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Originally Posted by TheRoad
Originally Posted by Littlebit3
How about something like, "I hope that is only temporary. I truly hope you and SS will come home to stay very soon. I see that I made many mistakes, and I am working hard to become a better husband and father. Together we can work through anything." Or something along those lines.
Originally Posted by Sunnytimes
"did you happen to notice that your wife and 1 of your kids are not living in the same house as you? Not so amazing!"

I'd go with something like "Yes, I have really missed _____" (something you always did together that involves several senses and evokes a memory, like the smell of coffee while you packed DD & SS's lunch, or such)



There is no good response to be had. Reason you are making LB withdrawals by arguing, debating, and trying to educate the WW. None of that is doing a plan A.

So are you saying those text where LB withdraws, I noticed you said there is no good response,in that cas a simple yes would of been enough rather than what I text. just acknowledge what she said. I could of just agreed and left it that way. I don't want to educate her, argue or debate. I never argue with her and if I dont know an answer, I just listen and not say anything.

In your opinion what would be a good response.

Last edited by wifedivorcing; 04/16/14 07:44 AM.

ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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Originally Posted by TheRoad
Originally Posted by ItCanGetBetter
I'd look into filing a complaint with the medical board regarding the dr that wrote the false report. A threat to his license may be more effective than a civil suit.

It sounds like he's a quack who's found a job in which his patients don't choose him.

Under pressure he's likely to spill who influenced him

I'd also try to get him recused from any future care or evaluations involving you.



Do both but do not make a move before you talk to your lawyer. You do not want to do anything to harm your civil case.

I will be discussing this with my lawyer.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
Originally Posted by TheRoad
Originally Posted by Littlebit3
How about something like, "I hope that is only temporary. I truly hope you and SS will come home to stay very soon. I see that I made many mistakes, and I am working hard to become a better husband and father. Together we can work through anything." Or something along those lines.
Originally Posted by Sunnytimes
"did you happen to notice that your wife and 1 of your kids are not living in the same house as you? Not so amazing!"

I'd go with something like "Yes, I have really missed _____" (something you always did together that involves several senses and evokes a memory, like the smell of coffee while you packed DD & SS's lunch, or such)



There is no good response to be had. Reason you are making LB withdrawals by arguing, debating, and trying to educate the WW. None of that is doing a plan A.

So are you saying those text where LB withdraws, I noticed you said there is no good response,in that cas a simple yes would of been enough rather than what I text. just acknowledge what she said. I could of just agreed and left it that way. I don't want to educate her, argue or debate. I never argue with her and if I dont know an answer, I just listen and not say anything.

In your opinion what would be a good response.

I will not tell you what to say. You have done good plan A calls and texts already. Thing is you are not to get sucked into fighting, disagreeing, educating a WW. These things only make love bank withdrawals. Plan A is about making LB deposits.

I would not respond to any post where she is trying to get your goat. Do not take the bait. The way you are smart enough to not talk divorce you be just as smart when she tries to bait you.

In my opinion there is no need for you to respond to her saying you are wrong because you are down one wife and one child in your house.

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Originally Posted by TheRoad
Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
Originally Posted by TheRoad
Originally Posted by Littlebit3
How about something like, "I hope that is only temporary. I truly hope you and SS will come home to stay very soon. I see that I made many mistakes, and I am working hard to become a better husband and father. Together we can work through anything." Or something along those lines.
Originally Posted by Sunnytimes
"did you happen to notice that your wife and 1 of your kids are not living in the same house as you? Not so amazing!"

I'd go with something like "Yes, I have really missed _____" (something you always did together that involves several senses and evokes a memory, like the smell of coffee while you packed DD & SS's lunch, or such)



There is no good response to be had. Reason you are making LB withdrawals by arguing, debating, and trying to educate the WW. None of that is doing a plan A.

So are you saying those text where LB withdraws, I noticed you said there is no good response,in that cas a simple yes would of been enough rather than what I text. just acknowledge what she said. I could of just agreed and left it that way. I don't want to educate her, argue or debate. I never argue with her and if I dont know an answer, I just listen and not say anything.

In your opinion what would be a good response.

I will not tell you what to say. You have done good plan A calls and texts already. Thing is you are not to get sucked into fighting, disagreeing, educating a WW. These things only make love bank withdrawals. Plan A is about making LB deposits.

I would not respond to any post where she is trying to get your goat. Do not take the bait. The way you are smart enough to not talk divorce you be just as smart when she tries to bait you.

In my opinion there is no need for you to respond to her saying you are wrong because you are down one wife and one child in your house.

I know, I almost didn't respond, However I think the text that I responded with from te help of others, were good. I owned up to my problems in the marriage and how amazing she is and how great of a son. I don't argue, I just stay calm and I come on here for help. I appreciate the help.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
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I will be dropping off the pound cake for her today with the note. I will see how she responds to it. I would like to send her some flowers to eventually.


ME46
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Ephesians 5:11-13
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I know jedi mentioned a trip etc...but I think that is pushing it. I could ask her if she wanted to go to the Museum on Saturday, she loves art and just before she filed for divorce,I took her there and she loved it, there is so much to see that we didn't get to see everything. I could check to see if there is any wine tasting going on, she loves wine, I will let her do all the tasting. I'll try te non alcholic wine.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
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does she have a favourite cologne that you wear? maybe put a light hint of that on the note��.it would make her think of you, or a doodle you do �.something that will connect you to her����..

Last edited by jessitaylor; 04/16/14 08:18 AM.

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I'm with The Road. Send the texts you normally do. But when she says something foggy, you don't always have to reply.

