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Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
I can only tell you that for whatever reason this whole thing began on 2/13/2014 with my wife filing for divorce, I have beengoing to church and praying daily, I have know idea why I have become so calm. The only explenation is God has been carrying me through this.


You are doing a great job fighting against the work of satan himself.


D-Day 1 - May 4, 2012

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The Bible promises that God will give us peace that surpasses all understanding.
But the Church is a partner in your marriage, it is a Sacrament so you need to contact your Priest and let him know what is going on.

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You forget, I'm the guy you call when crap hits the fan and when everyone else is running out, I'm the one running right into the gunfire or whatever it might be. I'm a bit insulted that someone would think I'm leaving something out. I have been nothing but honest. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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[quote=Jedi_Knight]The Bible promises that God will give us peace that surpasses all understanding.
But the Church is a partner in your marriage, it is a Sacrament so you need to contact your Priest and let him know what is going on. [/quote

I did that and I have talked to the priest who married us. He wants to see us both.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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Did he (Priest) say he will contact your wife?

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I apologize to everyone for going off like this. I have taken in so much the past month and I have no idea why this is happening to me. I'm exhausted, but I continue to fight for my marriage and family.

Last edited by wifedivorcing; 04/08/14 10:37 PM.

ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
Did he (Priest) say he will contact your wife?

Yes, My wife had to see him for SS private school application.
I will call him back tomorrow to see when he can see us both.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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Dude! Can't just sit on the sidelines any longer....WD, no one is coming here to insult you, only give you encouragement and advice the best they can. They are taking time out if their lives to Help you the best they can.

Forget the fantasy, there will be NO financial compensation for your right violation / mental evaluation - right or wrong there obviously was a reason for this police action, although it seems odd that 30 hours passed before time even started.

There are documented statements about you. There are R.O.s coming your way, believe it. There have been actions you have taken that are extreme, and may be viewed not so well by authorities.

What Tom, Jedi and others are saying to you is this: take a breath, evaluate. Call Dr. H, your priest, definitely an attorney (sakes) and initiate Internal Affairs report of this.

What does not make sense at this time is your extreme pursuit of your WW - hours after she lied and got you committed, while still being an active and unrepentant adulterer! You have ZERO proof that she is genuine. You have ZERO proof she is not setting you up for a bigger fall.

She has not even admitted, nor apologized for her A! She is still blaming you for her problems. She obviously is not above lying to hurt you. She is not, at this time a force for good for you.

At this time, VAR is probably not enough to protect you if there are more than one person who claims you are making threats. You know as well as I VR are not submit-able due to editing / erasing.

You seem ready to blame ExW for this, not so fast...
In her current state, your foggy, desperate, humiliated, angry and selfish WW is as dangerous to you as a viper. Just as unpredictable and venomous. You have two children depending on you, you can not afford another mishap.

Please stop trying to woo this woman and take proper action to protect your son and yourself. This seems like a "run of the mill" A, but this is not "run if the mill" consequences.
Please email Dr. H before you confirm your plan.


Me; W 46
Him; H 46

2 girls
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DD16
Dated/Married total 28 years.
..I am learning and working on myself.
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Originally Posted by barbiecat
She has not even admitted, nor apologized for her A! She is still blaming you for her problems. She obviously is not above lying to hurt you. She is not, at this time a force for good for you.

According to DR. Harley, most cheating wives do NOT apologize for their affair and often blame their husband for the affair!
In the book SAA, Sue hated Jon but was so depressed after her affair with Greg she let him back into the home to help with the kids.

His wife is deep in the fog.

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His wife orchestrated his confinement to a mental facility for 5 days. He has children to support, that depend on him. My suggestion is that WD ask Dr. H his advice before making further plans.


Me; W 46
Him; H 46

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DD16
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barbiecat,
WD is hiring a lawyer. An investigation will hopefully reveal the role his ex-wife (who he mentioned has a connections way up in the department), his wife, and the POSOM may have had in all this. He doesn't know yet. No one does.

He has expressed that he is aware that his wife is not safe, and he is pursuing legal recourse. At the same time he has done a good job of executing Plan A while holding his cards near him. He has been consistent and has not buckled.


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I know the mental confinement was terrible, but the fact is men are routinely arrested and jailed for "domestic violence" they never committed daily.

That is why a VAR is highly encouraged upon betrayed spouses.
False accusations are Standard Operating Procedures for waywards. My wife accused me of drugging, kidnapping and raping her (but she went too far with her story and said a local doctor was my partner in crime...a complete stranger)

My wife also told the court I was psychotic and also told the city police that I was mentally unstable.

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I have a question about your confinement:

Who else did you call besides your wife while in the hospital?


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Originally Posted by Tom2010
So, sorry to say, I doubt if anyone could possibly be involuntarily committed by a registered psychiatrist for that long of a mental health evaluation (i.e., five days) unless that person posed a threat to others or self. I do not thing the police would believe your WW or your ExW unless there was strong history or evidence.


You're forgetting Tom, that his ex IS a police officer and had affairs with several police officers. It wasn't a case of civilians having to persuade the police to take them seriously. The people making the complaints are the police! Wayward cops would most certainly try something like this if they were afraid of their secrets getting out. You know Dr H has seen many waywards in very respectable positions pull some really dumb stunts. They have quite possibly made the most stupid mistake of their lives if they have misused their position to lock up a decorated officer.

