To ToriSpellingVille...where a wistress can say things like this:
"I miss having my best friend," said a tearful Tori on her way to see Dean in rehab. "That was just stripped from me. I had it for seven years and it was just gone one day."
Totally missing the irony that this is exactly what she and her AP did to both their spouses 7 years ago. Seven years is a very long time in the world of A's, and even longer in Hollywood. I suspect that without the cameras, this would have imploded even sooner.
Sorry you felt badly about getting the cut direct. Don't let yourself dwell on it. It was just showing you that you need to move. And there is no need to even think about waiting 2 years to move. You can move while in PB, and under the circumstances I strongly encourage it.
And ending PB doesn't mean you must go back into C. If you have a time that you're ready to close the door to R, fine and dandy. But you can still stay NC for your own sanity - it's just to keep the drama out of your life at that point, not to preserve a $LB any longer. By that time, you would be making decisions based on what's best and most convenient for YOU.
In all your decisions from now on, even the one where WH comes crying and begging, make it with the best interests of you and the kids in mind. I hope that day is far enough in the future that you will be strong and glowing. No matter what you want to do, don't crumble!!! Because of the extreme cruelty you've endured, and the length of time you've endured it, you will need to set the bar even higher than you would've otherwise. And if he won't GLADLY jump, you walk away without looking back.
Most likely that will be a problem for another day, but I do want you to keep on building a mindset and habit of care and protection for yourself and the kids, so that you don't end up tempted to leave yourself defenseless again.
And start working toward moving. You need to be in a better place, and even if WH came back today, right this minute, you'd need to make moving an urgent priority. And all those silly IL's are just making it fast and easy for you to realize that you need them out of your life. Your new, A-free life doesn't just exclude WH's and OW's, but also AF's...Affair Friends. If someone is a friend of adultery, they are no friend of yours.
Have a fabulous day. Go paint some toenails.