BTW, I'm not flying for a while until I get thru this. I can't afford to be in the clouds and get distracted.

<~~~ happy dance

Oh, The Early Days. How I hated thee.

If youre a recreational flyer, than perhaps sideline that activity for a spell and get a 'script for something like Ambien. Them little suckers will put you in la la land in no time. I took a half a pill from time to time to take the edge off serious anxiety and to put me to sleep.

A truism in this crappy existence you are mired in is: a remorseful, regretful formerly adulterous wife living to make things right in your world is about as good as things can get for you.

If you are there already, then reciprocate it back. Even though the images and visions still flurry around my head, it get less and less as time goes on. This is a somewhat universal thing. But, it really only happens when she and you are getting the alone time necessary and you are enthousiastically meeting each other's needs.

You are doing real good.

Frustrated!!! The Fire Chief has not had his conversation with OM yet. Apparently, I cannot ask him to do this, WW has to. Thats fine, but I requested this 9 days ago, AND, I asked for a status update 4 days ago and he only now figures this out.

I told him I want action on this by the end of the week or I start legal action against the FD and the town for letting this go on. Not only that, a couple of towns over from us had their Chief and another member arrested for sexual assault on young girls in their Explorers program. I told our Chief 4 days ago that he should be concerned for the dept and not let things go as far as this other town. Apparently, "it cant happen to us" bull$h*! is in play here...

Sorry for ranting.

Do you have a friend who is an attorney? Nothing spooks people more than a threatening letter from a lawyer. If someone will do for nothing, that would be good.

Well done Wow. Does the Fire Chief have a Chief? MB recommends that you expose to ALL the big guys and cc everyone so that it cannot be swept under the rug.

The movie Flight is at redbox now. Saw it last weekend. Scary!!

I'm considering the town manager. The Chief reports to him so that will shake things up a bit.

Yup go to the top compile all the evidence and get an official letter from a lawyer as well. Just to be sure I would send information to the town manager and his superior simultaneously.

Well I've worked with fire departments in my career.
They are like police, they will literally protect and cover up for each other.
You NEED to send certified letter to the fire department trustees.
If the fire department is part of the city (in some states they are not) then sent certified letter to The city council members and mayor.
That will get the city attorney involved and proper procedures will be followed.


Asking the Chief to take action may not be very fruitful

We had a session with our Pastors on Saturday morning. It was fruitful in the sense that I learned a lot more about WW's behavior over the last 20 years. Apparently she has this passive resisitance thing going on where she directly works against me in most things that I want. She also has this attitude that I can never be happy. She thinks that if she does what I want then I'll just want more. With this attitude, she just gives up before doing anything and we get nowhere.

We talked yesterday about how this passive-resistance thing makes me feel like she has been against me from the beginning. I asked her if she ever really loved me or wanted the best for me. It feels like I've been rowing uphill for so long and now I understand why.

She's in the middle of reading SAA but only reads when theres nothing else to do. Does that make sense? I kinda expected her to make the time to get thru it quickly. I still feel lie I'm dragging her through recovery.

Anyway, we have another meeting tonight @ 6:00.

Today also marks the end of the 2nd week since I asked the Fire Chief to meet/discipline his captain POSOM. No word back yet so I'm assuming that meeting hasn't happened. I am now going to the Town Manager to shake things up.

Well I've worked with fire departments in my career.
They are like police, they will literally protect and cover up for each other.
You NEED to send certified letter to the fire department trustees.
If the fire department is part of the city (in some states they are not) then sent certified letter to The city council members and mayor.
That will get the city attorney involved and proper procedures will be followed.


Asking the Chief to take action may not be very fruitful [/quote]


Wow you're doing well but I have to call you out on this after reading your last post. JK gave you the best advice to handle this matter. Get a lawyer to send the certified letter to the town manager and the FD trustees about this issue. You are doing a trickle exposure and allowing all POSOM allies to plug holes with the good ol' boy syndrome. Don't poke holes in the water ballon, blow it the hell up!

I am beginning to feel like I could get a degree in Psychology just from reading these boards. EVERYBODY seems to have some form of 'disorder' to explain their lack of boundaries, inability to tell the truth, etc.

Please recognize that this has NOTHING to do with the reason your wife had an A or with your ability to recover from said A.

It makes perfect sense. It means that she is not committed to recovery. It means that she still has no idea what kind of damage she has caused, and that she is not at all committed to making just compensation to you. I would watch her LIKE A HAWK, she is still very foggy.

Oh, I realise this completely. It is, however, part of the reason our marriage was in the condition it was in before the A.

I know unwritten ... after almost two years on these boards it is the same verbiage, the exact same script, just different actors. Still shocking at how you can predict their exact next move.

Waywards are so predictable .... me me me me me me me me me Blah!! Blah!! Blah!!

I feel like that too as well and only been active on these boards for 6 months. If WS would just look at other people affairs and see that what they are doing is inexcusable and their adulterous relationship isn't some special calling or God at work but a tawdry affair that happens over and over again with the same script. If society would punish adulterers with jail time America would be a better place as well. Adultery is more damaging than most crimes in the USA. I seen someone liken the pain equal or greater than a loss of a child. I agree and I am done ranting.

Actually, it wasn't her that brought it up. It was our Pastor. He's trying to find some of the root causes of the marital problems that we've had for so long. He's repeated several times that the A was her choice and not caused by anything else.

Question, If I go back to school for an psychology degree, can I get credit for life experience? If so, then by the time this is over, they could just hand me the degree.

I have a meeting with the Fire Chief today at 4:15.

How'd it go? Don't stop there either please follow my advice and JK's go to the top!