Jim,
<p>Join the club. I've been going through the same thing. This past week end we went off alone together. But this week you'd think I was a business partner. Tonight my wife asked me if I wanted sex. This irks the hell out of me. She knows I do.
<br>I told her that I was keeping my promise not to push her, and that I was keeping my promise not to badger her. But I cannot sit here and look happy while I feel like a single man and get little or no affectionate contact until next time for sex. Like any man I love sex but even I can't handle it on those terms. Thing is I know I'll cave.
<br>My wife has that same wall around her. The thing that drives me nuts is that she says she can tell I'm serious about doing things differently and that she can see definite changes in my behavior. Yet she stays behind that wall. And she said if I take her to a counselor I'll be wasting my time and money.
<br>Who can deal with such a defeatist attitude?
<br>My sister told me tonight I'll have to stick it out. Guess there is no choice if I want to try and keep her. But this is a grinder like I've never experienced. I'd almost take a bullet as a substitute if it would get me off this treadmill of suffering.

Robert: I think this is a legitimate need. You should not have to feel guilty for wanting this for your marriage. I do think that we need to keep "within reason" with the weight expectations...has she had kids? Does she work full time and take care of the kids and you at night? How much free time does she have to excercise? I am not defending her already, but you must look at these areas to see if there is something you can do to help her get on track with this. There are only so many hours in the day, and if she is overloaded with other responsibilities, maybe you could help her out a bid. Women often take care of themselves last, after everyone else... but she need to see that a great way to take care of you is to take the weight off and try to look attractive to you...

Hello all,
<br>the last few days have been pretty hard for me. Sometimes I just can't take the lack of affection from my wife. She is spending more and more time away from home now, spending it at the gym. She says she feels free there and loves to spend time with the girls. I keep thinking that it is another man that keeps her attention there, but when I bring up the subject she says no. She says maybe it would be easier for me or it would make more sense if there were someone else.
<br>This is getting more and more difficult to handle. I was trying to give her as much unrestricted space as possible while still living in the same house, hoping that she would show some signs of "wifely" consideration - if there is such a thing. But she tells me that if she didn't feel so guilty about leaving me at home with the baby, she would stay away longer because this is the life and these are the people she chooses to spend her time with right now. Its where she feels most comfortable. It's so hard to hold my head up and be OK when all I really want is for her to WANT to spend some time at home with me.
<br>My real hang up right now is whether or not she is telling me the truth about there not being another man. Her absense makes this so difficult.
<br>I wish this was over.
<br>I'm so tired of being the one spouse with all the love.
<br>I know I've told you all to not give up, but its days like these that make it easier to do so.
<br> Greg