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Joined: Nov 2011
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Originally Posted By: markos
Originally Posted By: jtp72
Moreover, my initial post concerns the overwhelming urge to visit pain/suffering upon these dirt-bag OM in light of the pain/suffering they've caused me. I'll be dealing with the images and turmoil for the foreseeable future. How can I allow such violations to go unanswered?..


We all have instincts and desires in life that are best left unacted upon. I would suggest that this is one. If you do anything to him, you will only increase your resentment. Plus you run the risk of facing legal consequences. And if you are wanting to recover your marriage, this will probably eliminate your chances.

I suggest you become familiar with the plan Dr. Harley describes for recovery. He has seen this work for thousands of couples. My suggestion is that you try following the steps he suggests - and after you've been doing that for awhile, then see how you feel.

If your wife continues to see the OM and continues to work this job, I am certain that you are going to continue to feel bad. And even if you retaliate against the other man, you will continue to feel bad. Our goal here is to help you achieve happiness in life - that's going to be part of recovery for you.

If you follow your feelings and instincts, like most people you'll find that your feelings and instincts are very good at thinking logically about your long term welfare. We want to help you think logically and strategically so that you can build a happy life and recover from the trauma you have been through.



This is the most logical plan to follow.
Ideally, you would have the right to beat the OM with a baseball bat but unfortunately adultery is encouraged in society.

If AlQaeda ever wins the war and converts Europe and America to Islam by force, the one benefit is that then you WILL have the right to kill the SOB

Joined: May 2013
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JTP, I am in a very similar situation as you in that I have intense feelings of anger towards the OM. While I was and am very upset with my FWW, most of my anger and rage has been directed towards to OM. We are well on our way to R and doing very well but it is still a very sore topic for me and one that is hard to deal with. Fortunately for me, the OM is 3000 miles away so I do not have to see him. But, like you, I feel that justice has to be served one way or the other in my mind as he disrespected me personally. But I see no way justice will ever be served and I guess one day I will just have to accept the fact that there is nothing I can do about it. This is where I am presently hung up in my personal R and it is extremely frustrating for me. I would like nothing better than to confront him man to man but know that this is impossible due to the distance. I would love to have some advice as well on how to deal with and dispose of these feelings of hatred. I know it is not healthy but it is what it is. To me, it was an honor offense of the highest order possible.

In your case, as others have mentioned, I would have your wife leave her job today. Period. And then figure out how to deal with your vengeful thoughts.


Me BH
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In the end, Jesus is the Judge of the world and all will face justice

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jtp

My wife's OM was a martial arts expert. This killed my pride. I waited for him on the carpark out back of his gym and beat the snot out of him with a cable hose.

You know what ? He looked up at me through his own blood and said "now please leave me alone to my family".

He took his licks, and never reported me. He gave me a reason to respect him which was a very sore outcome for me.

I can't say I regret it, but if i'd been imprisoned as a result I might have looked upon it even less positively.

My exposure laid him much lower than my cable hose did.


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