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MM gave DD head's up about me being on her FB. Dday is today.
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Sorry if I missed it, but can you not call the house? MM might say his wife found out, but I wouldn't be surprised if he intercepted it.
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No. I'm not able to call the house. He keeps the phone.
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Dday will take place when DD gets home.
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So what is your plan, w4?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I've given her my letter to answer by tonight.
She can:
1. cease all contact now and forever with MM and tell me the truth at all times and join me on vacation
2. deny and continue contact with MM and move out by September 01 and MM will have to provide for her with no vacation and notifying relevant agencies of updated status
She's thinking about it.
No word from BW.
I've messaged her all the evidence.
I'll know more later. From now on...no more lies.
No going back now.
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The OM can't provide for her, though. He has a family to support. Does she understand she is an adult and has to take care of herself?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I've given her my letter to answer by tonight.
She can:
1. cease all contact now and forever with MM and tell me the truth at all times and join me on vacation
2. deny and continue contact with MM and move out by September 01 and MM will have to provide for her with no vacation and notifying relevant agencies of updated status
She's thinking about it.
No word from BW.
I've messaged her all the evidence.
I'll know more later. From now on...no more lies.
No going back now. 
Last edited by barbiecat; 07/30/12 05:51 PM.
Me; W 46
Him; H 46
2 girls
DD19
DD16
Dated/Married total 28 years.
..I am learning and working on myself.
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DDay has happened. DD has chosen the MM.
She hardly expressed any emotion. I told her
- not to say much because I can't believe anything that comes out of her mouth.
- how disgusted I was that she would deliberately do this to a sick woman.
- how disappointed that our relationship meant so little to her
- to practice calling herself "the OW" in the mirror because that is what she is now
- she's on her own--I will not support her
- I will not support her with any of this
- MM better be worth it while it lasts--his longest relationship is 3 years.
- to have some self-respect and cover up her body instead of looking like a whore
I've informed
- sent her the What You Will Get If You Marry Your Affair Partner
- my landlord that as of Sep01 DD will no longer be a tenant.
- camp director for our vacation.
I feel sick, disgusted, angry, sad, disappointed, etc. It's done.
Is there anything else, I should do?
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Get ahold of the man's wife!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I posted the dear friends & family request on social media.
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she's on her own--I will not support her Aren't you going to continue supporting her until September? It is fatal to say something that you do not mean. If you have told her that you will not support her, she needs to GET OUT. NOW. TODAY.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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I posted the dear friends & family request on social media. I am not sure what you mean.. Can you be more specific? Do you have a plan to get to the BW today and let her know all this?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Dear friends and family,
I am writing you this message because you are an important person in the lives of *edit* and I. I confirmed recently *edit* is having an affair with a married man, which has shaken my trust in her. She has been carrying *edit* on an affair with man named *edit* who lives with his wife *edit*. She has chosen not to come to camp with me and is moving out by September 01. This separation is so that she can carry on her affair without my interference.
She refuses to end the affair. I want our relationship to recover from this affair. If you have any influence on *edit*, please do what you can to get her to stop this dangerous affair. I want *edit* in my life, but the affair must end.
As our friends and family, I am asking that you use your influence with *edit* to persuade her to end her affair and try to work on our mother/daughter relationship. Our relationship can be salvaged if she would only end the affair. Please support her in doing the right thing. Please support our relationsip.
I would so appreciate your support and prayers.
Take care,
Last edited by MBSeasons; 07/30/12 08:17 PM. Reason: Removing identifying names
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I sent all the affair details to his wife on social media.
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I sent all the affair details to his wife on social media. I understand, but it doesn't sound like she got that message since she has not responded. Does your daughter have access to your computer? She could have easily seen the message and warned the OM to delete your message.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Great letter, by the way!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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p.s. another way to reach the OM's wife is to call or email her family members and ask them to go and tell her. I would not give up until you have spoken to her personally.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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not going to give up
DD has separated computer
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 I would password protect your computer so your DD doesn't get on it and snoop. Do you have the evidence in a safe place she can't access?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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