bracoli-rabe and escarole because they don't have it here! Cooked it up already. yum Another eye-talian and her foreign foods! 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Thank you Mel, it will take some time, I am so addicted to my "story" and WH! I think I find a weird comfort about being such a victim. In a way my all identity is build around the fact that my M ended because of an A!!
I need to get a life soon! He has moved on nicely and I am still stuck in (bad)memories lane.
blessing
atena
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I so hope you can get a job over here!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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hi all, yes I really hope so!!
I am in 2 months plus in serious NC and dark plan B. I dream of WH every night and I can't stop thinking about him.
I still love him and I really hope that moving away will help me.
It has been 2 years now in an imperfect plan b (we work together) and he has not given me any sign of any repentance. Only total indifference. I believe he really never loved me at this point. It is so sad. 20 years of M with a man who could care less about me. And yet there were times in our M when I was sure he was in love with me.
blessing
atena
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Atena, I know how much you must MISS being ignored, disrespected and abused for so many years. Remember the times he tormented you with his "friendships" with OW? And then gaslighted you and made you feel like you were some kind of freak when you expressed your concern? Told you that you were crazy when you expressed jealousy? What fun times!!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Hi Atena,
Any luck with the job market? Hope you have some good prospects...when do you go back overseas? Did you get to see your son?
You have to put your WH in perspective. I remember the man that I loved who is so far from the alien he is today. Until the OW is gone every particle of their being is gone.
Remember the old movie "The Body Snatchers" where people were replaced by soul-less pods? That is a WS.
I know my XH hates me because I screwed up his life (pretty sad but funny), because I fought in the D, I fought for my M, I fought for my family, I fought in the bankruptcy, and most of all because i did not roll over and die and rocked his fantasy world.
Stay dark and time will heal us one day.
Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09
Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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Atena, I know how much you must MISS being ignored, disrespected and abused for so many years. Remember the times he tormented you with his "friendships" with OW? And then gaslighted you and made you feel like you were some kind of freak when you expressed your concern? Told you that you were crazy when you expressed jealousy? I think the thing that bothers me the most is his attachement to OW. Was he an a$$ h@le only with me or is it the way he eventually becomes with every woman? I am sure OW has no say about him having female friends and I know for a fact that he does have female friends now that he is no longer in the M. OW must be ok with it since she has no power over him (she is not his wife). So he must like that and think what a great person she must be compared to me who was so jealous. OW truly understands him and wants him just the way he is. This is what he is thinking..I am pretty sure. She looks so good to him compared to me and this is really disgusting... blessing
atena
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