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Logan: I can't seem to send you a private message. I'm part of the working group with Dr. Bill Bernet to parental alienation included in the DSM-5 and the ICD http://www.who.int/classifications/icd/en/ in 2013. They are also looking for PA stories. If interested please email your story to: *edit*
Last edited by MBSeasons; 09/09/12 08:54 AM. Reason: Posting email addresses is not permitted!
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DD left a message crying that she wants to talk and that she loves me. I've said all I can say for now in writing. I'm thinking of the returning the call to listen.
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No, don't call. Not unless she fulfills your expectations that you set out.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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I second karmasrose's comment. Your DD is trying to break through your No Contact request. She's trying to break you down and knows which emotional buttons to push in order to do that. It appears to be working; you're actually considering listening to her babble. Don't.
Is there someone who can tell her that you wish no contact with her until she agrees to dump loser OM?
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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I've sent another message to friends & family saying I will only have contact with DD WHEN she ends the affair. I understand they want to help but trying to get us together at this stage is not appropriate. What they can do is put pressure on her to end it.
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Your boundaries are firmly in place. Very good. Stick to your guns, Mom.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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DD's phone calls have stopped. Now she's sending me emails which I've deleted unread.
Typical mistress, this is considering a week ago, she never wanted me to contact her again and nothing to do with me. Are you lying or are you lying? The answer is yes.
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"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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DD's phone calls have stopped. Now she's sending me emails which I've deleted unread.
Typical mistress, this is considering a week ago, she never wanted me to contact her again and nothing to do with me. Are you lying or are you lying? The answer is yes. Love your attitude!
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Fully in Plan B. Thank you everyone for your support. HUG
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Just remember, if you need to vent, we're here. If you're thinking of talking to her without proof that she's ended her affair, come here. If I'm not on to listen (I usually am), someone else will be.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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Thanks karmarose. I do find it hard not to call to touch base with her to see how she is. We used to do that every day for the last 2 years.
I don't miss the lies. Here's to MM falling flat on his face really soon.
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I can imagine he will, with your exposure. Even if his BW is not on board with exposing things, you clearly got to a few important people and he knows people will be watching him.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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I really miss DD. How as a parent do you choose not to know where your child is or if they are OK? Her father's done it for 9 month...I'm not him. For a long time I didn't know because the choice was made for me. Not knowing now is going against everything inside me.
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Thanks karmarose. I do find it hard not to call to touch base with her to see how she is. We used to do that every day for the last 2 years.
I don't miss the lies. Here's to MM falling flat on his face really soon. Here's to the A falling flat on its face really soon. Although she is an adult, she's your daughter. She needs your support. She is probably stunned right now that you have taken this approach to her dirty activities- I suspect she assumed you would accept her regardless of what she has done. You have set your bar high and demanded that she respect it - good for you! Good for both of you! 
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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I really miss DD. How as a parent do you choose not to know where your child is or if they are OK? Her father's done it for 9 month...I'm not him. For a long time I didn't know because the choice was made for me. Not knowing now is going against everything inside me. Be at peace, knowing that you are doing the best possible thing for your child. Isn't that what we all want for our kids?
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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You have set your bar high and demanded that she respect it - good for you! Good for both of you! Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever! MB: Did you set your bar high to be better than ever?
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MB: Did you set your bar high to be better than ever? Yes, ma'm, I did. I refused to accept no less. I put that bar up there and he knew I meant business - there was no debate. Get onboard, or GET OUT. He got on board. We're doing great 
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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I'm thinking:
height of the bar = amount of self-esteem
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I'm thinking:
height of the bar = amount of self-esteem No, don't think that way. Think: Here is the bar that I am giving to you. GRAB IT. This has nothing to do with self-esteem. She can reach it if she wants to. It has nothing to do with her self-esteem; it's all about what YOU, her trusted person, requires.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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