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#2589192 01/23/12 02:05 PM
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Guys (and girls), I'm looking for some interesting ideas for a Valentine's day/night out. Please chime in with your suggestions. confused I'm currently thinking about a dinner/dancing cruise on a local lake. What might you have cooking?


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I am working hard to avoid getting a BF before Valentine's Day. I hate. loathe and despise the day. I did see a singles auction fundraiser. I thought I might go bid. Rather than be bought with Diamonds (thank you DeBeers commercials), I'd rather do the buying.

Joking. I think.

If you have a date, I think a dinner cruise may be fun.


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Originally Posted By: Greengables
I am working hard to avoid getting a BF before Valentine's Day

This is where I have trouble with the abbreviations and acronyms. I read this as "I am working hard to avoid getting a boyfriend before Valentine's Day." Can that be true???


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Originally Posted By: Fred_in_VA
Originally Posted By: Greengables
I am working hard to avoid getting a BF before Valentine's Day

This is where I have trouble with the abbreviations and acronyms. I read this as "I am working hard to avoid getting a boyfriend before Valentine's Day." Can that be true???


That's what it looks like to me, too, Fred.


Me: BS 51
Himself: WH 53, EA/PA w/ RunnerSlut his "running buddy."
Buncha' kids. The two youngest are still minors.
Separated: 08/13/09 after 25 years of marriage
Plan D: Filed 11/13/09 Final 3/30/11
MC told me that he probably has a personality disorder
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Absolutely. There is nothing worse than starting to date someone just before Valentine's day. too much pressure.

And just now I've gone out with a man twice. It's a tricky time. Ideally, you get a boyfriend right after V-day. That way, if he's still in the picture the next time St. Valentine rolls around, it will be a year. Then, you know where you are. Sappy card, decent present, home-cooked dinner.


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I think if it's someone new in your life they can bring roses and you can fix a special dinner and you can continue getting to know each other without the pressure of cards and sappy phrases.

Me, I'll buy my dog a nice dog biscuit! smile


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If I may...?

Speaking as a guy, I think it's tougher on a man this time of year when a relationship may be starting.

Do I take a leap of faith and send Valentine's Day flowers? Candy? The same-old-tired-stuff, or don't I?

What might she think? Am I moving too fast? Will she get the wrong idea? What if I don't? Is she expecting me to send something?

I could go on, but I think I've made my point.

GG, you haven't said you're in a relationship. You've only said you've dated one guy twice.

Why are you anxious about Valentine's Day?


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I wasn't thinking SENDING FLOWERS, I was assuming she'd be seeing him on Valentine's Day so thought he might BRING flowers. I just don't think it should be a big deal if they're just starting to date.


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Originally Posted By: kaycstamper
I wasn't thinking SENDING FLOWERS, I was assuming she'd be seeing him on Valentine's Day so thought he might BRING flowers. I just don't think it should be a big deal if they're just starting to date.

I think maybe you misunderstood me, KC. I think there is a lot of pressure on guys to be the "givers" on Valentine's Day. In fact, last year at this time I went through a lot of these mental gymnastics (see my thread) over the woman I had just started seeing.

Roses? They can send a pretty powerful message, you know. For someone who is trying to avoid getting a BF before Valentine's Day, a lot of care has to be taken -- by both sides -- to make sure no confusing messages are sent...


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I think people read too much into stuff and make it more pressure on themselves. I've had guys bring flowers on the first date so I never thought anything of it other than as a nice gesture.


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Originally Posted By: kaycstamper
I think people read too much into stuff and make it more pressure on themselves. I've had guys bring flowers on the first date so I never thought anything of it other than as a nice gesture.

Your comment brings two things to my mind. The first is that not everyone thinks the same way. The second is that I have always thought it appropriate to bring a small gift/token on a first date.

But I have also been aware that there is a certain level to which such gifts rise. Bringing a small bouquet of spring flowers in a vase is (to me) quite appropriate. But bringing a dozen roses with fern and baby's breath is not. Why? Because roses (particularly red roses) convey a deep feeling -- love. Highly inappropriate on a first date!

Of course, that's the way I think. I'm sure there are some guys who wouldn't even think of bringing anything on a first date. And there are women like you who take it all in stride and don't care one way or the other.

If you read (or remember) my thread on The Art of the First Date, you will see that I was taken to task for "sending the wrong message" by bringing gifts to the woman I was dating. Wow, did that ever shake my belief system!

My point, on this too-long rambling post, is that not everything is black-and-white, and that Valentine's Day gifts for people who are in the very early stages of dating, can be very trepidatious.


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Poor Fred, alas I think dating should be fun and if it's full of trepidation, maybe one should reconsider the whole thing...but then who am I to answer, I'd rather dispense with the whole thing! smile I didn't read the post about you being taken to task. You are very conscientious, which is sweet, but I hate to see anyone having to sweat it this much. To me, sending a wrong message is asking someone to marry you and then breaking up with you by Fed Ex. Or marrying you and then disappearing so you have to file a missing person's report. Having survived both of these scenarios, what kind of flowers I get, if any, seems insignificant in comparison. Just enjoying someone's wonderful company seems good enough to me, so long as they're honest and well-intentioned. Maybe people shouldn't use Valentine's Day as a springboard for a new relationship if it's all that complicated! Peace, Fred! smile


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Hi, Fred.

When I posted that, there was enough time for it to develop into a Valentine's day question. If you're actually really in a relationship, V-day isn't so bad. If you are just dating..... EEEK.

Luckily, the guy broke up with me last Wednesday. I'm off the hook.


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Originally Posted By: Greengables
Luckily, the guy broke up with me last Wednesday. I'm off the hook.

"Luckily???"

I'm sorry the guy broke up with you, GG. Maybe you take rejection better than I do.

Just last night I saw Dancing Girl.

I wish I hadn't.

Oh, we talk, but there's just nothing else there. On her part, that is.


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Fred, it always hurts to get rejected. But, in my case it was sooner rather than later in the relationship, which is lucky. Less hurt. Also, there were several flags that I saw. Yellow flags, but still. And as much as rejection stinks, I find it easier than breaking up with someone myself.

Meanwhile, plans are now developing with a girlfriend.


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Originally Posted By: Greengables
I am working hard to avoid getting a BF before Valentine's Day. I hate. loathe and despise the day. I did see a singles auction fundraiser. I thought I might go bid. Rather than be bought with Diamonds (thank you DeBeers commercials), I'd rather do the buying.

Joking. I think.

If you have a date, I think a dinner cruise may be fun.


This just reminded me of one my favorite movie lines. Holly Hunter's character said it in "Always":

"I can't be with a guy who looks like I won him in a raffle."

lol.


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HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY Y'ALL!


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Thank you for the suggestions, everyone. We ended up with a relatively simple approach, I think. Had a terrific dinner on Friday night at a romantic restaurant to celebrate, then she cooked dinner for me on Tuesday (VDay) at her place, where we exchanged gifts.


Plan D Final: January 2011
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