|
|
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,116
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,116 |
Oh...and today is my 26th wedding anniversary.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,708
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,708 |
Oh Happy day to you. You are one heck of a woman, of a wife, a mother,of a person.
Celebrate you and the family.
Call it "Family Day", the day 26 years ago, you established a magnificent family.
Maybe you and the kids can go out for a nice meal somewhere?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
Celebrate you and the family.
Call it "Family Day", the day 26 years ago, you established a magnificent family.
Maybe you and the kids can go out for a nice meal somewhere? What a terrific suggestion ! I second the motion.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,116
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,116 |
Howdy MB Friends,
Just a quick update to show how slow and frustrating this mess can end up being. I shouldn't say "end up" since we are no where near reaching a settlement. As I reported earlier, D!ck is now representing himself. He hauled me to court last week for a support modification and HE WON. I'm getting a 20+% cut in support and a further cut when DD graduates in May.
And the audacity of it all. I had to get on the stand and D!ck questioned me about my job and pay and why I failed to report it to him for so long. Then my attorney did the same of him since I knew he had received pay for a consulting job yet failed to report it to me.
Thank goodness the decision isn't retroactive. But -- even this victory isn't enough for D!ck. He text me later that day saying he's going to file another motion to get my pay further examined.
That's his strategy since I'm the one with the attorney. Keep going to court and making me spend what little I have to defend my self. It costs him $40 and me $800. Not fair.
I learned that his bankruptcy fate has been decided. His claim is dismissed with bar to refile within one year of the stipulation. Which means he will drag out our D proceedings for another year, file bankruptcy again to add another year repreave, then hope I say "uncle."
This man -- I really shouldn't call him "man" since he's no where near one of those -- is pursuing the "scorch the earth" mentality of destroying me and our kids.
The only contact the kids had with him over the holidays were "Happy Xmas" and "Happy New Year" texts from him. Here we had two kids home from college and he couldn't spare more than a few finger strokes on them. No gifts. No offer to pay airfare back. Nothing.
And my wonderful FIL ended up with emergency surgery and D!ck couldn't care less. I sent a text that his dad was in surgery again. He text back "Have no Dad -- just like DS."
He will rot in hell for those words.
I am so so a changed woman. I have no fear of him or my financial future or my kids' lives. The kids told me this was the best Christmas ever. We are all on the same page. Dad is a weirdo. He's greedy, bitter, and out to make our lives miserable.
He will not succeed. I can look that devil in the eyes now and I will not faulter.
If I lose the house, big deal. Same as support. I know I'm on the right path confirmed when on Christmas Eve I was at in-laws house with my kids and all D!ck's family doing what we've done for the past 30 years. The only person missing was D!ck.
Not just me and our kids. Everyone is tired of D!ck's antics.
I will get there legally. I'm already recovered in my heart and head.
M 25 yrs, 3 teens
Dday 12/07
5ish False Recoveries (all in 2008)
12/08 WH moves in w/OW, her kids
Plan B/D/FU -- depending on the day
He files 1/09; D final 12/2012
"I'm moving on"
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
He will not succeed. I can look that devil in the eyes now and I will not faulter. "Sin in it's ordinary progression first deceives, next hardens, and then destroys." - John Thornton Thinking about this quote in the context of a wayward mind ....
1. Deception.
We talk about wayward "fog", which is verbal expression of the self deception that goes on in a wayward mind. Deception which allows a so called "normal" person to commit adultery. "The enemy" is the ultimate liar. What deception does is this, deception makes swallowing a deadly poison seem like a desirable choice. This is the point in adultery where the waywards telling themselves lies might be shocked into reality by exposure. perhaps not, but it is possible. Truth & light are kryptonite to the deception. I am talking about the wayward losing his/her mind.
2. Hardening.
Now, about the wayward's heart. It hardens. The wayward heart becomes callous. The wayward heart becomes closed off and insensitive to the pain and devastation their adultery causes. The wayward can even accept the broken hearts of their own children if that pain supports their adultery. The wayward becomes impervious to empathy. Cry all you want, your tears have no meaning for the hardened heart of a lost wayward. Your tears, your pain only annoy the hardened wayward heart.
3. Destruction.
And finally, the wayward's soul. The sin of adultery destroys the wayward's soul. The spiritual essence of humanity is nowhere to be found in the wayward. Integrity has been cast off in order for the adultery to continue. The wayward does not go on his/her merry way unscathed. The wayward is the most wounded of all. The destruction of a once beautiful soul, now made ugly by sin, is heartbreaking.
There is a progression to this loss.
Humans are vulnerable to temptation.
Temptation feels good.
But, giving into the sin, and living in the sin is life changing.
Soul changing.
We can actually SEE it sometimes.
We can actually SEE the cold eyes of the hardened heart.
We can actually SEE the lifeless eyes of the soulless.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,708
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,708 |
It is so sad.
(not just D!ck, but all the waywards who are still wayward)
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786 |
Is Bimbo in the picture? Also - did D!ck's appearance change dramatically over the past 4 years?
