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#797526 05/01/01 11:11 PM
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I have been amazed at the number of people who think that there is profound hatred here for the oc. I haven't seen anybody say anything negative about the oc. But one thought led to another, and I was reminded of a TV show I watch a while ago about a mother who would not consent to allow her child to be a marrow donor for the ill child of her husband's second marriage. So here is a hypothetical scenario. I think it might be interesting for all of us to think about and see how we would respond.<P>****************************<BR>The oc has been stricken with luekemia. The only chance of survival lies in bone-marrow replacement. The oc has a rare blood type and there are no donors in the national donor data bank. The mother has already been ruled out as a potential donor, as has her family and your h. YOUR child, however, is a perfect match, and you have been asked to give permission for the extraction surgery. Here's the set-up:<BR>1. The surgery cannot take place without your permission. <P>2. Without this bone marrow from your child, the oc will die - with it, the oc has a great chance of survival. <P>3. The procedure would be very painful for your child, and he/she will have lasting scars from it.<P>4. As with any surgery, there is a risk of complications.<P>So what would you do? would you give or withhold permission for the bone-marrow extaction?<P>-cd<p>[This message has been edited by cdcollins (edited May 01, 2001).]

#797527 05/01/01 11:24 PM
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That is a very good question...and even me...had to think...if it were my 9 or 12 y/o I would ask him/her and if they agreed I would allow him/her to save the childs life...they too will endure pain...but I have no doubt they would say yes (even if it were not their sister.. but just someone who needed to live)...Now if it were my 14 month old...I dont know..I would need reassurance...but I pobably would...the biggest risk is anestheia and infection ( which are very low for the donor)..Good question...made me sick in the pit of my stomach...<P>My Cross

#797528 05/01/01 11:33 PM
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Dear Mycross,<BR>Oops, didn't mean to make you feel sick! sorry about that. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>But it is a thought-provoking question, isn't it?<BR>cd

#797529 05/01/01 11:41 PM
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Honestly I would say no, not just because it is oc but I would not want my children to go through that, I want nothing to do with oc and sorry to say that means in anyway possible and I have thought of this scenario before I have had 4 years to think! I don't mean to offend anyone just my personal thoughts and feelings

#797530 05/01/01 11:48 PM
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The OC would have it in a heart beat. The OC is my child. Not by blood, but by love. I love him as I love my own. He will always have what my other kids have. I've waivered on this in the past, but then I woke up. Not the OC's fault, 'to him that knoweth to do good and doeth it not it is sin'.<P>Good Luck and God Bless<P>------------------<BR>1Co:2:4: And my speech and my preaching was not with enticing words of man's wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power:<BR>1Co:2:5: That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.

#797531 05/01/01 11:55 PM
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Fizzpop,<BR>here is a question...for you...if it were one of YOUR children that needed the donation to live...and the only match was OC...then what would you expect?? Just a twist to the poll..it comes dowm to the golden rule<BR>

#797532 05/01/01 12:03 PM
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Absolutely not, until my children are old enough to decide for themselves if they want to go through with this. It is their little bodies. I would not have them now go on a donor registry or whatever it is and that is exactly what they would be doing just donating to a stranger. I could never risk pain and the lives of my own children for a stranger.

#797533 05/01/01 12:10 PM
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c.d.,<BR>Yes I would agree to it unless my child was old enough to decide for herself and didnt want to. But I think if it came down to something like this she would. I would even go as far as to tell our child about oc if I had to because of a life or death situation,and you know how I feel about that. with love flowerseed

#797534 05/01/01 12:16 PM
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<BR>Paul! Long time no hear, dude! What's up on your end???<P>Bystander

#797535 05/01/01 12:20 PM
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well CD I guess you have your ans..of how I could EVER think that people hated (dislike the OC)...did you notice that no one reponded to my question...if is was turned around and OC needed to save your child??....could happen they are related...and I know how desprate it is to want to save your child (been there...different board)...do they dislike OC so much that they would never allow OC to donate to their child??? and allow them to die??...you never ans your on question CD would you allow your children??...I am kinda in shock here...I actually thought I had misread all those post...or maybe read something in them that was not there...I dont think I need to show anybody anything...they just need to read this thread...how I ever came to that conclusion...we ARE NOT TALKING OW...we are talking about children...funny I know my oldest 2 would do it in a heatbeat...even if they did not have a connection...because it would save a child ( I raised them to love) ...This saddens me

