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Re: Hubby Unhappy & In Lust with 22 year old
Debra_2 #2747181 08/03/13 04:03 PM
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
New York
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NeverGuessed Offline
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NeverGuessed
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Can someone offer support and assistance without making me feel like the lowest piece of pond scum on this board...

You're somewhat caught in a snare of your own making, friend. The (only) "support and assistance" that is going to be found here is very much similar (if not identical) to that previously provided - that you chose to reject.

As many times as you ask, that same content, possibly packaged or positioned differently, is going to be offered. Our goal is not to berate you, or beat you down with our adamant advocacy of what is in effect the MB Program. It is entirely to reinforce that the elements we recommend are, in concert, the best (only?) way to extract you from what even you can now see is an unacceptable marital existence.

As an aside: The best way to deal with "pond scum on a board" is to remove it from the festering swamp in which it lies. Let us help you out, kiddo. Stop saying. "No!" and start asking, "How?"
Re: Hubby Unhappy & In Lust with 22 year old
NeverGuessed #2747215 08/03/13 08:14 PM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440
Likes: 4
Moved to Uranus
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BrainHurts Offline
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BrainHurts
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440
Likes: 4
Moved to Uranus

FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
Re: Hubby Unhappy & In Lust with 22 year old
Debra_2 #2747218 08/03/13 08:31 PM
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
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maritalbliss Offline
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Quote
My hubby and I ordered all the materials from the Marriage Builders website. Those materials are sitting in a drawer.
Mistake No. 1.

Quote
My hubby acted like a spoiled brat, having temper tantrums over nonsense. He was smashing things and scaring me. I kicked him of the house.
Because of Mistake No. 1. He never ended the affair and/or you never addressed the issues that caused the affair in the first place. Am I wrong?

Quote
We were separated for several weeks and reconciled in March.
I think it would be more accurate to say that you kicked him out and then took him back. You didn't "reconcile'. You just took him back. Hence your continued problems. Nothing was changed.

So you continue to allow him to abuse your marriage by spending no time with you, drinking with young women and buddies, and who knows what else.

Quote
It has been difficult to restore intimacy. My hubby doesn't pressure me, but I know he's not happy that we're not the way we used to be when we first met and fell in love.
It is difficult to restore intimacy when your husband is out drinking and is spending next to no time with you. That wasn't how it was when you first met and fell in love, correct? If you want to rebuild your marriage, that will need to change.

Have you considered Plan B?

D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

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