Let's see where do you start with this kind of a day.<P>I guess 1st my son is lost, he's 19 and he's not really lost, he is on a bus somewhere between Wyoming, Nebraska and South Dakota, he should've been here today at 4:30 pm and will not arrive til 11 am tomorrow. Poor kid!!<P>2nd I found out that he asked his girlfriend to marry him and made a big production out of it publicly where he worked. Let's see why is mom not happy about this? He has less then $100 to his name, no job, a credit card bill from Kay jewlers, the girl is still in HS, student loans that he is paying on from when he dropped out of Tech College, has another loan out, and has dated this girl for less then 6 months. AND I don't want him to be hurt, they are so young I was in his place once, I know now if I would've of listened to my parents when they were saying "you are too young, you haven't known each other long enough, you should finish school first" I might not be in the situation I am in today. And H is not here to help with this, Grandparents are not going to be happy at all. Son told sister so she would break news to mom. H says stay cool and don't blow up at him, like that wasn't my first thought!! Actually because of MB I wasn't even thinking along those lines, I was trying to come up with a way to talk calmly about it. 9 months ago I would've blown up.<P>3rd Husband is traveling from Florida to Utah, (had to go see OW) he keeps calling, has problems with the loan that he took out when he traded the mini van in for something smaller, needs $2000 cash to set that straight. Let me see, can I help? yes, will I? no!!<P>4th I have 2 bad tires that are down to the steel belts on the front of my car, that will cost close to $100. UGH!!<P>5th Insurance company will not insure my kids cars that their grandparents gave them under my policy as I don't have Insurable interest in the vehicles, so now my parents have to change the titles or take two teens or their insurance, NOT! I hate paper work.<P>6th I can't find a place to live in the area that I want, can't get a loan for a house or mobile as I haven't been on the job 2 years. If I was, I qualify for some real low interest money, but if I use H to get loan I can't get real low money. They want me to have a paper from H saying that I am allowed to buy a house with out his name on the title. Yeah You read that right, it's a homestead state.<P>7th I work in a school without AC and it's still in the upper 90's.<P>I think that is all, I know it's enough for one day.<P>I know most of you can't do anything to help with these things, it did help me to type them all out. <P>Dawn

WOW!<P>I actually have had a busy but good week...<P>I started Tuesday with a full-day presentation to the staff at my school on "Understanding a Framework of Poverty" Ruby Payne's research on the implications of socioeconomics and achievement...<P>Thursday I continued District leadership stuff with my mentor duties and presented to new teachers in our district about Creating and Maintaining Effective Learning Environments and "What to do in your classroom the first couple of weeks."<P>Friday through Sunday I was in Palm Springs finishing up my Intel Teach to the Future training...this was the leadership component...I am now a fully trained 'master' teacher and will train 20 teachers in my district on how to integrate technology into their curriculum...each of us will put together a unit plan... there are many plans available already at <A HREF="http://www.intel.com/education/teachtech/lessonplans/index.htm" TARGET=_blank>http://www.intel.com/education/teachtech/lessonplans/index.htm</A> <P>Today I presented the Ruby Payne material to a school outside of my school district...my first presentation outside the district...It went well...I have been flirting with the idea of getting into the consulting business...I just have to package a couple of 'presentations' and see where it goes...<P>Somewhere in all this I was also a mother and wife (at least as much a wife as my H will allow me to be....)<P>Good luck, daybreak, with all of your challenges...it sounds as if you did very well (and are doing well) with meeting them...<P>Cali<P>------------------<BR><I>Live Impeccably In Your Word.<BR>Don't Take Anything Personally.<BR>Make No Assumptions.<BR>Do Your Best Always. </I><p>[This message has been edited by JustPlainCali (edited August 28, 2001).]

daybreak, so sorry to hear you are having such a tough day today!! Unfortunately, you can't control what your son does. Hey, I got engaged at age 16 1/2 and still with all our problems, I don't consider it a mistake, even with my husband's affair. I have 3 beautiful kids that I adore and I have learned alot... (I am 26 now - still with same man - for now).<P>Perhaps, you can just point him to this site? Say that you accept his decision and that you are happy for him, BUT, would he please consider reading everything he can on this site? It's one of the things you wish you had available to you years ago and it has really had a profound impact on your life. Tell him you trade your getting upset and blowing up at him with him agreeing to read and get educated... (you may also want to stress that this site will not try to talk him out of it or tell him he is too young - he won't listen to that!! - it is only here to strengthen his marriage, if that is what he so chooses)...<P>It's the best gift you can give you child.<P>Good luck. I hope your day/week gets better!!<BR>HbH

Thanks for the support cali and hbh,<P>I did a good job not blowing up when son finally got here today, and so did his grandma. But hbh I like your idea and will pass that along to him when the time is right, he is quite proud of himself right now and don't want to take that away from him. He says he did real good and got a nice saphire and diamond ring for less then a $100, I was so afraid it was going to be $$$$$ so that is good. We talked about the reasons that mom might be upset and why so that was good. I too got married so young and wouldn't listen so I know that I am not going to try and talk him out of it.If it is meant to be it will endure if not it will die a natural death.<P>Got an email from SIL and she said that she sent a nasty e mail to H (Her brother) about what he is doing, he had told me that she had e mailed him and would forward a copy of it to me, All she said that was he calmly answered her e mail after she had sent a firey one to him. I thought that was interesting. He called again tonight like he has ever night practically since he has left, am anxious for him to get to UT and see how things play out for him. and us!! I did send some cards to his PO box so he would have something in there, as the USPS screwed up our forwarding stuff and are sending everything to me, H and son have same first name different middle ones.<P>Cali, I am only an aide in the custodial special aide room at the HS, but I will pass on the info to the teacher I work for as he is into Technology and teaches at the college also. I am thinking I finally want to go to college, but don't think that I want to be a teacher but want to work in the school and with kids for sure. Will prob ably wait til 2nd semester as the first would be to hard right now with everything else going on.<P>Cali, I would say go for the consulting, for what you share with us here I think that you would bee an awesome presenter, we had someone come in for an inservice before school started on brain learning. She was good, but the way you share yourself and the way you write I know that you would speak the same way, and you would do an awesome job. GO girl!!<P>Again thanks for the support, even as bad as yesterday was there are those that are worse. Just keep smiling!! I do!!!<P>Dawn<p>[This message has been edited by daybreak (edited August 28, 2001).]