That's a great idea. You should both do that.

The program here can show you how to have a good marriage that makes her and you very happy, even if she is not innocent.

If you will read and do what is written on this site, she won't be suffering any more. You can alleviate her suffering if you choose to. What you can't do is demand that she change the way she feels. Only you can do that.

What are you willing to change?

What are you willing to do? Anything? Your current solution (wife needs to stop getting mad and living in the past), isn't working, so what is your Plan B?

Yes, she changed her mind. It's pretty normal. She will probably never be okay with these again, so what are you going to do?

Think of the one thing you absolutely DON'T want her to know.

Being brave enough to reveal that secret is called RADICAL HONESTY.

Women love radically honest men. Brave men. Not little boys with coy secrets. Those boys can only get bimbos.

Read all about Radical Honesty and let the idea sink in!!

Your wife is scared of what you'll do because your secrecy is scary for her.

Your wife is mad because you do things that she is not okay with, and because when she tells she is not okay with you doing those things, you continue to do them anyway.

There! Now you don't have to ask any more!

If you will read and do the things advocated on this website, your wife will not be mad any more. It is entirely up to you. It is not up to her. You are the cause of her feelings.

Here's a tip: staying in contact with this woman did not help your marriage. It hurt it.

Here's another tip: it probably won't help the next time, either.

Here's a cliche, but perhaps you've never heard it, so maybe it could be a tip for you, too: the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results.

I am assuming you are not mentally impaired, and can understand that this will make your wife angry every time you do it.

Stop having conversations about how right they were. Nothing makes a mistake hurt more than explaining your own personal opinion that it really wasn't a mistake.

Read this site (the material written by the expert, Dr. Willard Harley -- the video and links I posted), and do what it says, and this will get better.

Question: are you lazy?

Answer: we'll find out. If you actually read and do what the site says, you're pretty industrious! If you're lazy, we'll know because you won't read or do these things.

We can most certainly promise you get credit for doing the right thing.

But your wife will need RH and proof like a poly. She'll also prob need to see you become an open book in every other area.


Will she post here? We can give her a good outlook for the future if you are fully on board.

If you wait until she leaves it will be almost impossible to win her back. Secrecy makes women very fearful. Most women need honesty to feel safe and bonded.

Right. Nothing will suffice but that you admit you did something wrong. That is what big boys and gurls do.


Because she sees right through it. She can smell your bullsh** a mile off. It isn't even good bs.


You have no idea what will do any good or not. Only SHE can tell you what she needs. Just the fact that you won't do a polygraph is an indicator you are hiding something. You should DEMAND a polygraph to clear your name.


You don't deserve forgiveness. And of course she is bitter after all of your abuse. Forgiveness is not an entitlement program for waywards. You have to EARN it.


If you want to move forward then:

a) change your skanky, immature behavior around women - drop all your OS friends

b) start acting like a big boy

c) offer to pass a polygraph

d) stop being a punk by being thoughtless and cruel and then calling her names ["bitter" "angry" etc] when she objects


You don't deserve any credit for continually and selfishly hurting your wife.

My vote is for separation, though. I don't think this boy is marriage material and will only continue to hurt his wife because of his shocking lack of maturity and empathy.

Sorry pal, but Mel's got your number and she's callin' you out.

I agree with her!!

I wonder if she posts. From MSs description, she's an MBer alright. Maybe she only reads here though.

If so, she's likely read 'when to call it quits' and is probably making her plans to divorce and find someone more respectful of her and less overt and friendly with other women.

Probably sending MS here is a last-ditch attempt before she calls it quits.

If you're reading Mrs MS, please post and let us know you're OK?

We're worried about you. Its not very nice to be called bitter, angry, sick etc when you are simply worried sick about the end of your marriage.

Perhaps we can help, or at least offer support? Hugs.

So, there's this cop, parked in his cruiser in the darkened lot of a roadhouse, waiting to pinch the drunkest patron exitting the joint at closing time, 1:00am.

With ten minutes to go, a fellow staggers out of the front door, misses the bottom step, and tumbles into the bushes. He dusts himself off, and weaves toward his car, burping and singing to himself. As he nears his vehicle, THREE TIMES he drops his keys and loudly curses his fate. The rest of the patrons exit the bar, and call to him, "Joe, are you okay to drive home?"

Answers the cop's target, "Suuure, I'm not drunk, juuuusht tired!" As he finally opens his car door, the other patrons drive off, and the cop waits for Joe to (finally!) start the engine. As he does so, the cop switches on the lights, and roars up to Joe's car. Jumping out, he reaches into the car, turns off the engine, and orders Joe out of the car, and gives him the tester tube to blow into.

Joe's result is a 0.00000 alcohol reading!

Stunned, the cop asks, "Why were you staggering to your car?"

And Joe smiles sweetly, and says, "I'm tonight's designated decoy!"

The way I figure it, this poster is the designated distractor, sent to MB by a consortium of WSs and APs, for the express purpose of tying up the attention of the correspondents, lowering their effectiveness in dealing with other, actual folks looking for counsel and support. Whaddaya think?

This guy is for real sorry to say...........


And his wife is at the end of her rope with the all his "Female Friends" involved the M.



nESRE

WOW. I think you need a tinfoil hat.

I think you are a very self centered person and you have a very uncaring attitude towards your wife.
You would probably do her a favor by just leaving the marriage if you have no intention of listening to her

The affair/s have all ready happened. It will take a little while for the web of lies to crumble the rest of the way but they will. They always do. Especially when the scumbags think they are smarter than everyone else.

You know what real men think of guys like you? We laugh. We laugh because you are a pathetic selfish little loser.

Real men take care of their wives.

Since you all sound like my wife and seem to think there is no other way of interpreting my friendships with other women what do I do.

I have apologized and she says it wasn't a sincere apology.

I have given up alot of friends.

I think I've been trying for the last 6 months. The latest friend who I talked with about the marriage was probably 1.5 years ago.
My wife just found out (there's really nothing to find out)and she is calling it deceit when it was just an omission because it was no big deal. This friend has recently gotten a divorce and my wife now thinks she is too dangerous to have around. I think she a bit too sensitive when she says that this woman and I both deceived her. She says she feels like she's the odd man out. I don't get this. She also seems to think that this "smacks of grooming". As if i spilled a little info to this woman to see if she'd keep my confidence, and so then I'd know I had a place to go for help and comfort when I need it. Doesn't this sound hysterical???

She is spitting mad and moved into the spare bedroom, won't talk to me, and is making such a big deal of nothing. I don't know if I can take it.

I've apologized and I think that should be it. She seems to expect perfection.

Go ahead hit me!

I'm not trying to be mean to you, but are you an only child ? Has life always revolved around you ?

People sense when they are being lied to. Leaving out information (omission) is deceitful and is lying.

No wonder she moved into the spare bedroom and won't talk to you. She doesn't respect you. Why would she ? We don't respect you and we don't even know you.

Your wife has the gift of discernment, sir. Do you have kids ? If you do, you should understand this very well.

I don't think she sounds hysterical. What's hysterical is your comment, "I don't know if I can take it".