Of course you should be the petitioner! They control the process and it is a legal record of your marital history.

Relax, you've now decided and are proceeding.

Maybe I should be more worried what other people think, but for some reason I am not. Either as petitioner or respondent, I am happy as long as I am free of the situation. So if he needs to be able to say he left me, he can have the pleasure.

My IM did get a hold of him, and he submitted something today. If that is not approved, I'll do the petitioner.

I am much calmer and relaxed. My knee jerk fear when the case was dismissed was a huge shock to me. That was what I was working towards before we stopped contact and I got what I had then wanted! How quickly things can change.

I know it's hard to visualize it a this point, but you will be better off a year from now and fantastic in a couple years.

There are a lot of young men out there that would love to show love and care to a wife and build a fantastic marriage.

Life is a learning experience.

Luna I am really happy for you you seem like a new person, we told you that Plan Luna was the best way to go. Now that you have decided it will get easier from here but you will still have bad days be careful on those days to take care of yourself......

Thanks for the support. I think my biggest danger is being over confident with the soon to be ex H. He is a trigger for me and I need to always keep that in mind.

I am no hurry to find someone else, which I think is a good thing. I'm really looking forward to getting my own house in order, purging myself of things that I don't need and/or are not good for me. Simplicity and self care!

This coming summer will be a wonderful down time I hope. And by down, I mean resting and rejuvenating, not being sad 'down'.

Today was one of those tough days. Went to a new grocery store, something I've come to associate with the H and all our travels.

Keep reminding myself of all the times he was mean because I was happy, or abusive. It helps a little.

One time I saved us $1600 because I told him to check one location that I thought his lost wedding ring was (before we were about to buy another one). He finally checked, after five months and 2000 miles between us and where it was lost (lost as part of moving). He comes back up the stairs wearing the ring and instead of saying congrats, or cool, or thank you, he says "I never looked there because I thought you were full of [censored].". I was stunned at the time. The abuse was out of nowhere, when I had been right and helped us out so much. I stood at the sink with the dishes in my hand and felt so lost. I didn't know what to do.

This was after we have spend a whole afternoon emptying out a recycling dumpster looking for it instead of starting our two day drive home. We could have not done all that, but he had refused to check this one place and I didn't want to cause a fight by doing it myself.

So yeah, trying to keep perspective. I think if I had kept a journal it would be even easier.

Try not to look back. Feeling aggrieved at the past injustices is a good sign. It means you are getting more objective. But try not to get stuck there. Grieve, but move on to thoughts of yourself.

Good call. Venting did nothing to help me feel better.

Things will improve when I get my household together (in one apartment). In the meanwhile, the manager killed a huge bug that got in my house (thank goodness) and I've got nice dinner plans on Friday with two girlfriends.

And I studied with a friend out last night and stayed at her place due to said bug. That was really nice. I felt so blessed.

So it is going pretty well.

That must have been some bug.
Was it from outer space or just a domestic bug that grew 100 times larger due to radiation poisoning?

Sewer cockroach. It over almost four inches I'd say. Even the manager was a bit surprised at the size.

It was big enough to see where it went to the bathroom in my bathroom. Dis-gusting.

This feels very far away right now.

I can function doing things I normally do in this town all day long, but the moment I do something new. it seems to set me off. Driving here is awful (my car was never here before).

Thinking about getting a cat but am scared of the commitment to another creature. My last cat lived two decades.

What are you doing for your self-care? What about lunch with some good friends?

Luna,

I saw your post about the age differences on another thread.
What are the ages of you and your husband?

BTW, what happened to Blindsides thread? Did he delete it?

It was recently moved to the Divorced/Divorcing subforum.

LTL

Self care:
Getting enough sleep, no alcohol due to depressant qualities, being gentle with myself on how slowly I am getting some things done, dinner with friends tomorrow, writing my mom since she is out of the country and not available for phone calls, talking to other friends on the phone and letting myself get B's in classes or whatever. I just need to get through this quarter, I don't need to be a superstar.

Things I am struggling with include laundry and grocery shopping. So I am letting myself eat out more even if I wouldn't normally spend that kind of money, and also finding a way to do the bare minimum of washing.

Any suggestions are welcome. My friend would went through a divorce advised me to concentrate my energies on the lowest level of the needs pyramid until I feel better. That advice has helped me focus a bit on just the necessities to get through.

I am also under a doctor's care right now, but again, not forcing myself to go to counseling every week. I need less duties, not more, and having another task like that would stress me out.

Can you please answer this question/

Did you have a prior thread here?
Is this your thread?
http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/u...e+difference&Search=true#Post2782737

I, too, would like to see an answer to Jedi's questions.

It is my thread.