Good luck to you all. I hope you wallow in your perfect little married ::surround that word with gold and sparkles for the rest of us have-nots to see::
Goodbye.
[/quote]


See you were the person having an affair and breaking up 2 marriages. Don�t you dare make this kind of statement and assume that you UNDERSTAND the pain of betrayal assuming everyone lives in a life of skittles and rainbows.

Some of us have been on the receiving end of an A. � You haven�t. Some of us have lived the world of betrayal and it is the most difficult experience in my life (tougher than the loss of my FATHER!). You don�t know the devastation that an A can bring to the BS.

Now that you are getting a little tiny taste of what it MIGHT feel like, you attack us and then run and hide. If you want help here you can get it. First you need to drop the attitude and get to work as posters have said.

Do some here that have been betrayed get fired up by the likes of you? Absolutely. It is meant to help wake you up and actually break through your walls. Believe it or not, it is true.

Good luck. You are going to need it.

Buh bye...

Good luck. You are going to need it.
[/quote]


Actually, I take that statement back.

UGHHHH!!!! Can't in good conscience say good luck to anyone who acts in such a despicable manor. Feel like I would be wishing good luck to the OM in my situation.

I hate adultery and all of its implications. I�m out of this one.

Wallow?

To quote Inigo Montoya- I do not think that word means what you think it means.

Hey .. Read my original post to you ... it about sums up what you gotta do to save your current relationship .. Yes there is a chance it will work out for you .. but like i said .. YOU have a ton of work to do.

Oh and BTW ... this forum and the people here are in fact life savers. They will NOT coddle you. They will call it as they see it. Its not often they are wrong ... its just the fog of some of the people who come here will not allow them to hear and grasp what they need to grasp to get the job done. It occasionally takes a few 2x4s to get the message through.

I highly suggest you read all the basic concepts here. And re read my original post. Then reconsider what others have said in a constructive way.

MNG

Actually, she has already offered that, but I told her it wasnt necessary, as long as the contact remained work related, and it's a really high paying job that she wouldnt be able to replace easily. Especialy in this economy. And with two kids to support, not a smart option. But yet, she still offered.

Seriously, the number of folks whose relationships started as an affair who come here because they are NOW being cheated on is almost funny except for this:


Listen, you need to stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about your son. This relationship has ZERO chance of making it.


Dr Harley would warn you about the challenges you will face in a M with this woman for each one of these things singularly:

~ relationship started as an affair
~ living together before marriage
~ blended family
~ your GF has problems with honesty
~ your GF has poor boundaries with men
~ your GF is currently entangled in an emotional relationship with her coworker

All of these together = train wreck.

It's nice that she makes you feel the warm and tinglies, but that is going to wear off and it's NOT enough to make a marraige work.. But since you are being led by your emotions and not logic, I am sure you will justify in your foggy head why M to her would be a good idea anyway. That makes me VERY sad for your son. You are walking him straight into a second divorce and that will be a disaster for him.

But no, it's all about YOU, isn't it? *sigh*

Apologize if this has already been done.

Please listen to this radio clip where the emailer asks how can he trust his now wife because their relationship started as an affair.

Trust in an affairage=
Here's what Dr. H has to say.
Radio clip on trust in an affairage

I'm not in any position to give advice but money is not everything when it comes down to family. I have done told my boss I would step down and take a pay cut if it meant I will get custody of my kids.


Money is not everything!!!!!!!!!!

I am of the opinion that some relationships are not worth saving. An affair certainly falls in that category. I would feel damn ashamed if I ever helped someone save an affair.

Where did you get this number from?

Dr Harley has repeatedly said most affairs don't make it to marriage and those that do are doomed. If they were married (which they aren't), he would tell them they probably have a 1 in 100 shot of making it...



http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2001709

Did I ever tell y'all that my spouse's OW wanted them to go to therapy, after she cheated on my husband?

Can you imagine that appointment?!?! LOL

Agree.

Not to mention, there is something really wrong when a person is on here trying to receive help saving their affair on a forum where people are on the floor bleeding over the destruction infidelity has caused in their lives.

It's also funny how we went from being "fine people" in the first post to big meanie heads in the span of about an hour.

"We've been living together for the past year, along with her two kids, and my son. (we have custody of them every other week, and then we have a week to ourselves, to spend alone with each other. Its actually worked out very nicely.) " quote


That's my favorite part. How it all worked out so well for the kids!

mga,

Have you shown true remorse and gone back to apologize to your first wife and your son? Have you grown enough to apologize to her two children and first husband? You tore apart two families, with your girlfriend's help. You have a lot of apologizing to do if you really want to "move forward".

Your fog is thick pal, you may want to listen to these wise people. If you don't see it now, give it time, you will. Guaranteed.