Did you Check her facebook? Did you check for her identity?

The best way to feel better is to act. Are you reading the materials we are linking? Carrot and Stick of Plan A

While you're Mrs James Bond you're in Plan A.

These will help to figure out his lying.
VAR in his car
Keylogger Programs

I don't know what that means, or if it matters for keylogging. Can you pull the memory card on his phone?

He has to sleep sometimes.

You need to read the book Surviving and Affair

It gets crazy here sometimes. He tells me he loves me. He tells me he does not want me to call a lawyer. He says he wants to fix this. I tell him I can not move on without the truth and he then says I did tell u the truth. After I hear those words come out of his mouth I feel the anger inside of me just take over. I want to wring his neck. Then I think back about some of the things I hate about him, and one of them is I feel he is a very controlling person. Even now... he sees how hurt I am and my girls whoo are 18 and 22 and he still is trying to control this situation 9 weeks later still can not just tell me truth how is that someone who loves omeone and says he wants to fix this? I almost feel like I am brainwashed cause when he tells me it was just chit chat no flirting no nothing just talk about work I think to myself could it have been that. Then I say to myself how could it have been that. Four hours phone calls, and 2000 texts back and forth between them in 7 weeks. I feel like I am going crazy.

What is your plan to get the evidence? The things that he says are not relevant and is not going to help your situation. It is just designed to throw you off balance. Your focus has to stay on getting the evidence.

Nobody cares what he says. You should not be talking to him anyway. You will not hear any sense. If he tells you he loves you = lie; if he tells you he hates you = lie.


Never Take the Word of a Wayward

You need to stop talking to the crazy raving addict - and instead snoop and get PROOF.

Why are you wasting time?

You feel like you're going crazy because you are listening to a crazy person instead of concentrating on getting the facts.

Buy and read surviving an affiar! I am not an expert but I have seen your situation before. Essentially your husband is having an emotional affair with the ex. He is in the "fog". Read BrainHurts link to the Carrot and a Stick plan.

Sounds like he has an I-Phone...there are some different apps that can be put on his phone. If he syncs his phone up with I-Tunes to do music it also downloads old copies of texts that you can later retrieve with the right software.

I've been right where you are. It sucks.

He does have an iphone I know he removed everything off of it. He is up on all technology thats his thing. I don't know what to get. He never leaves his stuff out. When hes done with his laptop he puts it in his briefcase for work the next morning. I did put a tape recorder in room and hid it. I k now he talks to his sister but problem is I can tell when they are talking about our situation because he starts to talk really quiet and I can't hear what he is saying esp now with air condition on in room. It's just driving me crazy because I dont know if he is in contact with her on computer. Is anyone an expert on the website LINKDIN? Supp he said thats where he found her she popped up on it as a contact

It's like a facebook for professionals. It's just like facebook. He has to accept or send her a friend request.

Did you see the keylogger information I posted to you?

Yes but how would i get that on his computer, when he leaves room he shuts it down and when hes done it goes in his briefcase

Have you been trying to find out who she is? Did you check the information we gave you?

What about when he's asleep?

Does anyone know that if i joined Lindkin website I know i would have to pay to join but what would I see on her profile. Would i see her email address? Would i see her address where she lives also would it show me if my husband has contacted her recently on there. Can you im back and forth on Linkein him and her I mean free. Is it like facebook the way u can send messages back and forth just curious

It's just like Facebook.

No you don't have to pay. Yes they can message back and forth.
What about hiring a Privatest re Investigator PI


Does he have an Iphone? IPhone Help

Do you have her name?

I would get a PI in your shoes. If he's dropping his voice when on the phone, he's wise to the concept of a VAR. iPhones are very tricky and he sounds like a master on the computer. I didnt have any luck on the computer either.

I would still give VARs a try though. Have you got one in his car? Most people feel safe to chat in their car.

Just wait for him to drop his guard. It'll happen. He'll leave his phone unattended after days of hugging it to him like a miser with his gold. He'll leave his email or Facebook open. He'll leave something incriminating in his pocket.

Mine had the computer protected to the hilt, took his phone in the shower, slept with his phone under the pillow....

.... and I caught him within a few days of coming on MB because he left a receipt in his pocket. Few days later he left his phone out next to me because he got drunk. They're dumb.

SMILE. Drop the subject. Be happy and unsuspicious until he drops his guard. If he brings it up just say you want the two of you to spend more time togehter doing fun stuff. Smile brightly when you say this.

But a PI will come up with the goods fastest I bet.

Put a VAR in his car asap. Go to Radio Shack and get one. Or if you don't have the money, or he's watching the credit card,then use an MP3 player. My husband did this with our MP3 and that's how he caught me. Put it on record and tape it under the driver seat.

Have you gone through his laundry ? Look for clues. Smell his shirts for strange perfume. Look for makeup on the collar. Look for hair that doesn't belong to you. Go through his pants pockets. Go through his wallet for receipts. Look at the time and the address on the receipts and do some digging.

I used a prepaid tracfone to carry on my affair. Mine was small, thin and black. Easy to hide--in fact I kept mine hidden in my bra. You get the phone cards at any grocery, drugstore, walmart. Get online and look at your husbands credit card spending. I always used cash though....to not be traced. Does he have a garage trash can, or one in his shed, etc ? I never threw anything away in the home trash. Too risky.

If you still can't come up with anything and you know something is going on, take his photo to the local drugstores where he might buy a phone card. Go to a woman employee (a WOMAN, preferably middle aged) and tell him you are trying to catch your husband cheating on you. Show the photo (find one with your kids in it) and ask them if they remember him buying any phone cards to call his other woman.

Get busy and be smooth. You'll come up with the proof if you dig enough. But don't act suspicious. Act normal. Got it ??

Yes I have her name i seen it on his lindekin account that she visited it. I know it has to be her because she has a unique first name. Problem is when i went to all the sites checking names out I kept coming up empty

try www.intellius.com
do a background check on her to find out if she is married, or other family members names...

if she has a unique name and an online presence, she CAN be found. you need to hop over to the investigate thread and educate yourself about snooping (how to).

CG, i have been exactly where you are. there is no magic wand to fix this. it is very hard work. you've got to take a deep breath and hold still so you can *think.*

you need to start plan a, educate yourself, and track him. once you have the goods, you can move to the next step. post here FIRST! do not confront WH.

deep breaths.

Whatever. Of course he loves you. And he wants you to shut up about his OW.