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My horrorscope never told me I was going to spew coffee out my nose tonight.....
I am 52, stbxh is 46 One child together 15 DD 2 (mine) from 1st marriage, 26 dd and 28 ds. Married Dec 94 Separated Oct 09 Too many D-Days to list. (EA/Cyber affairs) He filed no fault 3-2011 I countered with grounds. Court date set for June 6, 2011 for Final Decree and was continued. That ticked him off, he is now fighting for custody. Lawyers are expensive, my daughter is worth every penny. Even the ones I have to borrow.
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Did anyone but me detect that "Bizarro Mel Lois" had her "notify finger" flexed and poised to strike?
More age-revelation - That "annual" was published between 1964 and 1967. I know. I HAD it.
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Did anyone but me detect that "Bizarro Mel Lois" had her "notify finger" flexed and poised to strike? Don't you mean the "NeverGuessed" notify finger!?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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You mean I get my OWN finger!
(Uhhh, you needn't answer that, Tex!)
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So, this video was "funny ha-ha," and then I read this; Just Deal With It? Really?
"There is great evidence that what clinicians do works. In fact the average treated client in most studies is better off than 80% of the untreated sample in those studies... I'm saying that there is something about these people [therapists] that makes them better at their work overall... These [therapists] are people who seem to get reliably better outcomes, and here's what they are: they are open to feedback, in other words they listen to what the consumer is saying, as opposed to relying on their ideology or treatment technology, or training."
On the one hand, "just deal with it" strikes a certain down-to-earth common sense note. On the other hand, it is hardly a radically new concept. To me, learning to "deal with it" suggests learning to accept some of the unpleasant givens in one's own physical condition, genetic predisposition, or existential situation. There is a whole mindfulness tradition emanating from Buddhist meditation practices having to do with acceptance. For example, Tara Brach, author of Radical Acceptance, says in an interview:
"Radical acceptance has two elements: It is an honest acknowledgment of what is going on inside you, and a courageous willingness to be with life in the present moment, just as it is. I sometimes simplify it to �recognizing' and �allowing.' You can accept an experience without liking it. In fact, let's say you are feeling stuck in anxiety and disliking the feeling. Radical Acceptance includes accepting both the feelings of anxiety and the aversion to it. In fact, acceptance is not real and not healing unless it honestly includes all aspects of your experience."
Similarly, a number of Western psychotherapeutic approaches have embraced the notion of acceptance as a key component in their approach. For example, Dr. Steven Hayes has been developing and researching for the past 30 years an approach he calls ACT (Acceptance Commitment Therapy). I recently interviewed Russ Harris MD who has written The Happiness Trap an ACT-based self-help book. In that interview, Harris describes Acceptance in the following terms, saying "... it creates this expansive space inside them where they can open up and make room for difficult feelings and difficult emotions and difficult thoughts and just kind of let those difficult thoughts and emotions flow through their body without getting pushed around by them, without getting held back by them and also without getting into a fight or struggle with them... it massively reduces their impact over them." http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-happiness-dispatch/201106/just-deal-it-reallySo, progressive study says; Just stop it!
Last edited by HoldHerHand; 07/12/11 02:39 PM.
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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Looks like common sense is spreading in some quarters!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Looks like common sense is spreading in some quarters! Hold that thought .... I found one of your baby pictures ....
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Naw, she looks too sweet!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Like a rattle snake!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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So, progressive study says; Just stop it! Anyone who liked the video above would probably love the A&E TV show Obsessed.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Like a rattle snake!
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I wear a thong, thankyew...
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Ewwwwwwww! I'm thinking that's the "Special Reserved-For-NG Mod Notify Finger"!
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I'm thinking that's the "Special Reserved-For-NG Mod Notify Finger"! Wrong fanger, silly!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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