Hi dadoftheyear,
OMG! Something just occurred to me while reading your post. Infidelity causes turmoil for everyone involved... well, maybe?<p>BS turmoil could be feeling total devastation and trying to figure out how much of the marriage was true or a lie, confused about whether to leave or stay while WS waffles--or if WS returns, how to forgive and heal or move forward...If an OC is in the picture, we've got major turmoil for the BS as no contact with OP means BS must step up to the plate... yikes...<p>WS in love with OP turmoil could be feelings of confusion while trying to figure out the definition of love and commitment and whether or not they married the right person to begin with.<p>WS wanting to save their marriage turmoil could be feelings of shame and unforgiveness toward themselves, lost about what exactly will prove they are trustworthy, how to regain mate's confidence and belief in them... (?)<p>Single OM turmoil--Hmmm... IS there any? Doubt it... unless they believe they are in love with the married person or married person is their "soulmate"... *cough*gag*<p>Single OW turmoil--Hmmm... (see Single OM turmoil--UNLESS she is pregnant!)<p>Pregnant OW/WS turmoil--Keep the baby, kill the baby, what will people/family think and/or say? Whose baby IS this anyway? What to do about CS? File or not to file? Tell MM or not tell? and on and on and on...<p>OC turmoil is major identity crises that hit them throughout life, as babies, teenagers, and certainly as adults, as infidelity never goes away--it's the gift of pain that just keeps on giving to everyone for years and years. There are always constant reminders and triggers to overcome for EVERYONE involved.<p>Family members' turmoil is feeling hurt because the ones you love are hurting. This includes parents, grandparents, children and in-laws of those involved in affairs. That is, if they even know what's going on... <p>Sometimes I imagine some of my family members view my OC through eyes that are screaming, "[censored]!" If that is not a tormenting thought to overcome I don't know what the heck IS!! [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I can't say for sure what is really what, only for certain about the pregnant OW & OC category, as I fell into that one and dragged my firstborn along for the entire ride. Just some thoughts from an xOW who is now a married MBer in affair-proof mode...<p>[ January 04, 2002: Message edited by: BINthereDUNthat ]</p>