I work with computers for a living and always have. In order to get my wife more involved with my computer activities, I started teaching her how to use the computer and the Internet. Boy did this ever backfire on me. For the last year she spends more time online than she does with her own family. She is a stay home mom and spends every spare minute online. Whenever I bring up the subject, she gets upset and denies that there is even a problem. She use to work hard to have spare time to spend with the children and myself, but not anymore. As far as I can tell there is no cybersexual relationship involved. She is big into chat rooms, message boards, and online multi player games. My marriage is a wreck and she denies that this has anything to do with it… ARG! I don’t know where to start……. I understand that this might be the sysmtom of a deeper problem, but heck I can’t get her away from the internet long enough to discuss them. <BR>

If your wife is a stay-at-home Mom she - like most people who are home alone with children - is probably desperate for conversation and companionship. The problem may be that her needs are not being met and she's simply doing what anyone else would do, and finding someone to talk to. I have email pen pals I've never met, and I spend a lot of time talking with them on-line. New friendships are interesting and your wife is probably excited about them. If she does this to the point where she's not meeting the other responsibilities in her life, then that's something you need to discuss, but just being on-line a lot isn't abnormal - if it was half of the teenagers in this country would be committed.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by ranman:<BR><B>I work with computers for a living and always have. In order to get my wife more involved with my computer activities, I started teaching her how to use the computer and the Internet. Boy did this ever backfire on me. For the last year she spends more time online than she does with her own family. She is a stay home mom and spends every spare minute online. Whenever I bring up the subject, she gets upset and denies that there is even a problem. She use to work hard to have spare time to spend with the children and myself, but not anymore. As far as I can tell there is no cybersexual relationship involved. She is big into chat rooms, message boards, and online multi player games. My marriage is a wreck and she denies that this has anything to do with it… ARG! I don’t know where to start……. I understand that this might be the sysmtom of a deeper problem, but heck I can’t get her away from the internet long enough to discuss them. </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

Ranman....Again I cant believe the similarities in our situations, my wife is also a stay at home mom, whom I showed how to use the computer, and she went chatroom crazy, started staying up half the night, couldn't get enough of it, it nearly drove me crazy.<P>and of course I expressed my concerns that she would talk to some guy too long and start to have feelings for him, and things could escalate into an affair.<P>she got mad at me and told me I was being stupid, that it was just a computer. Promised me that she did not want to have an affair, and that no matter who she "danced" with, she would always come home with me.<P>well as you can imagine, she did fall for a guy she was talking with, and it lasted 2 years... they met in secret while the kids were in school, and I was at work.<P>Be careful, the internet is dangerous, it is too easy to be who ever you want to be, and you picture the people on the other end just the way you want to.<P>this really sucks doesn't it????

I do trust my wife, we have always been very honest with each other. I do not doubt that it is partially (almost all )my fault that she uses the Internet as an outlet. I was <B>not meeting her emotional needs</B>, and I understand the high stress level of being a stay home mom. I started off by handling this situation ALL WRONG. It was a major Love Buster for her to put the Internet higher than me in her priority list. But it was a bigger Love Buster to her when I would complain and nag her over it all night long. I feel certain that she gives me the chance to start meeting her emotional needs, that her time online will decrease and her time spent with me will increase. It took me a long time and a lot of praying to come to this conclusion, God just revealed this way of thinking to me over the weekend.<P>I do beleive that the Internet CAN be a dangerous place for couples, but it does not have to be.<P>Keep the faith,<BR>Ran