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I finished my detail of every event I created and every instance I had an affair during my marriage to AI. It's 43 pages. I'm giving it to her now and we will confirm it on Thursday.
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Read it again yourself and add what u left out. Because it will bite u in the az later. Promise!!!
Me 44- yes ugggh WH 47 together 26 years M 19 serial cheater big time DD1 2.24.11 NC letter sent 3/7/11 NC letter to OW2 april final truths 5/8-- all of them poly confirmed 5/18 working the plan
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I finished my detail of every event I created and every instance I had an affair during my marriage to AI. It's 43 pages. I'm giving it to her now and we will confirm it on Thursday. 43 pages? Oh dear Lord, I feel badly for your poor wife. WOW. And you are CERTAIN that you have left nothing out right? Also, I hope to all that is good and mighty that you didn't use words to justify any one of the things you did. Are you willing to give up any avenues that caused you to have a secret second life? This isn't just about your current marriage, and family but the person whom you want to be in the next minute and every minute of your life from here on out. You choose, this moment, and every moment from now on to be the best man you can be. And that man doesn't lie, doesn't hide truths from those who love him, and doesn't intentionally hurt anyone anymore. You need to make that conscious effort to become something and someone better. You not only owe this to your wife, and children but to yourself. I really hope you make the right decision. And if you can think of even one thing that you left out, you better fess up to it now.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Yep. Forgot one person. She already knows about that one, but I'm writing it out right now.
Change is something I am completely down with.
I'm sorry... I don't have words right now. AI is in the bathroom while she reads and I have a HUGE feeling this isn't going to end well. I'm dedicated to this fight now. I want it to work worse than anything I've ever wanted.
But this truth... it's gonna kill her. I don't know if she's going to want to heal after this.
And no, I didn't justify anything. Straight facts. Am filling in whatever details I left out for her via text message.
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TRT
Take it one day at a time. Sometimes one hour at a time.
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Told her about that one via text. No response. I'm killing the woman I love.
Last edited by therightthing; 06/18/12 09:37 PM.
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TRT, I'm kind of curious about one thing. What possessed you to come so clean all of a sudden? You've been fighting everyone on this board for around a month to disclose the entire truth, and up until last night (quite unexpectedly I might add) you seemed to be adamant in staying that course.
What caused you to do a complete 180 in the matter of a few hours? I'm not trying to question your sincerity, but I am trying to figure out what motivated you to make this turn around this quickly.
I may be alone here, but this makes me wonder.
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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"Now is the time for all good MB Veterans to come to the aid of their MB Rookies!"
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She drew a line and I knew she was serious. I'm good at reading people. Very good. And when she started to scare me, I knew I was f*cked. And then I thought about what might happen of she left me. And then I realized the life I'd lead. And then I realized what I'd miss. And then I remembered all the absolutely obnoxious things she does. And I realized that I'd miss them, too.
I also realized that I'd just met my match. She had me pegged.
So now I'm taking a chance to love and live with the most powerful, beautiful, intellugent, funny, and downright angelic person I've ever met.
And I really hope she wants me, too.
So yeah... I got nothing to look forward to but bouncing from [censored] to [censored] while living with my parents for the rest of my life, not seeing my kids, and not having AI to go to sleep to and wake up to ever again, and then some.
Or I could hurt her one last time and have her forever. I went for "the chance" for once in my life.
And I don't intend to [censored] it up.
And I'm sorry, I'm not going to stop swearing any time soon. You should hear the mouth on AI! It's one of the reasons I got together with her in the first place. It helps that she's hot, too.
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Keep praying, homie. It's gonna be a long road. Go get yersself a pillow.
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AI just asked me a brutally tough question. If you were so desperately in love with her, and you had such a fantastic future planned, and you have missed her every day since May 5th.
Why are you here?
I would like a detailed answer. In writing. 7 pages later... we'll see what she thinks. I'm so tired of all of this lying. It's killing all of the energy everywhere.
