I finished my detail of every event I created and every instance I had an affair during my marriage to AI. It's 43 pages. I'm giving it to her now and we will confirm it on Thursday.

Read it again yourself and add what u left out. Because it will bite u in the az later. Promise!!!

43 pages? Oh dear Lord, I feel badly for your poor wife. WOW. And you are CERTAIN that you have left nothing out right? Also, I hope to all that is good and mighty that you didn't use words to justify any one of the things you did.

Are you willing to give up any avenues that caused you to have a secret second life? This isn't just about your current marriage, and family but the person whom you want to be in the next minute and every minute of your life from here on out. You choose, this moment, and every moment from now on to be the best man you can be. And that man doesn't lie, doesn't hide truths from those who love him, and doesn't intentionally hurt anyone anymore. You need to make that conscious effort to become something and someone better. You not only owe this to your wife, and children but to yourself. I really hope you make the right decision. And if you can think of even one thing that you left out, you better fess up to it now.

Yep. Forgot one person. She already knows about that one, but I'm writing it out right now.

Change is something I am completely down with.

I'm sorry... I don't have words right now. AI is in the bathroom while she reads and I have a HUGE feeling this isn't going to end well. I'm dedicated to this fight now. I want it to work worse than anything I've ever wanted.

But this truth... it's gonna kill her. I don't know if she's going to want to heal after this.

And no, I didn't justify anything. Straight facts. Am filling in whatever details I left out for her via text message.

TRT

Take it one day at a time.
Sometimes one hour at a time.

Told her about that one via text. No response.
I'm killing the woman I love.

TRT, I'm kind of curious about one thing. What possessed you to come so clean all of a sudden? You've been fighting everyone on this board for around a month to disclose the entire truth, and up until last night (quite unexpectedly I might add) you seemed to be adamant in staying that course.

What caused you to do a complete 180 in the matter of a few hours? I'm not trying to question your sincerity, but I am trying to figure out what motivated you to make this turn around this quickly.

I may be alone here, but this makes me wonder.

Originally Posted by TigerWes

TRT, I'm kind of curious about one thing. What possessed you to come so clean all of a sudden? You've been fighting everyone on this board for around a month to disclose the entire truth, and up until last night (quite unexpectedly I might add) you seemed to be adamant in staying that course.

What caused you to do a complete 180 in the matter of a few hours? I'm not trying to question your sincerity, but I am trying to figure out what motivated you to make this turn around this quickly.

I may be alone here, but this makes me wonder.

No, TW ~
You are NOT alone...
I have been wondering for a very long time WHY TRT does/says WHAT he does/says WHEN he does/says the things he does/says!
His inconsistencies are, to me, .
When I actually "see" that TRT's words are backed up by his actions via his BW's own words...
Well . . .
I must say that I continue to callous my knees in prayer for him!

She drew a line and I knew she was serious.
I'm good at reading people. Very good.
And when she started to scare me, I knew I was f*cked.
And then I thought about what might happen of she left me.
And then I realized the life I'd lead.
And then I realized what I'd miss.
And then I remembered all the absolutely obnoxious things she does.
And I realized that I'd miss them, too.

I also realized that I'd just met my match.
She had me pegged.

So now I'm taking a chance to love and live with the most powerful, beautiful, intellugent, funny, and downright angelic person I've ever met.

And I really hope she wants me, too.

So yeah... I got nothing to look forward to but bouncing from [censored] to [censored] while living with my parents for the rest of my life, not seeing my kids, and not having AI to go to sleep to and wake up to ever again, and then some.

Or I could hurt her one last time and have her forever.

I went for "the chance" for once in my life.

And I don't intend to [censored] it up.

And I'm sorry, I'm not going to stop swearing any time soon. You should hear the mouth on AI! It's one of the reasons I got together with her in the first place. It helps that she's hot, too.

Keep praying, homie. It's gonna be a long road.
Go get yersself a pillow.

AI just asked me a brutally tough question.


7 pages later... we'll see what she thinks.
I'm so tired of all of this lying. It's killing all of the energy everywhere.

If she lets me, I'm willing to post the entirety of the 43 page detailing of my infidelities, and the letter she asked me to write explaining why I'm here.

I want to be held accountable.

Sometimes I hate you all, but **edit** if you don't tell a whole ton of truth.

Oh, also, I let AI go through my iPhone contact list and delete any contacts she wanted. Another EP down.

Will sell my computer and all of my DVDs tomorrow.
This will more than cover the poly.
Thinking I might use the rest for something good. Something for her or us or the kids. Haven't decided yet.

HPB said this in a thread:


I think this sums up how I feel at the moment.

Please don't.
It's OK to give a brief summary. But please don't post all 43 pages.

Sorry for the t/j, but Pep could you please jump over to the recovery board and look in on Sydney?

Thanks in advance. If you're still up.

Okay. No problem.

In short, there were 2 physical affairs and 60+ emotional or inappropriate affairs.
All of which I wrote in as much detail as possible, including my intentions for each instance.

And an extremely detailed account of the last affair, which I'm sure AI will share with you to some degree. If not, I will.

From here on out, I've gotta do good. DO good.

To quote a text from AI last night:

If she gives you another chance. Wow.

Wow she has a lot of strength.

60??? /picksjawupoffthefloor

And not in a 50 yr marriage but in a SEVEN year marriage. Even if these were all at different stages of EA and never got physical (and I am sure I am not the only one who is HIGHLY skeptical about that), do you realize how much time and energy 60 EA's have taken from your wife and children? Every moment of IC, text, email, phone exchange you had with these other women could have been time and energy spent building a fantastic life with your wife and family.

My heart is breaking for your wife right now.

It sounds like you have your marching orders.

I have to say, that at this point, the idea that there were only 2 physical affairs has an air of unbelievability about it. Of course I cannot know the truth for certain from here, but I have developed some instincts in the time I have spent with this group. It seems extremely likely to me that you would go on about 60 emotional affairs in detail in order to hide a third, fourth, fifth physical affair.

So I'll just say that if there is something else you are hoping to conceal, you should expect that that is going to come out at some point. If you do not like where you are now, and you do not want to revisit where you are now, then now is the time to tell it.

A question I wish every wayward could be asked on a polygraph is "What question are you hoping I do not ask?"

Of course, only you know if you've told the whole truth. I am hoping that you have.

And not one of those 60 turned physical? It is really very hard to believe.

I hope you are doing your best and beyond right now to support your wife, she must be devastated.