This is very normal for a woman to feel who is not in love. I have felt the same about Markos. The sexual attraction comes later, when she is in love.

The plan in the article is to combine sex with a 3-4 hour date. How do you feel about trying that? How does your wife feel about trying that?

That's what we do most every Saturday.

The plan in the article is to do this several times per week. How do you feel about that? Sex only once a week doesn't sound like enough, for my personal tastes.

OK I'm calmer now. The last time I mentioned 4 dates including SF, she laughed in my face and said "I don't know anybody who has sex four times a week."

But then again, people who follow MB principles are probably in the minority so that's not surprising.

So I will try again. I'm going to bring it up in a non-threatening manner tonight. I'll let you know how it goes.

She does now

Sounds good.

STAY CALM! You may be surprised to discover that's more important than anything!

She does now!!

Two people!

I took the day off from work yesterday and stayed home. I needed that day off.

I brought up the article "Question of the ages" and we read it together. We then discussed maybe changing our schedule around to accommodate what the article suggests. At least I didn't get laughed at this time! I was really taken aback that she didn't respond that we don't have enough money for that as that is the usual response.

We didn't get into it too deep though. I'm going to bring it back up tonight again since we have both had a day to think about it.

Progress!

I spent a good hour at work today trying to find this. I was unsuccessful, but I did find some other good stuff. It's hard not to click on something that looks interesting.

lol, I know the feeling!

Well, I got her to agree to a date tonight in addition to our date Saturday. The babysitter is coming for three hours from 6-9 PM. I have been bringing up the need to switch up our schedule of dates because the UA hours we spend at home in the evening are just not getting the job done.

It was a weird conversation though. She was not enthusiastic about it but tried to hide that from me at first. When I pressed her a little, she admitted that it was the money that she didn't want to spend. I tried my best to POJA the idea with her but she would not really negotiate with me on it. It want back to "I'm just trying to make you happy". Kind of like, just "just leave it alone and I'll go." Didn't leave me with a good feeling.

I don't know how to feel about it to be honest. I know this is something we need to do. (Switch to doing 3 or 4 date nights a week). She seems to think it is an OK idea when we are just discussing it in general, but when it comes down to actually scheduling it, she resists the idea.

What's the rule here? Should I just "do nothing". In other words, don't go on the dates unless she is in agreement? Go anyway, hoping the dates themselves will turn things around? I'm conflicted.

You guys should go on a date anyway but find something low-cost to do.

Without her posting, it is hard to figure out her reluctance. She may be in withdrawal from you, in which case you should just be the best husband you can be without expectations. Hopefully, it will make lovebank deposits and turn her feelings around.

If a wife refuses to do a full schedule of dates for the week, then I would be constantly trying to plan the next date and make them frequent. And make yourself ultra fun guy the rest of the time, so as to make love bank deposits. The higher you raise your balance in her love bank, the more interested she will be in getting off to be alone with you.

Address her complaint about the money: find a way to fit affordable activities into the budget. For that matter, find a way to bring in extra money, if possible.

(And if you find a way to make a million dollars out of nothing, please share!)

Well, what we are doing on the actual date is very low cost. We are going out to a place that has free live music on Thursdays. We might buy a drink or something. The main cost is the babysitter but even that is only $30.

This is very important.
Don't be the husband that comes home and disappears to his "man cave." Be attentive and flirty to her, talk with her and the kids, spend the time with her and the kids, work on projects that she would like done, etc. Be the fun guy to be around.

Is there a good fun drive involved?

Also, are you showing some good attention to family commitment time? Getting the whole family together is often a wonderful way to make moderate love bank deposits for most women. Better than doing the dishes, not quite as good as a fantastic date. But getting all the needs met adequately has a multiplying effect.