WD, I agree with Tom that the first order of business is getting a lawyer on this so I'm pleased you are getting in touch with a good one. It's also great to hear you've contacted Dr H for his input.


Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
I understand it sounds like and extreme case. It was the most horrible thing I went through and for someone here on the message board to find it suspicious, I understand, Just because I'm not screaming and yelling doesn't mean I'm not mad about it and Yes I will be the one who will prevail from this.


I wouldn't get offended, wd. We have to ask, and we were all asked awkward questions ourselves when we showed up here. Remember the board only has your words and account to go on. So often we spend days helping a poor BW, only to find out the marriage itself was an affair and the BW is actually the OW. So sometimes we will ask if some things don't add up. It's not a problem, just fill in the gap for us.

I'm a bit puzzled by this friendly conspiracy between your WW and XW to be honest. Was your DW friendly to her before the A or is this a new development since she became wayward?

Another thing I'm not too clear on is how her first marriage ended? What's your relationship like with SS's dad? That could be important as Plan A progresses.



What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Get lawyer.....good advice.
Contact Dr. H......good advice.
Take it slow with WW and watch you back.....good advice.

Need to act on lawyer with more urgency.....well....yes.

Question his account because he handles his emotions differently than you expect....uncalled for. Hurtful.

WD, you have my respect and admiration. If I ever need police protection, I hope there will be someone like you to answer the call.

I do hope you will arrange further legal protection BEFORE you place yourself in a vulnerable situation with WW.



Me 58: FWH (NC 32 yr), W 60, married 36 yr, DD 32
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good morning,

I think you have a lot of forgiveness in you, but don't let that turn you into a door mat�
I think you have decided it is the fight part of the fight or flight thinking and you are sticking to that plan understanding the evilness of a wayward's thinking and fog babble.
I think your wife sees now that what she did on top of the affair was not right but she is also very irrational and a lot of crazy talk so you still cannot trust her to not inflict more evil in order to control you, not yet WD she has a long way to go.
I would get that GPS on her car to make sure the affair is not continuing, you need to know that is over before you can move forward with any hope of her wanting the marriage, just can't happen if OM is still in the picture.
In the meantime try to spend a day with your wife in public doing something fun together, talking and laughing��..let her leave with a good feeling about you.
��Tell her that the lawyers are looking after her wishes and that you will only talk about the marriage not divorce if she wants that she will have to do the work.
As far as the EW I would go total no contact with her I would get a go between even with the daughters visitation so you no longer ever have to speak or see her again. that woman should be done and out of your life�..
Plan B her for the rest of your life��.
I would use this as an opportunity to discuss the books with her as a start, don't tell her about the site yet��see if she will read the books first��.his needs, her needs.
maybe cut back on the contact with WW a bit, let's say only once a day, tell her you are busy with work. that your life is complicated now as well there��.tell her if she fears for her physical safety with you then she should practice no contact with you. She seems to be using this as her excuse to stay out of the house making it easy to continue the affair�..She should drop that ridiculous statement if you start agreeing with her that you both need to protect each other from the other���and now she is the one that is dangerous���she should start seeing it is her not you��and that her statement is no longer logical to anyone �.
Sometimes when you agree to something they have no where to go with the argument and the blame game, I would just say to my husband I am not stopping you from leaving I gave you my requirements the rest is up to you�If you truly believe what you are saying your free��.
When she starts blaming you say you have to go and stop or end the conversations
Start doing things without her show her you are going to move on without her if she is convinced she is leaving the marriage��

You have a lot of emotions to work out yourself but you have to keep an eye on the prize at all times you just can't force it or rush it, it has to be her choice after her thinking that will work she isn't there yet��.
She keeps calling you and texting you staying in contact why would she do this she could just let the lawyers handle things she is choosing that contact��.when she does this she is hurting herself too when she tries to hurt you with her words��what else can she do admit to herself she is being a monster��not yet but she will WD.
rule out the affair first, don't' trust her word on that��...


BW 56
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Married 25 years, live together for 2, dated 2 years before that.....
DS 23, DS 25
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NC Mar 1/10
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X2
Plan B the XW!
Get an IM for arranging visitation with DD.


Me 58: FWH (NC 32 yr), W 60, married 36 yr, DD 32
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Originally Posted by ItCanGetBetter
X2
Plan B the XW!
Get an IM for arranging visitation with DD.


Have you posted on the right thread? He isn't Plan Bing, no one is advising this and his daughter is his daughter, not their daughter.

Plan B isn't advised for men at this stage.


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Originally Posted by ItCanGetBetter
X2
Plan B the XW!
Get an IM for arranging visitation with DD.

Yes, go No Contact with the Ex wife.

Last edited by Jedi_Knight; 04/09/14 08:37 AM.
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WD's EX-wife is the one who got him committed to the psych ward indie, she is a serial cheater who cheated with several of his fellow officers. His WW conspired with the EX to have him 'evaluated'.

WD, you are amazing and God is with you.

Love in Christ,
Miss M


me: FBS
H: FWS
Fully recovered
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