I noticed my WH has aged dramatically within this past year of his adultery. I was actually shocked by his facial changes.
Praying for you Holy and happy your personal recovery is coming along well.
Last edited by PrayIncessantly; 01/08/12 01:52 PM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686 |
It's good that you don't have to worry. If you do lose the house, you have your IL...who have been such gems. 
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686 |
And...really..? "Have no dad." 
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,116
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,116 |
DD met D!ck before she went back to college. He told her he's seeing a therapist, that he's living with a co-worker, and he's looking for a new job out of the area.
Guess the kitchen got too hot for him.
And -- weird -- he dropped in to check on his dad who had heart surgery. He was awkward. Stayed only 5 minutes, opened to frig to see if there was anything to eat, then left. It was during his lunch hour and he was wearing workout clothes. Guess he's made more than one New Year's resolution.
I see the hole D!ck has dug for himself. And I see that he cannot make it right with his parents and our kids without making it right with me. Last week he sent me a text at court saying "See you in hell" then tries to make it nice with our DD and FIL? Those two mind-sets just don't mesh in my book.
I hope D!ck just settles this D with me and lets move on. I'm at the "acceptance" of this long, drawn out saga. Four years of pain and stress -- and I'm OK thanks to God, family, friends and MB.
It's weird how I wanted revenge at the beginning. Anything to make D!ck and Bimbo's lives miserable. Now -- I don't care about them. It is what it is. And I predicted it all. I said it all to D!ck over and over again. They will not last. He will burn every bridge and have difficulty rebuilding. I will not be there for him.
As for reconciliation...D!ck has not broached that subject in over 3 years. Him telling me to "see him in hell" and calling me wh0r# via text is telling. I will always be at fault in his mind. His pride and arrogance will not let him admit blame.
Shame on him for doing this to our family and "choosing" to not make it right. For now.
I'll keep you posted. We go to court again on Thursday.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786 |
I follow your situation closely because your WH reminds me of my WH. I am praying he will find his soul now that BIMBO is out of the picture.
I keep waiting for the day a repentant and remorseful D!ck is at your door.
I pray for you HH, and God Bless on Thursday!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
I'll keep you posted. We go to court again on Thursday. Hey gurl.... Wassup?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,116
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,116 |
I'm keeping my head above water. No progress on the D. Seems D!ck has done NOTHING towards cleaning up his debts since his bankruptcy was denied.
He turned 50 this past week. MIL sent him a card. I don't fault her. I kept thinking of him that day. I'm entitled.
Back to court next week. Since my attorney won't do anything, it's up to me to get something...anything...before the judge. If not, D!ck will keep dragging this out with hopes I lose the house and go broke paying attorney fees.
Me? I'm doing good. Only wish I could get back on that D diet. I'm happy -- and fat.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,116
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,116 |
Finally... we have a trial date. This is 4.5 years after D-day, 3.5 years after he walked out and filed. I finally will have my day in court. My chance to tell my story. And Bimbo WILL be on the witness list. I should sell tickets
M 25 yrs, 3 teens
Dday 12/07
5ish False Recoveries (all in 2008)
12/08 WH moves in w/OW, her kids
Plan B/D/FU -- depending on the day
He files 1/09; D final 12/2012
"I'm moving on"
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986 |
Finally! Have you subpoenaed Bimbo? Even if she's no longer in the puncture, she deserves her day in court too... to have to face you! I know you'll be relieved when the Judge signs the order. I hope you get everything you want. Let us know the date and we'll say a prayer for you that day.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686 |
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 |
Finally... we have a trial date. This is 4.5 years after D-day, 3.5 years after he walked out and filed. I finally will have my day in court. My chance to tell my story. And Bimbo WILL be on the witness list. I should sell tickets Good luck and let us know when and we will send up good karma and like Princessmeggy said prayers up. I also looked for schoolbus's thread, on when to know they are done with OW, and I couldn't find it either so maybe it was lost in the crash.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,688
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,688 |
"I finally will have my day in court. My chance to tell my story. And Bimbo WILL be on the witness list."
..so you will, HH. So you will.
Last edited by barbiecat; 04/20/12 06:24 AM.
Me; W 46
Him; H 46
2 girls
DD19
DD16
Dated/Married total 28 years.
..I am learning and working on myself.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786 |
Finally... we have a trial date. This is 4.5 years after D-day, 3.5 years after he walked out and filed. I finally will have my day in court. My chance to tell my story. And Bimbo WILL be on the witness list. I should sell tickets Will be praying for you ... I do hope you get what is owed and deserved to you and your precious children.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,116
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,116 |
Trial is Wednesday. He already started bullying my attorney saying he doesn't agree with the brief prepared by my guy and he wants to delay it to get another attorney. Sheeeze. D!ck just won't go down with the ship. And yes, FINALLY, Bimbo got served. Wonder if THAT is why he wants to delay the trial.
Three and a half years of court is ENOUGH. And another attorney -- he's already had 2 for the divorce and another for his failed bankruptcy -- is ENOUGH.
I'm ready. Bring it, D!ck and Bimbo.
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
827
guests, and
50
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