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Originally Posted by jessitaylor
does she have a favourite cologne that you wear? maybe put a light hint of that on the note��.it would make her think of you, or a doodle you do �.something that will connect you to her����..

Yes she loves Romance, I wear it all the time and she always says I smell good. I'm glad you reminded me of that.


ME46
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D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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ask her what it would be like just sitting in the sand on the beach just relaxing in the midst of all the stress��if she is receptive ask her if she would consider a weekend away no stress just as friends, she may feel so stressed she may say yes you never know, I planned a trip when my husband said we were over and he followed me down there and stayed for 10 days ��..
you never know

Last edited by jessitaylor; 04/16/14 08:26 AM.

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Originally Posted by Justthe3ofus
I'm with The Road. Send the texts you normally do. But when she says something foggy, you don't always have to reply.


I kind of figured that. I appreciate it.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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Originally Posted by jessitaylor
ask her what it would be like just sitting in the sand on the beach just relaxing in the midst of all the stress��if she is receptive ask her if she would consider a weekend away no stress just as friends, she may feel so stress she may say yes you never know, I planned a trip when my husband said we were over and he followed me down there and stayed for 10 days ��..
you never know

I know it never hurts to ask, I will just have to find the right timing, I'll see after this pound cake.


ME46
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D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
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I kind of sit here wondering does this women have any love for me at all. It seems since exposure everything got worst and she is more towards OM. This is how it apears to me. I know 6 months etc, I noticed she now wants half of my pension for the years we were married, in the beginning she didn't want anything, ever since exposure she changed, I'm sure its POSOM pushing this. I just wish he would do something stupid.

Last edited by wifedivorcing; 04/16/14 08:52 AM.

ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
I kind of sit here wondering does this women have any love for me at all. It seems since exposure everything got worst and she is more towards OM.


Yes, she is angry because you interfered with her affair. That is to be expected. She was already drawn to the OM before because she was having an affair!! You don't get any more attached than that. She just covered it up better. Exposure bursts the affair fog and makes it die much faster. We have had many affairs die the day they are exposed.

I think you should definitely hire a PI to get photos of her at the OM's house. You can easily get that in one day.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
I kind of sit here wondering does this women have any love for me at all. It seems since exposure everything got worst and she is more towards OM.


Yes, she is angry because you interfered with her affair. That is to be expected. She was already drawn to the OM before because she was having an affair!! You don't get any more attached than that. She just covered it up better. Exposure bursts the affair fog and makes it die much faster. We have had many affairs die the day they are exposed.

I think you should definitely hire a PI to get photos of her at the OM's house. You can easily get that in one day.

It looks like she has a routine, went to OM this morning because she starts at 9:00am, I'm sureshe will be doing it friday same thing. She doesnt have SS he more than likely is going to stay with his dad, he is off for easter break.

I wish hers would of died, I just think I got a real piece of work who doesn't care and I bet he thinks he has the upper hand because of the PPO. I have to keep plan A and hope for the best. I know Dr. Harley said not to make any contact wioth him anymore. I just don't get this guy, he looks like her DAD.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
[
It looks like she has a routine, went to OM this morning because she starts at 9:00am, I'm sureshe will be doing it friday same thing. She doesnt have SS he more than likely is going to stay with his dad, he is off for easter break.

CAn you get this hooked up? Do you know any good PIs?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Don't worry about her response to exposure it is expected.

She can't come home to you anymore and get Love Busters that she can run and tell the OM about and he can no longer console her about it. They must now make a romantic relationship like anyone else, without the rush of the secrecy. One of the big things that probably fueled the A was her telling him about how terrible you were and him consoling her (this is the biggest LB deposit you can make).

Just believe in the plan, you are making the OM earn his LB deposits now and he likely will fall short of her expectations and remorse will begin to build. Especially if she sees how great and attractive you've become. She will think to herself, 'I left him for this?' Keep yourself attractive and make yourself even more attractive then you were and when he starts LBusting she will realize the mistake and he won't be able to compete with the fantasy she built up in her mind.

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Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Sorry wd, my mistake I thought Dr. Harley read your email on the show, but it looks like he just corresponded with you through email. Is that correct?

Have you corresponded anymore with Dr. Harley?


FWW/BW (me)
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Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Originally Posted by txstunnedman
Don't worry about her response to exposure it is expected.

She can't come home to you anymore and get Love Busters that she can run and tell the OM about and he can no longer console her about it. They must now make a romantic relationship like anyone else, without the rush of the secrecy. One of the big things that probably fueled the A was her telling him about how terrible you were and him consoling her (this is the biggest LB deposit you can make).

Just believe in the plan, you are making the OM earn his LB deposits now and he likely

Iwill fall short of her expectations and remorse will begin to build. Especially if she sees how great and attractive you've become. She will think to herself, 'I left him for this?' Keep yourself attractive and make yourself even more attractive then you were and when he starts LBusting she will realize the mistake and he won't be able to compete with the fantasy she built up in her mind.

I Dropped the note and cake off. I left it at the front desk with the receptionists. She asked if it was personal and I said yes. She smiled.

Why did I feel nervous dropping that cake off. I felt like a school boy.

I think there affair is still.secret. I don't think they are running around town, I could be wrong tho. I truly believe they stay inside.



ME46
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Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Sorry wd, my mistake I thought Dr. Harley read your email on the show, but it looks like he just corresponded with you through email. Is that correct?

Have you corresponded anymore with Dr. Harley?

He sent me a couple of emails. Told me to plan A and the affair should die within 6.months. I have anxiety today not sure why.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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