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Biggest one is something we use here at work with safety called "Take Two" Before you dive into trying to fix and issue step back and think about all the outcomes of each decision made
Jared
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Joined: Apr 2001
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I will tell you it is very strange that a woman would want to divorce a husband who is perfectly willing to resolve his problems. That doesn't make alot of sense. We typically have a very, very hard time persuading women to separate from men who are not willing to resolve intolerable behavior. It can take years, even in marriage with physical abuse. Dr. Harley is a clinical psychologist and founder of Marriage Builders; here is what he says about this: " I've seen so many spouses lie about affairs, that when one spouse wants a separation, my best guess is that he or she is having an affair. I'm right almost every time.
Why would anyone need to be alone to sort things out? It makes much more sense to think that being separated makes it easier to be with their lover. Granted, there are many good reasons for a separation, such as physical or extreme mental abuse. But of all those I've seen separate, most have had lovers in the wings." So you can see why I asked questions about possible infidelity. It usually is the case. I believe you have snooped but I would keep an open mind to the possibility.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Nov 2019
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Biggest one is something we use here at work around safety "Take Two" Basically before jumping into fixing something immediately step back and go through the outcomes of each decision.
Jared
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Joined: Apr 2001
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Biggest one is something we use here at work with safety called "Take Two" Before you dive into trying to fix and issue step back and think about all the outcomes of each decision made One of the most effective techniques we have used [and it worked for me] are relaxation techniques. When I feel anger coming on, I trained my mind to immediately RELAX, essentially rewiring my brain. After awhile it comes naturally because rage is no longer the immediate reaction to frustration. A person who feels RAGE is temporarily insane so the objective is to bypass the part of the brain that signals rage and go to the part of the brain that controls problem solving.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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So do I ask her again about it?
Jared
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So do I ask her again about it? The answer will be 'no' either way, so there's no use asking her. You need to find out yourself. If you meant asking about an affair.
Last edited by goody2shoes; 11/14/19 11:10 AM.
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So do I ask her again about it? She will say no. They always say no.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Nov 2019
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Jared
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Jared, do you have access to her phone bills? Have you checked the bills? Are you able to go back into your house?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Apr 2001
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If she is having an affair, we could help you save your marriage. We can help you either way, but the advice we give you will be completely ineffective is there is a hidden affair.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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