WH claimed my exposure "was not helpful" - this was noted 5 months after exposure.

WH "had to default b/c I delayed selling our assets" - even though they were on the market 2 mths prior to his initial default and he continued defaulting after the sale was finalised. To justify his decision he stated "BW told family she was trying to protect our family's financial security".

DD17 a couple of months ago called WH on his behaviour, OW's behaviour, motives (gold digger) and issued him with an ultimatum -family or OW.

WH replied OW had "done nothing" but lurve him and accept you children.

Seems there is "nothing wrong" with having an A with a married man, encouraging him to abandon his family, OW bad mouthing and lying about a parent to children, encouraging WH to default on mortgage whilst paying all OW's expenses and encouraging WH to spend time with OW instead of his children is "love" and "acceptance of the kids".

I have a few:

"I didn't think you would care"

Our house was burgled and her engagement ring was stolen:

me: I'm so sorry this has happened, what little connection we have left has now dwindled to almost nothing, not to mention something to hand to the kids as an inheritance"

wife: "its ok, its a sign, it was meant to be" and "the diamond was too big to give to our D anyway"

Oh another one:

"I'm doing this for the kids, its best for them that they don't see me having the A in the open"

Can you effing believe it?

"We don't connect anymore, I mean you don't even put xxx next to your name when you sign off a text or email"

The only person who cares for me in the whole world is POSOM - WW

During plan A, "You showing you care for me is making me very uncomfortable."
Excuse me?! Translation: you showing you care is making me feel guilty.
"Let's keep this real that way you won't hurt so much"
Translation: hate me so I can vilify you to our mutual friends.

Bride uttered a statement representing a classic mis-assessment the evening of our first counselling session, although it truly requires my response, I guess, to put it in its proper frame:

Bride: I thought if you ever found out we could talk about it calmly.

NG: ME?? Calmly? What is this, a melodrama? Do I look like Noel Coward or David Eff'ing Niven?

Counselor: Uhhh, maybe we should take a break......

Um.. yeah...Whats in her kool-aid?

My ww has been telling me over an over that it is God's will to be with the OM.

She also invited me to come fishing with them. REALLY?!?

after exposure she said, "any chance you ever had is gone now" LOL, that is one of my favorites.

Also, post exposure, we had this conversation:

WW: "You have no IDEA how mean and nasty these emails are that I'm getting"

Me: "That's upsetting, they should not be mean. I'll tell you what, just send me the 3 meanest emails you got and I will talk to them personally"

WW: "No" <um... did I say mean? what I meant was concerned and truthful>

WH said OW was the only one trying to help our marriage (because she was listening to him complain about our marital problems).

That's a common one hatgrrly and like most mad statements it's true (at the start). The best way to get into an affair is to discuss intimate matters with an OS friend, even if the original intent is to help.

I have actually seen a published book by qualified psychiatrists who RECOMMEND doing this with an OS friend.

I think they said something like clients they were coaching through a divorce frequently told them a 'passionate friendship' helped them through the depression of divorce.

One client was even quoted as saying: "I told my friend I needed to be licked like a weak little kitten and that when my sadness was over I may not need them any more".

I guess you have to be a BS to know that cheating is wrong.

Or a policeman to know not everyone you meet at work can be believed on trust.

I guess there's some things can't be learned from books!

Bump

OMG, Mine said the exact same thing!

And "I've been such a good husband and father (which is true), why are you only focusing on my infedilty?"

She didn't have a clue, I had been recording everything..... Upon exposure of her EA. I quoted their last fb msgs...minutes earlier.
"Whaaa.... You mean that wasn't you I was texting?...Your silly you hacked, his fb and I thought that was you I was talking with..." She then runs to her phone to try and delete the log... I said go ahead. Then tears came.... During discussion... Oh you would be friends with him, if we lived where he lived... Like that was suppose to make me feel better.

JD.
What happened with your marriage?
Did she end the affair?

This happen 14 months ago. Yes, we are surviving.

J.D. please start up a new thread so that others will see your post. You will get more assistance that way.

JD, this isn't her first affair. You were here in 2003 having discovered an affair then. Please start your own thread. She is a serial cheater and you need to take extra-extraordinary precautions against another affair. We focus on these much more today than was done 10 years ago. Please post for advice.

Thanks, for the concern. I can't right at this moment. I will put my story up.

I'm sorry you are going throgh this again J.D.

Crazziest thing my wh said, when asked about how he felt about OW.

"It was a very nice friendship, that was all" ...