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In a post on another thread, I excerpted the following from the instructions for ranking needs in Dr. Harley's Emotional Needs Questionnaire: The ten basic emotional needs are listed below. There is also space for you to add other emotional needs that you feel are essential to your marital happiness, but are not included in the list. The fact that Dr. Harley allows for additional needs to be listed makes me wonder what are some examples of those other needs. In a later post to the above thread, Optimism writes: If you read the EN questionnaires ..., Dr. H suggests that there is room for making up your own EN(s). However, I don't know why as the ones he starts with seem to me to fit the entire spectrum. I'm curious, has anyone filled out the ENQ and come up with needs other than the 10 on Dr. Harley's list?
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I'm curious, has anyone filled out the ENQ and come up with needs other than the 10 on Dr. Harley's list? Yes, shopping! ![[Linked Image from smileys.smileycentral.com]](http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_27.gif)
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Yes, but in general, Dr. Harley says to focus on the ones he has identified, as most needs fit in these "categories," and some needs are not things people can be easily trained to meet (an example he gives is an emotional need for ambition). And of course he says the main thing to emphasize is the four intimate emotional needs.
We've had some threads on this before and I've posted a couple of radio shows and transcripts, but I'd be a little hard pressed to find them at the moment.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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I'm curious, has anyone filled out the ENQ and come up with needs other than the 10 on Dr. Harley's list? Yes, shopping! Mel you take this stuff so seriously :-)
Last edited by living_well; 11/09/12 10:15 PM.
3 adult children
Divorced - he was a serial adulterer
Now remarried, thank you MB
(formerly lied_to_again)
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I'm curious, has anyone filled out the ENQ and come up with needs other than the 10 on Dr. Harley's list? Yes, shopping! And eating
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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I'm curious, has anyone filled out the ENQ and come up with needs other than the 10 on Dr. Harley's list? Yes, shopping! Mel you take this stuff so seriously :-) I am a serious shopper!! 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Mel, that is as flip as claiming gambling or drinking as an EN. Why would you say that?
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
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Mel, that is as flip as claiming gambling or drinking as an EN. Why would you say that? Hey, I love to shop!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Mel, that is as flip as claiming gambling or drinking as an EN. Why would you say that? Hey, I love to shop! Shopping is RC, surely. And ambition I would class under FS. How long has that quote of mine been in your sig Mel? So flattering!!!
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Mel, that is as flip as claiming gambling or drinking as an EN. Why would you say that? Hey, I love to shop! Shopping is RC, surely. And ambition I would class under FS. How long has that quote of mine been in your sig Mel? So flattering!!! A couple of days. That is the best quote of the year!! 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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