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Joined: Aug 2013
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Prior to my husbands deployment I discovered he had an emotional affair with a co-worker. Only to leave a week later for 7 months. After a couple months into his return I learned he had had multiple affairs one with my best friend and he still had feelings for his co-worker.

Tonight he told me he was leaving and had chosen to leave me for his co-worker. I was not surprised however I was devastated. After we ate dinner in silence and he put our 4 yr old to bed he left with bags in hand.

He told me he is so sorry for hurting me and believes I don't deserve him. That we have far too much baggage and he wants a fresh start.

I'm terrified, mad, hurt and most of all...I feel I worked so hard for the 10 years of our relationship only for him to give up so suddenly. I would gladly take him back. I have begged for counseling. I purchased His Needs and Her Needs and Love Busters. All to never be opened.

What do I do!?

Joined: Nov 2010
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Originally Posted By: scalaniz1980
Prior to my husbands deployment I discovered he had an emotional affair with a co-worker. Only to leave a week later for 7 months. After a couple months into his return I learned he had had multiple affairs one with my best friend and he still had feelings for his co-worker.

Tonight he told me he was leaving and had chosen to leave me for his co-worker. I was not surprised however I was devastated. After we ate dinner in silence and he put our 4 yr old to bed he left with bags in hand.

He told me he is so sorry for hurting me and believes I don't deserve him. That we have far too much baggage and he wants a fresh start.

I'm terrified, mad, hurt and most of all...I feel I worked so hard for the 10 years of our relationship only for him to give up so suddenly. I would gladly take him back. I have begged for counseling. I purchased His Needs and Her Needs and Love Busters. All to never be opened.

What do I do!?

Welcome to MB and so sorry for your pain.

Have you exposed this? Were any of the OW in the military?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Dec 2010
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Get the book "Surviving an Affair" by Dr. Harley as soon as possible and follow the steps. It will be your best chance at saving your marriage.

This should be exposed to the leaders in your H's chain of command. The military is very concerned about the state of marriages in their ranks.

Also, do you have a chaplain? Some of them have been working with Dr. Harley on saving marriages and could be a great support.

Read this thread about exposure: Exposure 101

You should ask the mods to move your thread to the Surviving an Affair forum. You will get a lot of help there.


Married 1980
DDay Nov 2010

Recovered thanks to Marriage Builders

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