#797536 05/01/01 12:44 PM
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my dear mycross, you caught me. I didn't answer my own question because I truthfully didn't want to sway the answers one way or another. But after a LOT of thought, here is my take on it:<P>If i had NEVER met oc, I think I *might* have honestly said no to the procedure. However, I have seen oc, I have sung songs with her, I have pushed her on a swing, I have had her little chubby arms wrapped around my neck. Of course, I would say yes. (Regardless of her conception, I actually liked oc very much during the brief time I had to get to know her. I am hoping that liking oc comes as easy for me this time as it did last time I saw her.) <P>Mycross, don't get so worked up about the negative answers. I think you are reading too much into them. I have to admit, that even though I would agree to have one of my children be the donor, it would still be a heart-wrenching choice to put my own children through that. And if I had never met oc, if I had never bonded with her - then would I be so willing to possibly sacrifice my child's health for a "strange" child? I'm not sure that I would. I still don't see any hate for the oc here, mycross, just a lot of people who want to protect their own children.<P>But these tough questions hit a nerve any way you look at it, don't they?<P>As for your twist in the question - absolutely I would want oc to be a donor for my child if the situation was reversed. I don't feel badly for feeling this way, since I would let my child donate for her. <BR>-cd

#797537 05/01/01 12:56 PM
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MyCross,<BR>I do not see what your problem is with the answers. I was beginning to believe in you now you got me wondering again.

#797538 05/01/01 01:03 PM
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How could you not see it...you are saying you would allow an innocent child to die...BUT NO there is no hatred for OC here...and because I do not agree with you...I am not who I say I am...well it hurt the first time it was said here...but you know what...if you have to believe that to make YOU feel better ...because my comments are HUMAN..and I feel the way GOD would want me to feel I am sorry...you never ans MY question..if OC was the only match for your child...than what????...we would not OC to suffer to save your baby...or risk infection...because you are a fair person...and I am not real (your words)...it is not worth ans...NO because you know you would want OC to save your child if it was turned around...anyway MY REAL BABY IS CRYING GOTTA GO...

#797539 05/01/01 01:12 PM
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You better reread my reply sweetie. You seem to think if its not what you think then its hate it dose not work that way. sorry its not hate

#797540 05/01/01 01:29 PM
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I'm sure my son would be a doner. We had a 31 yr. old cousin and father of 3 and husband to one, die of leukemia even after his sister donated bone marrow.<P>Because of that I would be a doner too....<P>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

#797541 05/01/01 01:41 PM
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I am not replying to be negative to anyone, I just want everyone to cool off for a minuet. If you go back and re-read the posts, you will see that there was only one answer of no. All the other answers were in the positive, some had conditions, such as letting the child decide, or only if the child was old enough to decide. Yes, CD poses tough questions, and if I were in your situations, I honestly don't know how I would answer. Now, if Abbi's half sister(OM's D) needed help in that way, I would do it, if her mother would let me. Now, as far as I know, they have no idea about Abbi, and I hope to keep it that way. It is a though decision whether the person needing the transfusion is a full sibling, half sibling, or a complete stranger!<P>I just want to point out that even Flowerseed, who is one of the women on this board who don't want to have anything to do with the OC, stated that she would help out, and even tell her D about the OC. If you have read very much from past posts, and I mean ones from over 3 mos ago, you would see that she may not want to be involved in this child's life, but is willing to help her out, if it was necessarry. <P>PLEASE!!!! Let's take the time to actually read these posts for what they are actually saying. I have read this thread many times since CD posted it, and it may be a tough situation to think about, but everyone has answered it honestly, from what I can see. We really are here to help eachother, and also it is a place to vent those feelings that can destroy our marriages, if left to simmer in order to avoid LBing. I actually saw a lot of unconditional love in most of the posts regarding the OC. <P>How about we just start over, and stop the accusing of eachother. We are all here to give and receive help from eachother. What we offer is advice, and in the wise words of my father, from many years ago, "Advice is free, you can either take it or leave it." If you don't agree, please don't attack, just ignore and read on. There are many times when I read something that I don't agree with, and I just ignore it. Like I said in my other thread, why can't we just go back to where we were 2 months ago? Let's help eachother, and in the process, help our selves.<P>Love,<P>Tigger

#797542 05/01/01 01:45 PM
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Things are on the down swing Bystander [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] Oh well

#797543 05/01/01 01:52 PM
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Ladies, Ladies, In the words the words of Rodney King, "Can't we all just get along", LOL. Sorry, just trying to lighten the mood. CD that was a really good question, and very thought provocing. I also love the switch question that Mycross brought up. Can we get more answer, I am very interested. If I was in both sides I would say yes!

#797544 05/01/01 01:57 PM
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MyCross:<P>I'm really confused at where you see all the "hate". Seriously. <P>Here's another twist to the question. You have a 14 month child who's the match to a complete stranger. Do you do the donation? How about 50 strangers? Do you do it 50 times?<P>Most of the answers in the negative haven't been centered around the OC---it's been centered around the ability of the child to give consent, and protection of the child from the pain and potential complications. These aren't easy questions, and frankly, I don't believe that you can truly answer them unless faced with the actual situation.

#797545 05/01/01 02:02 PM
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nevermind<p>[This message has been edited by flowerseed (edited May 01, 2001).]

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