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Joined: Jan 2012
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merry christmas, pep. may you have many more happy ones.
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
merry christmas, pep. may you have many more happy ones. Thank you. I am enjoying this Christmas very much. This time last year I was in the hospital. I was discharged right before Christmas. I am so grateful.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,438 Likes: 4
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It will be 17 years in 4 days.
To the currently suffering spouses, there will come a time of healing. No matter what your wayward does, you can/will heal and thrive.
I remember thinking that my life was ruined and I would never allow myself to feel vulnerable again.
I am now vulnerable, and the happier for it.
God's blessings everyone.  Thank you. Merry Christmas to you. 
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,447
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It will be 17 years in 4 days.
To the currently suffering spouses, there will come a time of healing. No matter what your wayward does, you can/will heal and thrive.
I remember thinking that my life was ruined and I would never allow myself to feel vulnerable again.
I am now vulnerable, and the happier for it.
God's blessings everyone. Thank you for the words of wisdom Pep and for the advice, encouragement you offer fellow MBers. Merry Christmas Pep to you and your family.
Me 46yrs
WH 46yrs "Isildur"
Married: 22yrs 8mths
DS 9yrs;DD 19yrs;DS 21yrs
Bomb drop:marriage not working don't know if ILY 12.11.11
DD:26.11.11
WH moves to OW house 28.11.11
Formal MB Plan A 14.4.12
Plan B 27.4.12
D:20.7.14
"There are moments in life that make us & set the course of who we become. Sometimes they're little & subtle,sometimes they're big & we never saw them coming. No one asks for their life to change, but it does. It's what we do afterwards that counts & we find out who we are."
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
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Last Christmas, about a week prior, my wife came home after spending a week at OM house.
I was in plan B but I had to go back to plan A because I couldn't keep her out of the house (contrary to what some post, it is illegal to change locks and just kick a spouse out especially when a judge signs a Restraining Order prohibiting you from doing that).
She came back, said she ended her affair and then OM wife text me on Christmas Eve and said my wife was still in contact with OM. My wife denied it when confronted.
Then her enabling father showed up and helped her buy an affair phone and give her cash.
I had already filed for divorce and her attitude of contrition soon faded into hatred for me.
A few months later the court granted our divorce. For several months, I lived in misery as she would yell and scream and wake me up at all times of the night to "talk," disappear for days at a time and then reappear.
This Christmas, I woke up to my children shouting "Santa came!"
I slept good last night. I want woken up or yelled at or anything like that.
My children are healthier emotionally than last year.
And I am too.
The affair resulted in my foreclosure and bankruptcy.
But through it all, I felt Gods hand.
He protected my children and has given me the tools needed to parent them.
A lesson I learned from AlAnon is that we have no control over other peoples actions. We can only control how we behave and how we allow the actions of others to affect us
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
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I don't expect you for one moment of time, or one iota of degree, to say, "Oh, okay then, it was all worth it!", but it does strike me that without your H's betrayal, and your fight to save your marriage, the "stew" that is the amalgam of the advice available on MB would be much blander without the "pepper" you bring to it. Seventeen years, huh?
(But I must also reveal that I HATED my reaction on reading your sentence - I suddenly "know". - because it slapped me back emotionally to exactly 3.5 years earlier like nothing ever had before, with the nakedness and blatancy of your structure.)
Merry Christmas, esteemed colleague!
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,232
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(But I must also reveal that I HATED my reaction on reading your sentence - I suddenly "know". - because it slapped me back emotionally to exactly 3.5 years earlier like nothing ever had before, with the nakedness and blatancy of your structure.) oh yes.
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,583
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Merry Christmas, Pep, and congratulations on 17 years!!
Happily married to HerPapaBear
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