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Marriage Builders Forums Infidelity Surviving an Affair Wife wants to separate

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Re: Wife wants to separate Pole #2835444 12/26/14 11:51 AM
Joined: Apr 2001 Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 Texas M MelodyLane Member
MelodyLane Member M Joined: Apr 2001 Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 Texas	Pole, I want to point out that you are not in a recovered marriage. Just because your wife said she "wants to work on the marriage" does not mean your problems are solved. Our goal on Marriage Builders is to RECOVER the love in the marriage. MB has a plan to achieve that goal. Dr. Harley didn't set up and provide a free forum to discuss personal philosophies and programs that he doesn't endorse. "It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101

Re: Wife wants to separate Pole #2835446 12/26/14 12:06 PM
Joined: Nov 2010 Posts: 20,481 Likes: 6 Moved to Uranus B BrainHurts Member
BrainHurts Member B Joined: Nov 2010 Posts: 20,481 Likes: 6 Moved to Uranus	Originally Posted by Pole Hey, I'm not an expert, just trying to say what worked for me. *EDIT* Her love bank is closed and needs to be opened. I believe that is key and the most difficult part. I needed more specific help and a plan on how to do this, which was hard to find and I haven't seen anyone mention... Anyone mention? Dr. Harley has loads of free advice on his website on the plans. Why would you come and tell a new poster to "research" when you're on Dr. Harley's free forum with loads of free advice on his plans? Do you listen to MBradio (which is also free)? What actions has your wife done to work on your marriage? Last edited by Ariel; 12/26/14 12:19 PM. Reason: TOS FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.

Re: Wife wants to separate BrainHurts #2835580 12/27/14 07:24 PM
Joined: Nov 2014 Posts: 34 P Pole Member
Pole Member P Joined: Nov 2014 Posts: 34	OK... Usefull info on how to reconcile... http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5042b_qa.html 2 kids 1M 1992

Re: Wife wants to separate Pole #3017802 11/29/25 04:58 AM
Joined: Nov 2025 Posts: 1 J Jack William Junior Member
Jack William Junior Member J Joined: Nov 2025 Posts: 1	Originally Posted by Pole My wife said that too, it was absolutely for sure over, now she is trying again.... It can be done.. It is hard and it takes time and discipline. All love busters have to stop immediately. All interactions need to be positive and build love. She needs to be feel good about talking to you. This is the hard part because she is rejecting right now and trying too hard or pushing too hard will push her away... Research *EDIT* It really does take time, patience, and a lot of self-control. It’s good that you’re aware of the need to stop the negative patterns and focus on positive interactions — that alone is a big step. Giving her space while still being consistent and calm can make a difference, even if it feels slow or uncertain right now. Keep working on yourself, stay steady, and let things rebuild naturally. Researching and understanding the process is definitely the right move. Keep going. wedding can coolers

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