Are you dating OM?

So why lie and say that wasn't you?

It is so wayward to respond with extreme offense when suspected.
It's not going to work here.

A few years ago, someone on this board suspected I was having another affair and suggested it to markos. I wasn't offended -- my response was to try to prove my innocence. Only the guilty try to gaslight by being so offended.

You sound the way you did when you arrived on the board -- defensive and combative. I'm so disappointed

I think it is likely the Juliet_gingerbee is a fantasy identity that was created to play out a scenario on the forum just to see how we would react. I think it is questionable as to what is reality. It is entirely plausible that mrs_cen was only pretending. So, what then would be the offense? Quite simply, it is a waste of the valuable time of volunteers. It is like calling 911 just to see if the first responders will come.

mrs_cen - please let us address your real issues and don't play games. It doesn't help us help you when you are verifiably untruthful. Tell us what is really up so we can help you.

Julliet_Gingerbee sounds an awful lot like the alias �Romeo Gingerbeef� that the OM went by on FaceBook back when the affair happened. Its good to know that the child is being subjected to a known drug dealer.

DDR, do you know RNR and mrs_cen?

Yeah, I am RNR. Its been so long since I've been to this forum that I could not remember my password. I also have a new email and could not retrieve my old password.

So have you filed for divorce? What's going on?

I'll answer that question for you all. NO, he has not filed, I filed and he has and continues to hide from my lawyers, and he has made zero efforts to help support our child. He promises our child a great deal - he will send money to her, he's going to be here to take her to her first day of school etc.
For the record, I am not dating, living with, etc, etc the other man.

How can we help you guys? What are your goals at this point?

Let me just mention the obvious, that neither one of you can make the other do anything. If these are things you want him to do then you would probably need to consider providing him some incentive to do them.

People who are getting a divorce rarely cooperate with each other. If they were cooperative they most likely wouldn't be getting the divorce.

Markos, what other "incentive" could I possibly give the man? He has had unwavering contact with our daughter at every opportunity. I'm not asking for a single thing from him, other than the divorce papers signed and support for OUR child.

Okay, but you are still seeing him, right? He can still contact you, right? I assume you haven't made it impossible for him to contact you and you haven't completely closed the door on him for life.

I would encourage you to do so because this guy is not good for you at all.

You would be more likely to be able to figure that out than me, because you know him better.

It would probably be best for you to not count on him doing anything you are wanting and to simply not see or talk to him any more. Otherwise you will probably just be miserable for the rest of your life, which is what happens when divorced single mothers try to get their ex husbands to do what they think they should do as fathers.

You can make yourself miserable about what you believe he should do.

Or you can stop letting yourself be triggered to remember your soon to be ex husband and build a happy life for yourself without him. You just can't do that if you are going to talk about what he should do.

Or you can offer him some sort of incentive to try to motivate him - you get something you want from him, he gets something he wants from you.

I would never condone the first and I think anybody who helps you do that route, talking with you and dwelling on it and commiserating with you, isn't a friend to you at all.

And my guess is you'd rather die than do the third because after all in your opinion this is just what he should do.

That leaves you pretty much with the middle option.

My guess is you are going to take the first, but if you try to use this board as a place to complain about him I will be here to remind you why this is a bad idea, and I don't think you'll like the experience very much.

Can you explain why you posted here under another account?

I have not seen or been in contact with either my husband - who resides in a different province OR the other man.
The only thing I think he "should" do is sign the divorce papers - why in the world wouldn't anyone? Of course I can't "make" him, I haven't been able to make him do anything - certainly not in the time we were married and more so now.
I never posted on another name.

Here.
What evidence do the moderators have?

I notice you didn't answer the question I asked. You just repeated yourself. You haven't changed your contact info so that the OM can't find you, right?


You should probably talk to your lawyer about that rather than us. This is an extremely common legal situation that lawyers can handle.


Let us know when you are ready to be honest about this.

You'd have to ask them yourself Prisca.

You didn't ask them?