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Thanks, goody2shoes, for the links. These words in the third link are especially important in my situation. As I mentioned in one of the early pages of this thread, there are some who might demand my immediate firing even though I wasn't the cheating spouse and I have biblical grounds for divorce. And my friends and family are all mostly connected to the source of my employment. If some of them know, those who can fire me will find out. They can be very intolerant towards anything regarding divorce.
Harley says:
"While I unhesitatingly recommend immediately exposing the affair to friends, family, clergy, children and the other person's spouse, I'm not so quick to suggest immediately exposing it to an employer. That's because such exposure could have unintended legal and economic consequences. For example, the affair might constitute grounds for a sexual harassment claim by the unfaithful spouse's lover. Or it might trigger the outright firing of the spouse, making it far more difficult for them to find another job."
That last statement is my situation. If I read correctly, you say you can be fired if you divorce. We don't recommend divorce, we recommend to kill the affair and restore your marriage. Would you listen to these radio fragments on affair/exposure and share your thoughts with us? http://www.marriagebuilders.com/radio_program/play_segment.cfm?sid=9698http://www.marriagebuilders.com/radio_program/play_segment.cfm?sid=9699
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Harley says:
"While I unhesitatingly recommend immediately exposing the affair to friends, family, clergy, children and the other person's spouse, I'm not so quick to suggest immediately exposing it to an employer. That's because such exposure could have unintended legal and economic consequences. For example, the affair might constitute grounds for a sexual harassment claim by the unfaithful spouse's lover. Or it might trigger the outright firing of the spouse, making it far more difficult for them to find another job." First off, the last line only applies to workplace exposure for a workplace affair. It is not applicable to your situation. No one recommended you expose to the workplace. As Dr Harley says, he recommends "exposing the affair to friends, family, clergy, children and the other person's spouse.."
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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] As I mentioned in one of the early pages of this thread, there are some who might demand my immediate firing even though I wasn't the cheating spouse and I have biblical grounds for divorce. We are not recommending divorce. That is where you are headed now. We are trying to help you prevent that outcome.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Other free resources would be to send Dr Harley an email asking for his advice. He will send you a free book if he reads your email on the air. I have been here for 16 years and I received all of my initial books free this way. You can obtain all of the worksheets and questionaires free at this link: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi4500_resource.htmlIf you don't want to do any of that, you can notify the moderators of your address and I will purchase a book for you. The book you need is Surviving an Affair [$13] and it is here here or on amazon at here
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Thanks, goody2shoes, for the links. These words in the third link are especially important in my situation. As I mentioned in one of the early pages of this thread, there are some who might demand my immediate firing even though I wasn't the cheating spouse and I have biblical grounds for divorce. And my friends and family are all mostly connected to the source of my employment. If some of them know, those who can fire me will find out. They can be very intolerant towards anything regarding divorce.
Harley says:
"While I unhesitatingly recommend immediately exposing the affair to friends, family, clergy, children and the other person's spouse, I'm not so quick to suggest immediately exposing it to an employer. That's because such exposure could have unintended legal and economic consequences. For example, the affair might constitute grounds for a sexual harassment claim by the unfaithful spouse's lover. Or it might trigger the outright firing of the spouse, making it far more difficult for them to find another job."
That last statement is my situation. If I read correctly, you say you can be fired if you divorce. We don't recommend divorce, we recommend to kill the affair and restore your marriage. Would you listen to these radio fragments on affair/exposure and share your thoughts with us? http://www.marriagebuilders.com/radio_program/play_segment.cfm?sid=9698http://www.marriagebuilders.com/radio_program/play_segment.cfm?sid=9699I left the third part out: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/radio_program/play_segment.cfm?sid=9700
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***EDIT***
Last edited by Ariel; 05/03/17 11:14 AM. Reason: TOS
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From our Terms of Service:
9. If you are offering advice to person asking a question, you agree to refrain from posting material that is counter to the Marriage Builders program, whether that be in the form of a book reference or a personal philosophy
The purpose of this forum is to help others find solutions using Marriage Builders concepts. We ask that you keep this in mind when posting to others.
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***EDIT***
Enough. Do not argue any more on another person's thread. If you have any questions about our policies, send an email to a Moderator or an Administrator.
arielmarriagebuilder@gmail.com
Last edited by Ariel; 05/03/17 11:28 AM. Reason: TOS
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Thanks, goody2shoes, for the links. These words in the third link are especially important in my situation. As I mentioned in one of the early pages of this thread, there are some who might demand my immediate firing even though I wasn't the cheating spouse and I have biblical grounds for divorce. And my friends and family are all mostly connected to the source of my employment. If some of them know, those who can fire me will find out. They can be very intolerant towards anything regarding divorce.
Harley says:
"While I unhesitatingly recommend immediately exposing the affair to friends, family, clergy, children and the other person's spouse, I'm not so quick to suggest immediately exposing it to an employer. That's because such exposure could have unintended legal and economic consequences. For example, the affair might constitute grounds for a sexual harassment claim by the unfaithful spouse's lover. Or it might trigger the outright firing of the spouse, making it far more difficult for them to find another job."
That last statement is my situation. If I read correctly, you say you can be fired if you divorce. We don't recommend divorce, we recommend to kill the affair and restore your marriage. Would you listen to these radio fragments on affair/exposure and share your thoughts with us? http://www.marriagebuilders.com/radio_program/play_segment.cfm?sid=9698http://www.marriagebuilders.com/radio_program/play_segment.cfm?sid=9699 http://www.marriagebuilders.com/radio_program/play_segment.cfm?sid=9700Did you listen to the fragments? If so, do you want to share your thoughts with us?
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