I am stuck in a situation that I am unsure of how to handle. I have been with the same man for ten years. Married almost seven of them. We have two beautiful children. While pregnant with the second child, my husband tells me he is not in love with me and want to separate. I find out that he is interested in another woman, he has called her, sent her flowers, and is seeking a relationship with her. Before finding this information out, I agree to stay a few days with a friend to give us time to think. He never looks back and before I know it we are at lawyers hashing over numbers.
I never gave up and after the baby was born, we began to talk again. He came back a few times. He told me that the relationship with the other woman was nothing more that a courtship and that he could never enter into a sexual relationship because he knew what it would do to me.
After a month of working through issues, we move back together. Things were not perfect, but we were able to talk and get through a lot of issues. Then I find out the truth about the relationship with the other woman. He was involved sexually for months and had claimed to love her.
When he came back the last time, he ended the relationship with her and got her transferred to another department. He claims that he loves me and that he doesn't want to lose me. He also states that he is a new person and that he enjoys the single life and being able to do what he wants too. I on the other hand feel that he married me and he should commit himself to this marriage and find happiness in our marriage. We are in counseling and are at least able to talk. We still love each other and I don't want to lose him again. Any help out there? Can he fall in love with me again? Is is worth the effort? HELP!!

Dear Loving
" He also states that he is a new person and that he enjoys the single life and being able to do what he wants too."

This is not right - he wants his cake and to eat it too - what does the counsellor say about his attitude?

I think you should tell him your bottom line - you deserve to have a husband totally committed
to you and your children = no OW,
Honestly I think he is a taker, he doesn't want to hurt you but likes to pursue other W and it will just be a matter of time before he finds someone else he would like to "court"

Please post in General Questions or Just Found Out -those two get alot more traffic and I am sure there will be others who will read your story and either have been there or have great advice. Good Luck, Sandy

<small>[ May 28, 2004, 06:53 AM: Message edited by: sl000 ]</small>