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Why were you fired from your job?

Who all have you exposed this to? Have you told your children? What are their ages?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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My children are 11 and 7. I was fired for performance issues. I would rather not explain this to my children. I will keep them as innocent as I can through as much of this as I can. They understand that mom and dad can't live with each other anymore.

I have told all of her family and mine. her friends and mine. Boyfriend has blocked me from communication but he knows how I feel.


BH 34 (me)
WS 31 / OM 44
3 children 12/7/angel
Married 13y
D-Day 9/21/2015

Exposed/Separated Plan A
(Almost in recovery)
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Please listen to the clips in here and read the information.
Exposing to Children


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Have you read the Exposure thread?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Originally Posted by ManKeepingHisFam
My children are 11 and 7. I was fired for performance issues. I would rather not explain this to my children. I will keep them as innocent as I can through as much of this as I can. They understand that mom and dad can't live with each other anymore.

How does lying to them about the source of tension in their lives "keep them innocent?" It only keeps them vulnerable and confused. Kids are not stupid. They can handle the truth. What they can't handle are lies. If you don't tell them the truth, your wife will tell them lies...........about you. Why leave them vulnerable to that? How can they possibly understand why you can't live together if you don't explain why? Would you understand why if you were never given the reasons?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Man,
Were you the one I remember from the radio show?

If so, you should email Dr. Harley and Joyce for followup help. Meanwhile, follow the advice you are getting here.

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Originally Posted by ManKeepingHisFam
Yeah I spoke to dr. Harley today on this topic. I was told to do plan a. I was also told to stay away from drinking FOREVER. I can do these. I was also told to talk with BF and get an insight on what wife has told him about trying to get back with cousin. Let him know that I am trying to repair my marriage and give him incentive to leave her alone without alerting her.
Is this your show?
Radio Clip of ManKeepingHisFam's Show


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Posts: 211
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Yes that was me... I think I will call and get a return on this.

Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Originally Posted by ManKeepingHisFam
Yeah I spoke to dr. Harley today on this topic. I was told to do plan a. I was also told to stay away from drinking FOREVER. I can do these. I was also told to talk with BF and get an insight on what wife has told him about trying to get back with cousin. Let him know that I am trying to repair my marriage and give him incentive to leave her alone without alerting her.
Is this your show?
Radio Clip of ManKeepingHisFam's Show


BH 34 (me)
WS 31 / OM 44
3 children 12/7/angel
Married 13y
D-Day 9/21/2015

Exposed/Separated Plan A
(Almost in recovery)
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Originally Posted by ManKeepingHisFam
Yes that was me... I think I will call and get a return on this.

Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Originally Posted by ManKeepingHisFam
Yeah I spoke to dr. Harley today on this topic. I was told to do plan a. I was also told to stay away from drinking FOREVER. I can do these. I was also told to talk with BF and get an insight on what wife has told him about trying to get back with cousin. Let him know that I am trying to repair my marriage and give him incentive to leave her alone without alerting her.
Is this your show?
Radio Clip of ManKeepingHisFam's Show

Good idea. Let us know when you hear back.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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I haven't accessed the email that I was replying to Dr. Harley for quiet sometime. It has been locked out. I am getting it taken care of but in the mean time...

I feel like I am losing my mind! My heart is constantly aching and I see my wife's image in my children's eyes. I can't eat and I dream of her. If nothing else this program made me fall deeply in love with her and I am left with all the ache. She misses her kids and she is completely pissed at me for taking them. She is in war mode right now and she will do anything and everything to get her kids back but come home to me. She is still with him and refuses to talk to me. She has even gone as far as to tell people that I was abusing her. I understand why she has gotten the way she is! We lost a child this time of the year 4 years ago. but the months leading up till now, our relationship was perfect. She spoke to me regularly. We made love regularly. We hung out all the time. It was like we were dating again. She even told me without being asked that she was finally happy with me again. I knew the minute things started to change and that I was losing her again about a month ago. I thought it was because of her depression and this time of year. I don't know what to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


BH 34 (me)
WS 31 / OM 44
3 children 12/7/angel
Married 13y
D-Day 9/21/2015

Exposed/Separated Plan A
(Almost in recovery)
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I just sent this to everyone who's our mutual friends list (87)

Dear friends and family,

I am writing you this message because you are an important person in the lives of ****** and I. As some of you know, ***** has recently asked me for a separation, which has shattered my heart. To my shock, I am saddened to have discovered that the reason is because she has been carrying on an affair with a man from the bar named ***** **** who resides in ********* . The purpose of the separation is so that she can carry on her affair without my interference.

