GentlemanX (I know that was sarcasm you used to choose that screen name, right?), your original melodramatic post reads like the script of a Barney the Purple Dinosaur episode and is very hard to follow. Since mostly adults frequent this site, I thought I�d help out and translate. Though you may not like the way it turned out, you need to steel yourself and read every word, because it is how an ADULT in your situation should be thinking:

�I killed off my family and fear it will never live again. It used to be the part of me that made me useful as a husband and father. Once I killed off this part of me, my own selfish gratification was all I lived for.

Lust, disguised as love, has been a big force in my life this last year. I immersed myself in this lust, and enjoyed every second of it. Every kiss, thought, touch and smile brought me personal gratification. Whether it was wrong or right I did not and do not care, because it made ME feel good. I believe that wherever there is love there can only be good. It�s also important to point out that I believe in the Easter Bunny, that Elvis is alive and well living in a small fishing village in Nova Scotia, and that �Bambi� is a documentary.

I prioritized my lust over everything else. Over my job, my friends, and especially my family. I pretended to look after my family, but not with my heart, because my heart was following my penis the way hounds slather after a [censored] in heat. I chose to place my penis elsewhere, because it made ME feel good.

It is all-too common to find louses that follow the lust in their hearts. It is a real and common problem in our society. And in that lies the tragedy, because real and common problems like this can only take root when people like me disregard all responsibility toward those who depend on me and decide to destroy everyone�s life so I can seek personal, lustful gratification. These real and common problems last because people like me constantly feed them. And today, my lust partner begins yet another life of lies and deceit. And I must let her go do it, because I�m way too much of a coward to be held accountable for what we�ve done.

Not a day has gone by over the last year and a half, where I have not pursued my lustful gratification at the expense of my family and loved ones. One, I wished for this to last forever. And two, I wondered how this will end. Would it end with a bang, or a whimper? Would we continue to wallow in our own filth, or be able to sneak back to our lives and infect everyone else? Today I have my answer: truly, when you lie with dogs, you rise with fleas.

Today, I am no more the wiser, because I cling to the fantasy. To date, I refuse to acknowledge that giving myself over to a lust as strong as mine has destroyed my manhood and my family. Today also makes me confront some truths. It makes me confront the fact that I can never be happy at 'home' when I take what I promised to my wife and give it to someone else. I need to do something about that now-I can't ignore it any longer. This past year I have been so immersed in animalistic lust that I have been able to ignore what I�ve been doing to myself and my family. But now that my lust partner is gone, I am left with some questions I should have confronted a long time ago. Such as, why was I unhappy, can I fix it and be happy again, or must I leave. These are questions I don't know the answers to. But I must find them. I must use the time I will now have on my hands to find these answers. Luckily, I stumbled onto the Marriage Builders� web site, which will help me find these answers.

So what does it feel like to be a man-whore whose lust partner is marrying another man today? Let me explain. The first strong feeling is foolishness. I feel like a fool for behaving like a pig. And I think she is a fool for dumping me. But that is just ego, which is par for the course, because shamelessly feeding my ego has been my life�s passion for the last year or so.

The next emotion is strong and profound sorrow. Stronger than the death of a loved one. Stronger than a breakup. Stronger than watching a loved one make a mistake that you know is going to hurt you. This sorrow I feel is stronger than all those things because it is a combination of all those things in one. It is the realization that 1) I killed my marriage, 2) my floozy broke up with me because she knows she could never have a life with a liar who would throw away his family for a little strange, and 3) I feel she is making a mistake because I don�t want to stop tapping that strange. The humiliation of being dumped by a fellow adulterer is harder than anything I have ever felt. It is paralyzing. No honor among thieves, I guess. At least with death there is closure. With this there is no closure. It is always around, torturing and tormenting me, reminding me that the eternity of cake-eating I wanted will never happen. Utter hopelessness awaits those who live their lives in fantasy land.

Time time time. It is my best friend because it lets me continue to avoid responsibility. But my worst enemy, because it ran out when floozy dumped me. After all, to a man who avoids all vestiges of maturity, �time, time, time,� over which I have no control, sounds so much less daunting than �do, do, do,� which is how real men in the real world behave.

I can't cry just yet, but when I do, I hope it�s tears for the destruction I�ve wrought on everyone around me. That will, at least, give me some indication that I�m starting to rejoin humanity. Who knows-the tears may never come, because some people just never get it. The part of me that was alive, my family, is now dead. And I�m the one that killed it.

And somewhere in that lies the truth I must find if I ever hope to have any relief.�

OldWarHorse,

Thank you for the translation. That was easier to read.

X100

Yes she does. And if she has stuck around while you have been so studiously and neglectfully ignoring her she is a heroine.

What a disgraceful excuse for a human being. Promising forever with her face and texting behind her back.

I don't think you planned on becoming this person, did you?

And the sounds of silence.

I stand by my reflection that whenever someone uses the word "heartfelt", it usually isn't.

Mmmm a little bit like "trust me" and "with all due respect".

I've been thinking about this poor man's wife and family all day.

While they suffer, he's in love with an illusion and totally self obsessed.

It didn't go so well for Narcissus and this guy will find that out.

I think its totally obvious to us that GX and the corpsebride will be back in the pigpen before too long and determined to learn the hard way just how much pain they can cause.

IG,

I hope this OMGF screws up really quickly so her new husband can get a fast annulment, after beating some sense into this least gentlemanly POSOM.

God Bless
Gamma

Gamma,

This guy intruded on a marriage that hadn't even occurred yet (even tho engagement to be married is also sacred)! But, he's most likely flown away because he didn't get sympathetic discussion. His moniker was wrong tho - should have been after the recent film 'DespicableMe2'.

Tom