Hi everyone. First time posting. About two months ago i caught my wife texting a coworker. I confronted her and she said they were best friends story. It was pretty rough for a couple of days. I was hurt she didnt seem to understand why. Her mother suggested we have a night apart. I thought it was a good idea so she was suppose to stay at her moms one night. Well she never came back. Since all this i have done research on affairs and affair fog. I couldnt understand cause a month prior to this she was telling me how great a husband and father i was. How much she loved me and so on. Then just out of no where everything fell apart. When she moved out i was begging her to stay and trying to figure out what i had done to make her do something like this. She told me the usual affair fog babble. We have three little girls and i so badly want to keep our family together. Trying to talk to her is like trying to talk to a brick wall right now. So right now we have been seperated for two months. She is definatly having a PA. She said she doesnt want to see me or talk to me on the phone. She has said she wants a divorce. Which i have been waiting for papers but nothing yet. I have been doing NC. Im just not sure what to do. I have tried exposing the affair which she was terrified at first than when i did it didnt bother her at all. If i want to save the marriage am i just going to have to let the affair run its course. Any Advice Please.

Have you done plan A yet?

CV

Who did you expose the affair TO? Is the OM married? Where does your wife live? And are the kids with you?

I exposed the affair to everyone. Yes he is and i told his wife about it but she already knew. They all work together and i couldnt believe that she was ok with it. The kids we split between the week. No i havent tried plan a yet.

Don't fight that will make things so much worse. No love busters at all but that is so hard but you need to do it. Build love units and be patient.

Plan activities with her and your kids.

I would love to do that but she wont have any of it.

Follow the advice that you get here.....don't feel like you're alone, I fully exposed my WW's affair, she has refused to speak to me for over 2 months because she's mad at me.
SHE'S MAD AT ME!....

Did you expose the affair to their employer, and let them know that they are liable for a potential sexual harrassment lawsuit in addition to a civil suit for damages?

I am in your same shoes and you are not alone.

Can you create any time with her?

How can you make yourself attractive to her?

Follow the advice that you get here.....don't feel like you're alone, I fully exposed my WW's affair, she has refused to speak to me for over 2 months because she's mad at me.
SHE'S MAD AT ME!....
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Same here. Exposed last Monday and now I am the one to blame for ruining his reputation, he is 'done' with me for doing that to him.. WS's minds are sooo screwed up!

This should be interesting. Very nice lady said that they take this matter very seriously. They are going to start an investigation and she said she will update me within 48 hours to let me know whats going on. I can't wait. I hope they both get the boot.

donie, if there are other exposures that need to be done, I would get them done today so it hits them all at once. Expose to your WS's parents, family, friends, your family, children, the OP's spouse, if any, and his/her facebook friends. IT needs to hit them like a tsunami.

donie, please stay on one thread. It's difficult for posters to follow your story if you don't. Please update on your original thread.

(btw, good job on exposure!)

Please stick to one thread. You're doing good.

Why do you exchange the kids? I'd draw a line and say that the kids stay in the marital home. If she wishes to see them, then she needs to come home.

How old are your kids?

Yeah sorry. This was the last exposure. I did wait on this one cause I dont want.her to lose the job. But she has treated me like Crap and she needs to get away from OM.

Excellent! Now follow up with a (paper) letter to that lady, effusively complimenting her on her professional approach to this delicate subject and expressing your willingness to supply any/all assistance they need.....AND COPY THE TOP DOG IN THE ORGANIZATION!

Yes, WW's minds are so screwed up. I know. I'm one of them. I never left my DH though and I've had NC with OM for almost three months (see below for more details).

When someone is in the fog like that, you have to let her do what she wants to do. It's up to you if you feel like waiting for her to realize she's made a BIG mistake.

I am sorry your girls are suffering.
CT

Yes you guys are so right about WSs. They are in their own little world. I have noticed that there is absolutly nothing that i or anyone else can say to her. She knows exactly what she is doing and she doesnt need me anymore. Just a piece of trash tossed away. I will stick to this thread from now on. Today i called their HR department and told them what was going on. The lady was very nice and she said that they take that very seriously. She said they will do an investigation and she would update me in 48 hours. Im pretty excited about it. I hope they can both of them. When they come out of the fog do they always feel guilty and feel like it was a big mistake? Just curious cause i have read that sometimes they do and sometimes they dont.

Threads have now been merged.

Tonight is really crappy. This is the worst I have felt so far. Daughter talked to W tonight before bed. I try not to hear them talking cause just her voice gets my emotions going. I heard her say she was out eating and I could only guess with who. I feel so weak. She is out having a good time and im home trying to deal with all the pain. I've read that WWs tell you they don't want anything to do with you than the next minute they are telling you they miss and love you. Well not mine. It has been two months and I feel that she has not second guessed her decision. Hopefully with more time she will see past the fog and see the light. I hate feeling so helpless. Sorry for the rant. Had to get it off my chest.