She refuses to end the affair. I want our marriage to recover from this affair. If you have any influence on my babe, please do what you can to get her to stop this dangerous affair. I want to stay married, but the affair must end.

As our friends and family, I am asking that you use your influence with ****** to persuade her to end her affair and try to work on our marriage. Our marriage can be salvaged if she would only end the affair. Please support her in doing the right thing. Please support our marriage.

I would so appreciate your support and prayers.

Warmest regards,

Last edited by JustUss; 09/30/15 12:25 PM. Reason: removed personal info

BH 34 (me)
WS 31 / OM 44
3 children 12/7/angel
Married 13y
D-Day 9/21/2015

Exposed/Separated Plan A
(Almost in recovery)
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good. now make sure you expose to OM side of family also

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make sure you have downloaded his list of facebook friends before he closes his account

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I can't he blocked me days before I found out. Some of her friends and family are not happy with me about spreading our family business all over facebook. These were all private messages.


BH 34 (me)
WS 31 / OM 44
3 children 12/7/angel
Married 13y
D-Day 9/21/2015

Exposed/Separated Plan A
(Almost in recovery)
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 211
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I think I have messed up! Most of them are telling me that that was not a good idea and this will push her farther away!


BH 34 (me)
WS 31 / OM 44
3 children 12/7/angel
Married 13y
D-Day 9/21/2015

Exposed/Separated Plan A
(Almost in recovery)
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 3,197
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Are her friends and family clinical psychologists with 40 years of experience recovering marriages from affairs?

I am guessing no.

Although they may have great intentions, that does not mean they know how to fight an affair or recover a marriage.

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Thank you for the calming words.


BH 34 (me)
WS 31 / OM 44
3 children 12/7/angel
Married 13y
D-Day 9/21/2015

Exposed/Separated Plan A
(Almost in recovery)
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 211
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This is what I wrote Dr.H
Dr Harley and Joyce,

It pains me to tell you that things have not turned out well between my wife and I. In the last 7 months I thought things were going so great and we had the perfect marriage. She was loving, compassionate, and meet my needs. I thought I was doing a great job on hers as well. I was wrong. She left me last Monday to be with another man after I found her in bed with him. I have since taken our 2 children to stay with my father in NC where I can be free from her family�s influences. I still love this woman very much! But she tells me time and time again that it is over and she wants a divorce. I am sad to think that these children will have to go through this mess. I messed up on my sobriety. I did not carry through with it and my wife continued to go to the bar. This man we spoke of a while back is the culprit� Not the good looking guy that was trying to get with her cousin, but the bouncer of the bar. She would let him take her home after too much drinking. Her mother had a big hand in keeping this affair from me. In fact I have evidence of her knowing and warning her when I was close to finding out. I really don�t know what to do! I have been in the forums under the ManKeepingHisFamily tag name for quite some time. She is making very serious accusations at me via texts and refuses to talk with me. I have read over the exposure thread and exposed her to her family and friends via facebook. I have gotten some backlash from this by her friends but some are willing to lend a hand. My family is through with her and would rather see her off a long peer. It took me 3 months to get her back the last time.

Your friend, ***EDIT***


Last edited by Ariel; 09/30/15 05:39 PM.

BH 34 (me)
WS 31 / OM 44
3 children 12/7/angel
Married 13y
D-Day 9/21/2015

Exposed/Separated Plan A
(Almost in recovery)
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A reminder not to post personal details on the forum. Be cyber safe.

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Originally Posted by ManKeepingHisFam
I can't he blocked me days before I found out. Some of her friends and family are not happy with me about spreading our family business all over facebook. These were all private messages.

Sir, you need to be creative to battle this.
Create a second facebook account and login and get the boyfriends list of friends and family so you can expose to them asap.

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