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If she lets me, I'm willing to post the entirety of the 43 page detailing of my infidelities, and the letter she asked me to write explaining why I'm here.
I want to be held accountable.
Sometimes I hate you all, but **edit** if you don't tell a whole ton of truth.
Oh, also, I let AI go through my iPhone contact list and delete any contacts she wanted. Another EP down.
Will sell my computer and all of my DVDs tomorrow. This will more than cover the poly. Thinking I might use the rest for something good. Something for her or us or the kids. Haven't decided yet.
Last edited by Fireproof; 06/19/12 08:15 PM. Reason: TOS profane
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HPB said this in a thread: The last stages are where we must mentally choose between complete and unconditional surrender or whether we keep fighting for a chance to somehow win. We either accept that we don't want to change and remain the wayward indefinitely, or we cease fighting eveything and everyone and accept complete surrender to God. We begin to display Godly sorrow, and it's apparent to everyone that a Godly change has occured. Within this stage we have the opportunity discover one of the great paradox's of life; To completely surrender IS to win. I think this sums up how I feel at the moment.
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If she lets me, I'm willing to post the entirety of the 43 page detailing of my infidelities Please don't. It's OK to give a brief summary. But please don't post all 43 pages.
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If she lets me, I'm willing to post the entirety of the 43 page detailing of my infidelities Please don't. It's OK to give a brief summary. But please don't post all 43 pages. Sorry for the t/j, but Pep could you please jump over to the recovery board and look in on Sydney? Thanks in advance. If you're still up.
FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Okay. No problem. In short, there were 2 physical affairs and 60+ emotional or inappropriate affairs. All of which I wrote in as much detail as possible, including my intentions for each instance. And an extremely detailed account of the last affair, which I'm sure AI will share with you to some degree. If not, I will. From here on out, I've gotta do good. DO good. To quote a text from AI last night: You have two full days before the poly determines if we're safe to move forward.
Use them.
Show me what kind of man you can be. And plan to be.
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Okay. No problem. In short, there were 2 physical affairs and 60+ emotional or inappropriate affairs. All of which I wrote in as much detail as possible, including my intentions for each instance. And an extremely detailed account of the last affair, which I'm sure AI will share with you to some degree. If not, I will. From here on out, I've gotta do good. DO good. To quote a text from AI last night: You have two full days before the poly determines if we're safe to move forward.
Use them.
Show me what kind of man you can be. And plan to be. If she gives you another chance. Wow. Wow she has a lot of strength.
FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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60??? /picksjawupoffthefloor
And not in a 50 yr marriage but in a SEVEN year marriage. Even if these were all at different stages of EA and never got physical (and I am sure I am not the only one who is HIGHLY skeptical about that), do you realize how much time and energy 60 EA's have taken from your wife and children? Every moment of IC, text, email, phone exchange you had with these other women could have been time and energy spent building a fantastic life with your wife and family.
My heart is breaking for your wife right now.
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It sounds like you have your marching orders.
I have to say, that at this point, the idea that there were only 2 physical affairs has an air of unbelievability about it. Of course I cannot know the truth for certain from here, but I have developed some instincts in the time I have spent with this group. It seems extremely likely to me that you would go on about 60 emotional affairs in detail in order to hide a third, fourth, fifth physical affair.
So I'll just say that if there is something else you are hoping to conceal, you should expect that that is going to come out at some point. If you do not like where you are now, and you do not want to revisit where you are now, then now is the time to tell it.
A question I wish every wayward could be asked on a polygraph is "What question are you hoping I do not ask?"
Of course, only you know if you've told the whole truth. I am hoping that you have.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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And not one of those 60 turned physical? It is really very hard to believe. I hope you are doing your best and beyond right now to support your wife, she must be devastated.
Me, FWW: 43 Mr_Recon6mo, FWH: 44 DD20 and DS23 3 cats Married 23 years, together 24 Divorcing
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