FEMALE<P>28<P>3YEARS<P>He accuses me - I accuse him - But there is no Proof! Who Knows--It is almost over and won't make a difference.<P>No Kids, but he has one from a previous girlfriend which he doesn't take care of. So just another reason for me to get the hell out!<P>I post occasionally, but I really enjoy reading others posts more.<P>I have learned that you can't settle on your happiness.<P>You have to realize that problems may come up, but if you both try to work on them-you will have a prosperous marriage. <P>Going through Divorce right now, hopefully over if his attorney will ever reply back.<P>ADVICE: When you find someone, make sure you know who that person is and don't think that you will be able to change them.<P>

<small>[ August 08, 2004, 02:13 PM: Message edited by: laura_lee ]</small>

What is your gender?
FEMALE<p>How old are you?
29 YEARS OLD<p>How long were you married?
MARRIED FOR 7 YEARS -- WE HAVE BEEN DIVORCED FOR 1 YEAR AND 8 MONTHS -- NOW, WE HAVE BEEN ENGAGED TO GET REMARRIED FOR 9 MONTHS.<p>Are you a BS, a WS, or both?
BOTH. HE WAS SECRETLY TWO-TIMING, WHILE WE WERE DATING AGAIN AFTER THE DIVORCE IN 2000. I BECAME THE WS IN 2001.<p>Are there multiple infidelities in your situation?
HIS WAS JUST ONE LONG PA/EA FOR 9 MONTHS. MINE WAS A EA/PA (NO SEX) FOR 2 MONTHS.<p>Do you have children? How old are they?
NO. HOWEVER, THE OW DID GET PREGNANT, BUT SHE DECIDED TO HAVE AN ABORTION.<p>Do you post only on this section of the forum? If not, where else do you post?
NO, I ALSO POST ON IN RECOVERY AND SOMETIMES EN.<p>In the time you've been here at MB, what is the most important thing you've learned about yourself?
I WILL BE HAPPY WITH HIM AND I WILL BE HAPPY WITHOUT HIM.<p>In the time you've been here at MB, what is the most important thing you've learned about marriage?
DON'T GIVE UP TOO EASILY. EMOTIONAL NEEDS/LOVE BUSTERS. AND, FROM A BOOK THAT WAS RECOMMEND .... I LEARNED THAT WE SPEAK DIFFERENT LOVE LANGUAGES.<p>Are you married, in limbo of some kind, separated, legally separated and filed, or divorced?
DIVORCED AND ENGAGED TO GET REMARRIED<p>What one word of advice would you give someone who is new here?
TIME.<p>[ January 16, 2002: Message edited by: Jennidy ]</p>

What is your gender? <B>Male</B><P>How old are you?<B>38, 39 on 29 Dec</B><P>How long were you married? <B>still married, 16 years on 5 Oct</B><P>Are you a BS, a WS, or both? <B>BS</B><P>Are there multiple infidelities in your situation? <B>9 maybe 10</B><P>Do you have children? How old are they? <B>B 14, B 12</B><P>Do you post only on this section of the forum? If not, where else do you post? <B> where ever I feel I need to reply to someone or when I need to vent. I don't post a lot now.</B><P>In the time you've been here at MB, what is the most important thing you've learned about yourself? <B>I love God more with each new day!</B><P>In the time you've been here at MB, what is the most important thing you've learned about marriage? <B>That most people live in the fantasy world that Satan whispers in all of our ears.</B><P>Are you married, in limbo of some kind, separated, legally separated, separated and filed, or divorced (or something in between)? <B>Married until she leaves or I or she dies whichever comes first.</B><P>What one word of advice would you give someone who is new here? <B>Trust God for everything.</B> <P><P>------------------<BR><B><I>God Bless,<BR>Rob</I></B><BR> regilmor@swbell.net

39 year old Martian coupled 14 years and counting (for now, at least), no infidelity, 2 kids 8 and 10, only posted here.<P>I have learned that the only thing I can control, change, improve is me.<P>As for marriage, I think that I have learned that people are lazy and do not focus on what is truly important until it is too late.<P>My one word is two words-seek peace.<P>Currently separated, hoping to reconcile with S who feels otherwise.<P>

What is your gender? Female<P>How old are you? 40<P>How long were you married? 17 years<P>Are you a BS, a WS, or both? Both. H had an A last year. I died inside, but tried again. I asked for divorce 6 weeks ago, signed seperation agreement then I had an EA - still going on. Never thought I would go there.<P>Are there multiple infidelities in your situation? H says only 1, don't know for sure. Me - this one.<P>Do you have children? How old are they? No kids, 3 horses and a dog. <P>Do you post only on this section of the forum? If not, where else do you post? Mostly lurk, but GQ and DD. <P>In the time you've been here at MB, what is the most important thing you've learned about yourself? That I count. I don't have to walk on egg-shells. That I married an alcoholic who is controlling and has always been verbally abusive and that I can't change him, but I can protect and change myself. That I am co-dependent and need to work on that.<P>In the time you've been here at MB, what is the most important thing you've learned about marriage? That it takes two working at it. Not 50/50, but 100/100. Don't take each other for granted.<BR> <BR>Are you married, in limbo of some kind, separated, legally separated, separated and filed, or divorced (or something in between)? Divorce was final on my birthday 7/12/01. I'm happy. A big weight has been lifted. Should have done it years ago.<BR> <BR>What one word of advice would you give someone who is new here? Read all you can and learn from others experiences. Ask questions and pray for guidance.