Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our discussion forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 6 of 6 1 2 3 4 5 6
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 783
Likes: 4
G
Member
Offline
Member
G
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 783
Likes: 4
Originally Posted By: anonymityplease
Thanks, goody2shoes, for the links. These words in the third link are especially important in my situation. As I mentioned in one of the early pages of this thread, there are some who might demand my immediate firing even though I wasn't the cheating spouse and I have biblical grounds for divorce. And my friends and family are all mostly connected to the source of my employment. If some of them know, those who can fire me will find out. They can be very intolerant towards anything regarding divorce.

Harley says:
"While I unhesitatingly recommend immediately exposing the affair to friends, family, clergy, children and the other person's spouse, I'm not so quick to suggest immediately exposing it to an employer. That's because such exposure could have unintended legal and economic consequences. For example, the affair might constitute grounds for a sexual harassment claim by the unfaithful spouse's lover. Or it might trigger the outright firing of the spouse, making it far more difficult for them to find another job."

That last statement is my situation.

If I read correctly, you say you can be fired if you divorce. We don't recommend divorce, we recommend to kill the affair and restore your marriage.

Would you listen to these radio fragments on affair/exposure and share your thoughts with us?
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/radio_program/play_segment.cfm?sid=9698
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/radio_program/play_segment.cfm?sid=9699

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted By: anonymityplease

Harley says:
"While I unhesitatingly recommend immediately exposing the affair to friends, family, clergy, children and the other person's spouse, I'm not so quick to suggest immediately exposing it to an employer. That's because such exposure could have unintended legal and economic consequences. For example, the affair might constitute grounds for a sexual harassment claim by the unfaithful spouse's lover. Or it might trigger the outright firing of the spouse, making it far more difficult for them to find another job."


First off, the last line only applies to workplace exposure for a workplace affair. It is not applicable to your situation. No one recommended you expose to the workplace.

As Dr Harley says, he recommends "exposing the affair to friends, family, clergy, children and the other person's spouse.."


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


goody2shoes #2898284 05/02/17 06:47 PM
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
]
Originally Posted By: anonymityplease
As I mentioned in one of the early pages of this thread, there are some who might demand my immediate firing even though I wasn't the cheating spouse and I have biblical grounds for divorce.


We are not recommending divorce. That is where you are headed now. We are trying to help you prevent that outcome.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Other free resources would be to send Dr Harley an email asking for his advice. He will send you a free book if he reads your email on the air. I have been here for 16 years and I received all of my initial books free this way. You can obtain all of the worksheets and questionaires free at this link: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi4500_resource.html

If you don't want to do any of that, you can notify the moderators of your address and I will purchase a book for you. The book you need is Surviving an Affair [$13] and it is here here or on amazon at here


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


goody2shoes #2898286 05/02/17 07:11 PM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 783
Likes: 4
G
Member
Offline
Member
G
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 783
Likes: 4
Originally Posted By: goody2shoes
Originally Posted By: anonymityplease
Thanks, goody2shoes, for the links. These words in the third link are especially important in my situation. As I mentioned in one of the early pages of this thread, there are some who might demand my immediate firing even though I wasn't the cheating spouse and I have biblical grounds for divorce. And my friends and family are all mostly connected to the source of my employment. If some of them know, those who can fire me will find out. They can be very intolerant towards anything regarding divorce.

Harley says:
"While I unhesitatingly recommend immediately exposing the affair to friends, family, clergy, children and the other person's spouse, I'm not so quick to suggest immediately exposing it to an employer. That's because such exposure could have unintended legal and economic consequences. For example, the affair might constitute grounds for a sexual harassment claim by the unfaithful spouse's lover. Or it might trigger the outright firing of the spouse, making it far more difficult for them to find another job."

That last statement is my situation.

If I read correctly, you say you can be fired if you divorce. We don't recommend divorce, we recommend to kill the affair and restore your marriage.

Would you listen to these radio fragments on affair/exposure and share your thoughts with us?
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/radio_program/play_segment.cfm?sid=9698
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/radio_program/play_segment.cfm?sid=9699

I left the third part out:
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/radio_program/play_segment.cfm?sid=9700

goody2shoes #2898307 05/03/17 12:01 PM
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 174
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 174
***EDIT***

Last edited by Ariel; 05/03/17 12:14 PM. Reason: TOS
Allan_Tweed #2898309 05/03/17 12:15 PM
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 297
A
Administrator
Member
Offline
Administrator
Member
A
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 297
From our Terms of Service:

9. If you are offering advice to person asking a question, you agree to refrain from posting material that is counter to the Marriage Builders program, whether that be in the form of a book reference or a personal philosophy

The purpose of this forum is to help others find solutions using Marriage Builders concepts. We ask that you keep this in mind when posting to others.

Ariel #2898311 05/03/17 12:23 PM
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 174
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 174
***EDIT***

Enough. Do not argue any more on another person's thread. If you have any questions about our policies, send an email to a Moderator or an Administrator.

arielmarriagebuilder@gmail.com

Last edited by Ariel; 05/03/17 12:28 PM. Reason: TOS
goody2shoes #2898334 05/04/17 05:21 AM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 783
Likes: 4
G
Member
Offline
Member
G
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 783
Likes: 4
Originally Posted By: goody2shoes
Originally Posted By: anonymityplease
Thanks, goody2shoes, for the links. These words in the third link are especially important in my situation. As I mentioned in one of the early pages of this thread, there are some who might demand my immediate firing even though I wasn't the cheating spouse and I have biblical grounds for divorce. And my friends and family are all mostly connected to the source of my employment. If some of them know, those who can fire me will find out. They can be very intolerant towards anything regarding divorce.

Harley says:
"While I unhesitatingly recommend immediately exposing the affair to friends, family, clergy, children and the other person's spouse, I'm not so quick to suggest immediately exposing it to an employer. That's because such exposure could have unintended legal and economic consequences. For example, the affair might constitute grounds for a sexual harassment claim by the unfaithful spouse's lover. Or it might trigger the outright firing of the spouse, making it far more difficult for them to find another job."

That last statement is my situation.

If I read correctly, you say you can be fired if you divorce. We don't recommend divorce, we recommend to kill the affair and restore your marriage.

Would you listen to these radio fragments on affair/exposure and share your thoughts with us?
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/radio_program/play_segment.cfm?sid=9698
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/radio_program/play_segment.cfm?sid=9699
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/radio_program/play_segment.cfm?sid=9700

Did you listen to the fragments? If so, do you want to share your thoughts with us?

Page 6 of 6 1 2 3 4 5 6

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 15 guests, and 73 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Bobbyboy341, Steve123, kenmw, lawenda, Leapylee
71,693 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,534
Posts2,322,657
Members71,694
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2020, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.  |  Web Development by SunStar Media.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5