Well...

I cracked my wife's password to her work email. I can now check it through the web version. It's that outlook web app. Any suggestions on how best to search through this and what to do? I'd like to search it to find evidence but not use keywords that'll make it get IT audited if need be.

Amibetrayed,

Well for the desktop version of outlook, you can export a Outlook.pst file that has everything or a delimited text file. Then import the text file into excel, or import the pst file into a local copy of outlook.

God Bless
Gamma

I already found a picture of her and coworker riding an elephant together that he sent her. The body of the message said "Just in case you want to show the boys" meaning our kids. She never sent this along...

You can't export them to .pst from outlook web that I can tell.

Her deleted items go back about 2 years. I searched everything with OM's name in it. So I saw everything deleted that he was CC'd on or sent etc. I could see what he sent directly to her also.

Did the same thing for Inbox. Went all the way through 2011 reading and such. The only thing suspect is the email with the elephant picture.


The fact that she didn't share that with us is a red flag. She was specifically asked about elephant pictures a few times. I'll likely check the sent items next and ask her about elephant pictures again.

I can't reveal that I'm into her work email yet though. Saved the picture to my HD.

Nothing incriminating in sent items. Voice Mails to her work phone are also sent to her email as .wav files. Looked through those as well. Listened to several of interest. Nothing incriminating.

I'll have to try and discover if their work IM service saves conversations and work on that next.

I also got access to her calendar through this. Reviewed it from August 2012 to current. Chose key times in the past where I thought she was not telling the truth and going out to see OM. Her cover stories for these items fit. Doesn't mean she went to them, but the cover story events are on the calendar for the appropriate times.

I feel for you amIbetrayed. You situation closely mirrors mine. I'm two or three years out from you though. I was never able to prove anything, although I believe something happened. I'll let you know that it doesn't go away. I still think about it daily.

I guess the good news is that my wife has changed her behavior and is treating me much better. It still sucks though.

Keep snooping. Does your wife carry a large purse? Maybe you can purchase a small VAR and see if you can catch something.

I still think you need to contact OMW. Just express your concern over their closeness. Let her know about the picture. She may have additional information. At least plant the seed of worry in OMW.

I'm putting a lot of thought into contacting OMW. That isn't something to be done lightly or without thorough preparation.

She doesn't have a large purse. She also keeps her purse with her at the office. All the voices and noises would likely make it run constantly and be difficult to manage even if I planted one.


I'll stealthily get a paternity test once the child is born. If the child is mine and things have changed or improved, then I might just have to accept that I won't catch her this time...

Insisting on the polygraph after the child's birth and postpartum period is going to potentially have to be it should all efforts fail to get any evidence.

I agree is is not something to be done lightly. I'll let more experienced posters jump in, but in my opinion you should contact her as soon as possible.

In my case, when I talked to OMW she seemed genuinely surprised at my allegations. She was polite and thanked me for contacting her. She never made any other contact with me, although I do see her once or twice a year at my wife's company events. It did have an effect. OM no longer hangs around my W (at least when I am around) at these events. Before that, they were work buddies that always hung out together at these events.

Exactly. The key here is to present yourself as the concerned and loving husband...because OM first defense will be that it was nothing and you are just a jealous husband. You have to show OMW that you are a reasonable person.

If my own H was riding on the same camel as a female coworker, I would want to know about it. It is possible that OMW has also seen the picture and was gaslighted into thinking it was nothing. I would appreciate knowing that the other spouse was uncomfortable with the relationship.


Just be cool and calm. Many betrayed spouses will defend their spouse until they start to put the pieces together. Just be prepared for that possibility and express your concerns. Who was taking the pictures?


OMW is your extra set of eyes. She could possibly be your biggest ally. Make her feel safe in contacting you if she sees anything else inappropriate.

I don't know who was taking the pictures. The group that went was 8 people. 3 women and 5 men.

One of the other folks took the pictures of them on the camel and on the elephant. Certain parts of the trip have very few pictures in her camera.

There were people from the San Francisco office there that went with them basically. 8 folks from the company that were Americans and vacationing all went to the Taj. My wife and coworker did everything together... from elephants to camels. I just wish I could prove whether or not they also shared a hotel room.

My wife has told me she stayed with one of the women named C******. She doesn't have a single picture of C******* in that camera though.

Can you find C******* on FB and see if she mentioned anything about her roommate or has other photos?

I know you think you don't have enough evidence. But please remember that you have expressed your concerns with your wife's behavior with OM. She ignored your concerns and spent an entire month hanging out with him. You have evidence that they shared the camel ride. Why would they ride on the same one? If she didn't care about him, why would she risk upsetting you by riding on the animal together? Why not ride on separate camels? You know the reason. She wanted to be close to him. She wanted an excuse to put her arms around him. I don't think you need any more evidence to contact OMW. You have enough to express your concern to her and ask her to keep her eyes open for anything on her side.

Amibetrayed,

I don't know who was taking the pictures. The group that went was 8 people. 3 women and 5 men.

Ok so if there were 5 guys there, why were the intimate photos all with OM?

God Bless
Gamma

There were a few photos here and there where other participants are in them. The vast majority were of scenery. Plenty with OM, but there is also the issue that I believe there are photos missing since the filenames on the SD card tend to be named IMG_### in order of taking and the numbers skip at spots.

Did you ask her about the gaps?

amibetrayed,

did you try using undelete software on the SD drive?

God Bless
Gamma

She said she didn't delete things and can't explain the gaps.

I'll look and see about undelete now.

Also know as file recovery software

I recovered the pictures. There was nothing incriminating there. Oddly, there is a picture of the woman that I am pretty sure is C******* on there. The deleted pictures also oddly contain some of the best pictures she took of the Taj, its surrounding area, and the landmarks.

Wonder why she'd delete those. There was not a single picture of OM on there. Nor any of her either in the deleted content.

Ami,

For the record and to help other posters which undelete program did you use.

Perhaps her female roommate is the affair partner hence the deletion of her photo?

God Bless
Gamma