Is this a first marriage for you both?

Some suggestions would be to go to your boss and let him know you can't partner up with females because it is so bad for marriage. In the meantime, you could finish your degree or get training in a new field. I would brainstorm solutions with your wife.


And this is a big part of the problem. The people who have affairs are usually the ones who say they will never do it. The reason is because they have poor boundaries around the opposite sex. And working on a project with another woman is such an example. Your wife recogized the risk, but you didn't.


I would think of solutions to this problem and discuss them with her in a respectful way. I would also acknowledge that she was correct in her jealousy.


When I say obvious I mean that I reduce everything to the basics and then address ways; communication, therapy, <open to suggestions> that we can over come the problem.


That will probably kill any chance you have. See, you have destroyed your marriage by putting your wife in a position to have to COMPETE with other women. More of that will not bring her back.

[

thanks again (you are kind of a ninja with this quote thing)

She met this guy after we were officially divorced

The day before and the day after she met him she looked me in the eyes and told me she loved me. A week later she was dating him.

I suspect you will find that she started seeing him much earlier than 'a week later'.

What is your shared parenting agreement like?
When you say the divorce is final, you do mean absolutely final, signed by the Judge. Right?

I hope not

This happens all the time. Have you done a background check on this guy? If not do one just to make sure he has no record and is safe around kids

HDW ~ I have asked my attorney if there is anything we can do and he says not until something goes wrong.

I did nto have to send it to her relatives, they were all so shocked by him even being in the picture they all kind of did their own homework and there are no shortage of people calling him out for not being a good person.

While it sure sounds good to intervene and have him busted, but manipulation to an extent got me in this mess and I do not think it would serve the end goal of getting my wife back.

I understand what your saying though and I am scared to death for her or them to be around this guy.

he has multiple arrest, multiple divorces, a protective order, and a violation of protective order. currently there is an open warrant for a hot check

HDW ~ I have asked my attorney if there is anything we can do and he says not until something goes wrong.

I did nto have to send it to her relatives, they were all so shocked by him even being in the picture they all kind of did their own homework and there are no shortage of people calling him out for not being a good person.

While it sure sounds good to intervene and have him busted, but manipulation to an extent got me in this mess and I do not think it would serve the end goal of getting my wife back.

Three comments and then 3 questions

Your divorced. You don't need an attorneys advice when you do things anonymously. You don't even tell him.

1. What does the word anonymous mean?

2. Are you going to sit on your F-ing hands and let 4 children under the age of 10 be around this POS because of what "my" attorney said?



I understand what your saying though and I am scared to death for her or them to be around this guy.

I don't get that feeling since you are willing to sit on your hands and do nothing for you children. May be too late for your W. Not too late for the children.

You going to do anything for your children???

Who filed for divorce? What exactly did you say to her? What exactly has she asked you to do, and when did she give you the list(per/post divorce, and how long have you had it)? Would you be willing to do a polygraph to reassure her of your fidelity during the marriage? Have there been ANY incidences of infidelity (ea or pa) in your relationship?

nesre ~ I really do not see what options are there? If I get him arrested, he will get out and it will just make him a martyr to her and make things worse? At least with the open warrant hanging over him I do not have to worry about him showing up at ball games or other kid public functions.

I need to do things the right way for the maximum long term protections.

I basically said sure, what ever, you are right. Again all meant in a spitful, smart arsed way, that was charged with defeated emotion. Never should have said it and it was not true.

I was asked to be less angry and yell less. Both of which i am working on diligently through therapy. Altough i have never enjoyed yelling and want to say do not do it unless I need to be louder than others. My voice does boom a little though so I do want to find other ways to handle things.

She has accused me of hiding my phone and asked that I stop. My phone is an open book and she has access to most every email or social web site I have.

Change jobs

Football being less important to me.

The list was provided in July post divorce.

I would take a polygraph.

While I have had amirers I have never sought or returned any affections to anyone else since I met my exwife. That is before, during, or post marriage.

If she gave you that list post divorce then she was willing to reconsider being married to you. Turn the scumbag boyfriend in and start plan A

I hope and pray you are correct.

I am somewhat ashamed to say this but I do not know what you mean when you say plan a