I think he would too.

Your situation sounds very isolated. You already have a lot of anxiety and then you only have him to turn to, which it sound like that may distract you in the minute but:

1) Your desperation makes you less attractive to him.
2) He then treats you in a manner that further erodes your self confidence/peace of mind making you even more anxious and "pathetic/needy" in his eyes.

When you muster the strength to Plan B I think you will find that once you are away from his influence you will start to feel stronger, but you will probably go through a few days of withdrawal-self-doubt hell I imagine like someone giving up any addiction.

Do you not have any family or friends you can talk to? What about parents of your children's friends? Can you go anywhere without too much anxiety, like a different church?

This is not the type of forum where people can strike up side friendships but I have participated in other internet forums - you can find them on any kind of interest - parenting, painting, sewing, politics - you name it - if you can't get out and meet people you could still distract yourself and get some human feedback in those types of forums and over time maybe make some online friends.

Good luck I just believe strongly that if you can plan B you and your children will be so much happier and at peace a month from now.

Why would he say you have a boyfriend?

Why would he accuse you of cheating and getting signs from God himself? Could it be he is slightly delusional? I mean in the psychiatric sense, apart from obviously living the single life and being in the fog?

He sounds cruel and unstable to me. Please stop contacting him. Because if you only contact him about problems that will only drive him further away anyway. If you are feeling better, your anxiety will probably be a lot less. If not, you should get help with some techniques how to handle that. If you were on the show, you could e-mail Dr. harley and ask him for his opinion.

AnyWife: I am painfully aware that that is the case

HappyHeart: he thinks that I have taken up boyfriends at my work. My two oldest' s father works there on the opposite shift as me. When the meeting was held, he had to be there. While there, he asked me if my daughter could go to a concert with him and a few other things were discussed about the kids. Remember that I have no IM for my girl's dad. I was using my husband (which was extremely frustrating because my husband refused to contact him in times of need.. Like sudden off days at school etc). But then my husband gave their father my phone number so that he could contact me himself. Now he is my boyfriend.
My other boyfriend is a man at work on my shift who had filled my love bank a little when I was single with kind gestures. I do not speak to him, but had to during the meeting. He also stood next to me (we were all standing in a circle). This man is experiencing psychosis (and has been for the last 3 months, probably from methamphetamines) and is not expected to work there past this week.
As for my husband having a psychotic break, it's possible, but if he is, I don't think it is lasting. I am extremely familiar with pychosis; my brother has schizophrenia.
I wonder about his sanity in other ways.. Like maybe wanting to kill me sometimes (during his angry outbursts because he gets very aggressive very quickly).. But other than that, he is sane.

This alone is reason enough to separate. He needs anger management at the bare minimum and a long consistent safe period before he is safe around you or the kids. I agree plan b is the the safest bet for you and your children.

x 2

While I did advise to divorce him (based on him sounding like a cad as Joyce mentioned), you can't get a divorce granted in your state while pregnant anyway so it would only be a filing. Just pointing that out to others that it is not even an option.

Thanks guys. I really appreciate your input.

Court was today. My husband did not show up. I was given managing conservator of the kids, child support, and another court date in November after the next baby is born.
I'm floored that he didn't come.
Now onto plan b..
Not sure how to even begin.
I fear that he will be so upset when he receives the court orders.
It talks about the violence and how he is only allowed to have supervised visits.
Ugh.
My one year old is having surgery on the 30th. I didn't want to go through that alone. It's not a huge surgery.. It should take just a couple hours. Scary, nonetheless.

Has anyone ever used https://www.ourfamilywizard.com as an intermediary ? If so, did it work?

I normally hate Facebook, but would it be a good idea to make one during this time? I need support.

Need support from whom?

Facebook is not a good idea if you don't have air tight boundaries. We see hundreds of affairs on the board that were carried on through Facebook.

What is your support system? Family, girlfriends, church?

I have no friends.
My family is consumed with their own troubles and I feel like I have been helping to supporting them.
My extended family all has Facebook, as does his family. I was thinking maybe I could get support in that area.
I have high anxiety and nothing to do. I went to the church we were married in a couple times and it gave me a panic attack because of all the talk of death and dying. I can't get on meds cos I'm pregnant.

My husband of one year has had his current job for about 4 months. I was feeling okay with his job until earlier this week when a girl in her early twenties started working with him. I didn't know he was scheduled to work with her until a few minutes before he had to go in, so we didn't have any time to discuss it. I asked him not to go in, but he did. They were at work together until close to midnight. It's a small retail store so they either work alone or with one other person. Yesterday I asked if he was working with her again and he assured me he wasn't. I snuck in at around 9:00 PM to check and see if he was telling the truth. She was there, so he had lied to me. She and the other coworker were very awkward and it felt like they were all trying not to act like they had been caught. I'm so devastated. I asked him to reschedule. I asked him to quit. I asked him to transfer. Anything. Just please get away from her. He says he is trying, but after he lied to me I can't be sure. I came here to ask what to do in the meantime. I am in so much pain sitting down the road from him knowing that he is with her at work. I left and went to my father's house just to not have to deal with the pain. I've been staying there the last two nights and am about to stay a third. I know separation is not the right answer, but I am absolutely squirming in agony at the choice he is making to not protect me. What do I do? We don't bring in a whole lot of income so reasonably he is worried about quitting and not being able to pay the bills. But I am just in tears every time I think about it. Please help.

Have you checked his phone and/or phone records to check how much contact there has been?

HK, he needs to leave that job. If he won't do that for you knowing the traumatic stress you experiencing, then your problems are much bigger than just this one problem. Your larger problem is a very callous, cruel approach to your feelings.

So sorry you are in this terrible situation.

No, but there hasn't been a huge amount of time for contact since this all began earlier this week.

To me, it is such a low paying job that he may as well try to find something different quickly. He tells me he can't just quit, he has to pay the bills. He's right... We do have five kids. But for what he is being paid he could probably find another job quickly. My only fear is getting into the same position all over again.

Has this happened before? Has he had any affairs?

None that I know of in the year we have been married. We have only been living together since August though so anything could have happened before then.

Hershey, I am horrified to hear that you are back living with this man. When you came here in April this year, you told us about a violent, cruel, bully who would not live with you and who had no contact with you for weeks on end. He had been separated from you when you were expecting your fourth baby, and after it was born and friends informed him of the birth, he didn't contact you or try to see the boy for weeks. When you last posted, you were pregnant with your fifth, and suffering great anxiety and fear about living alone, without much money, with four kids already, and in an inhospitable environment (storms etc). Your husband would not go and see you or send you money, and when he bothered to contact you, told you get help from your "boyfriends" - this while pregnant with his child.

You won a court order for supervised visitation, because of his violence, and for child support. When you posted here, you appear to have accepted that his physical violence, complete and utter neglect of you and the kids, and emotional cruelty, were reasons for permanent separation. Yet here you are posting again, apparently living with him only three or four months of months after the court order, and worrying about a co-worker? The co-worker is the least of your problems!

What about his violence and cruelty?

Why are you back with him, and not even bothering to update us about what the heck happened?

Please explain!