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Last edited by Denali; 02/23/14 01:59 PM. Reason: adding radio links
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I missed the radio show.
Did Harley encourage people to use it?
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There is a companion website: www.hesahomewrecker.com
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I've seen it 
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I missed the radio show.
Did Harley encourage people to use it? I just caught the tail end of his comments but the general gist was that he felt it was a great idea to publicize the names of infidels. He said that when they publicized the names of "johns" in areas that had prostitution, the prostitution went way down.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Great counterweight to some of the cheater type sites, which I won't mention
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I missed the radio show.
Did Harley encourage people to use it? I just caught the tail end of his comments but the general gist was that he felt it was a great idea to publicize the names of infidels. He said that when they publicized the names of "johns" in areas that had prostitution, the prostitution went way down. I used to live in Portland, Oregon and the prostitution got so bad the city started publishing the names of men arrested in the "prostitute free zones" and began to immediately impound their vehicles for sale. I think it made a difference
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Somebody had a letter read on the radio show today, about this site. Somehow, this writer got the bizarre idea that the point of this site was to lay all of the blame for infidelity on women.
Of course, that couldn't be further from the truth. The point is to expose infidelity! Nobody, least of all Dr. Harley, is saying that the blame should all be laid at the feet of cheating women. I'm sorry that the writer has probably encountered such an attitude before, somewhere, but that's no reason to read it into other situations like this.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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The fact is, there is a companion site: www.hesahomewrecker.com. So they are apparently trying to offer means to expose both men and women that cheat
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Somebody had a letter read on the radio show today, about this site. Somehow, this writer got the bizarre idea that the point of this site was to lay all of the blame for infidelity on women.
Of course, that couldn't be further from the truth. The point is to expose infidelity! Nobody, least of all Dr. Harley, is saying that the blame should all be laid at the feet of cheating women. I'm sorry that the writer has probably encountered such an attitude before, somewhere, but that's no reason to read it into other situations like this. I just listened to the show. He discussed this website quite a bit and it is worth listening to if anyone is interested. Broadcast date 1-29-14
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Ohhh brainy girl...can you post link when you get a chance?
Thanks
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Somebody had a letter read on the radio show today, about this site. Somehow, this writer got the bizarre idea that the point of this site was to lay all of the blame for infidelity on women.
Of course, that couldn't be further from the truth. The point is to expose infidelity! Nobody, least of all Dr. Harley, is saying that the blame should all be laid at the feet of cheating women. I'm sorry that the writer has probably encountered such an attitude before, somewhere, but that's no reason to read it into other situations like this. I found it very, very interesting that the writer thought Dr Harley should focus on the "pain" felt by the OW or OM.  Wonder who would ever be worried about that??  Dr. Harley said something along the lines that they knew what they are getting into when they embarked on the affair so he doesn't' have much sympathy. I made some notes: The writer of the email: "I understand the BW is hurt terribly, but so is the OW who is left alone and hurt when the affair ends!"  "Why is the WH left alone when he is actually the one cheating?!" Who thinks like except the actual OW?  Dr H addressed her comments with: "That has a been brought to my attention on numerous occasions. They want me to write something in Surviving an Affair that will help the other person. My argument has always been that it is a life lesson to be learned. When you have an affair with someone who is married the chances of it working out is extremely small." "If I ran that website, I would tell them if they want to get off this website, I would insist on them giving me evidence they had repented" 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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There are a few hos living near me. Mental notes taken...should I run into any of them!! 
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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A similar registration database for cheaters: www.Cheaterville.com
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I follow the Homewrecker site on FB and some of their posts are sad. The website is useful, but the FB not so much.
Me: 30
Him: 39
Together 5 years
Married the very best man in the world 04/06/2013 after being common law for too long. I'm a lucky woman.
7 Cats - Viscount Ashley of Leftfield, Pawkie Petunia, The Timinator, Leo the Lionheart, Fruit Snack, Cloud, and Barret
And our very lucky pony, Starbucks
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I follow the Homewrecker site on FB and some of their posts are sad. The website is useful, but the FB not so much. Very true, a lot of the comments make the BS feel bad about taking the wayward back. But they are under the delusion that everything is swept under the rug. If they only knew the real work and how much harder recovery is than just walking away, they wouldn't say such things.
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I'm wondering who exposes on these sites. I think it makes sense for a BS to use the site. A stranger or some person down the road who doesn't even know the couple? Yeah, that's getting into.......interesting territory. Although I know a few people who could have a whole new hobby with this site
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A stranger or some person down the road who doesn't even know the couple?
Yeah, that's getting into.......interesting territory. I agree. I looked at it and got the impression they only published stories that came from the betrayed wife. Have no idea how they verify that, but if you look at their application, they do ask for your full name. From the application screen: PLEASE REMEMBER ONCE A POST IS UP, IT STAYS UP! CONSIDER THIS BEFORE SUBMITTING YOUR STORY.
Please be as detailed as possible when it comes to your story. Stories with little information do not get as many responses that detailed stories do! Don�t forget to include photos!
Also, we will not publish stories that we feel are not relevant to the website. This is shesahomewrecker.com where the betrayed woman exposes the other woman who became involved with her husband/boyfriend. We will not expose general stories about your boss, or co-worker if it did not affect you personally.
Homewrecker submissions are posted in the order they are received. Please allow a few weeks for your submission to be published! Also be sure to submit using a valid email address just in case we need to contact you for any further information!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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A stranger or some person down the road who doesn't even know the couple? I think it's highly overdue. Of course the website needs to be responsibile about validating with proper evidence but I should imagine the danger of being sued means they would be. I work as a reporter and every day I expose the bad behaviour of criminals and fraudsters online and in the newspaper. I suppose this is why I find hesitancy about exposure a bit mystifying because I do it all the time. If you live in my newspatch and want to know who the wrongdoers are in your neighbourhood all you have to do is Google or read the news. Except for infidelity. A misdeed that does truly cause a whole lot more pain for a victim than a burglary or a financial con. Strangers hear about their misdeeds - so why not this? I think it is highly laudable that this site is using the right to tell the truth to carry out naming and shaming in this way. Think of all the repentance they will inspire and the single men and women who will avoid dating known cheaters. I agree. I looked at it and got the impression they only published stories that came from the betrayed wife. This too seems sensible. It is their ox being gored, so their decision. "If I ran that website, I would tell them if they want to get off this website, I would insist on them giving me evidence they had repented" Lol. Sounds like an OW got a bit embarrassed. Too bad, so sad.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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I'm a FWW, and when I saw this I quickly went and made sure I wasn't listed. I have repented (my affair was years ago), and everyone in my personal life knows what I did. I also tell anyone I seriously date, because I believe it's important information that a potential spouse should know about me.
However, this site scares me: if I were up there, and people from work saw me, it could ruin my career - even though it was years ago and I've made many changes in my life since. I'm not a public figure: just a single mom doing the best she can for her children. But I'd hate to lose my job because my xH feels I should be punished even more for what I did.
So, as a former Wayward, I guess I don't have the sense of rejoicing over this website that a Betrayed might have. I suppose that's the point: to scare people into behaving and punish them when they misbehave. I dunno: I feel like I've suffered enough - but maybe a Betrayed would disagree.
"When you love someone, all your saved up wishes start coming out."
Elizabeth Bowen
(Changed my profile name, as it was appearing in Google searches. Yikes!)
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