1. The science of really BIG HAIR.

2. Nekkid left coasters...ewwwwww!

3. Yankees! Gotta love 'em. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

4. The secret hand shake...booty shake... Woo Hoo! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

5. Me <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Of Course.

6.

Dream on, yankeeboy! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />


6. TEXAS!!! **snort** <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Which store has the best price on AquaNet!

Naw that aint it, here's the real list!

1. TEXAS
2. Why Pepsi is #2 to Coke
3. Why Texans are far superior to non-Texans
4. Being Southern
5. Really BIG hair
6. Why would anyone want to be non-Texan
7. Gun Totin' Texans and why we all need em

The list goes on and on, these are the ones I think are important though.

There are also coaching sessions available for a nominal fee in any of the above mentioned Issues.

Coming soon to a private board near you:

How to get over not being a Texan.

G'day

Great list, Eagle!

Hey now, you forgot my pichers of Texas pet transportation! click here <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Lord...Now I see why that ego hasn't anything to do with it for me.

I just don't fit their very strict criteria.. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

I don't have big hair...

I ain't no left coaster...

If'n I was accused of being a yankee...well, them's fighting words...

I try not to shake the booty too much...at least not in public.. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

You? Yeah.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Yes, it's all come to light for me.

committed

Well, how big is your gun, hunny? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Well, how big is your gun, hunny?

Which one?

Well, I haven't had no call to shoot anything for a month of Sundays now.

It's just as well...the aim is tooooo good.

committed

Cool Pet transport, True Texas style.

This is my weapon and this is my gun, one is for fighting and one is for fun! Bad question.

As for me I have no hair, I am from the left coast, but transported to the south and damn glad of it, got lots of weapons, only 1 gun, a Harley, a really quick Z-28, 2 pick ups, and 2 SUVs, don't like bein 'cused of bein a yankee, drink diet coke, might like to live in Texas, just not Witchita Falls (TexOman's??? what's up with that), more like the outskirts (east) of Dallas or thereabouts. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

I'd like to add to the list, if I may:

1. Suzet
2. Big K.
3. Starfish

Ha, ha, ha!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

I don't mean to offend... just poking a little fun.

The fact is, this is a support group. If we had a face-to-face support group, certain members would click and connect with other members, and might get together outside of meetings for coffee, lunch, etc. It's not a diss on other members... it's just the nature of a group.

It saddens me to think that people on this board are offended or feel excluded in some way. I hope they realize that they are loved and respected here, and not being included on another board has nothing to do with who they are or what they are going through in their lives.

And FYI, I am not a member of Mel's exclusive little club, either... humph! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

KM

The Dollar Store.
Aisle 4, Big Hair supplies.
BOGO! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Someone needs to get on the horn to the Dollar Store Corporate Office and let them know that they can expect a "run-on" today. Man the registers!!!<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

committed

well, that is an exercise in wishful thinking because everyone knows those flatheaded yankeegals, who need it the MOST, sure aren't going to use it! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

[b]Ba .... pass the crack pipe back to Star*fish

Pep The Nekkid

PUHLeeeeeeze! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Passing crack pipe to ~~~~~~>> MEL! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Don't fergit the **britches.

And me. If you're not talking about me, I'm not trying hard enough.

British National Holidays perhaps?

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I know what SHOULD be a topic there...How many years has Mel's MB signature said that she is 48? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/ooo.gif" alt="" />

Anyone? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

shaddup!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Welllll... Dawgies, that many, huh? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I feel personally "attacked" by your meaness and my emotional self esteem is RUINT!! You are SO MEAN!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" />

sniff..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" />

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! LMAO!!! I'm not mean...you're just a sissy!!!!

Mrs. W <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

There shall be no SYMC bashing on my thread.

So sayeth a Yankee!
So let it be done!

7. 101 ways to prepare catfish.

8. How to pack a big gun widdout shootin yer eye out!

9. Hood ornaments.

Okay, I am really mad here, now. Mel has a private board and me, a TEXAN (okay not native but I got here as fast as I could), didn't even know about it - Man oh man, my feelings are hurt, I think I'll just stop posting - you all are SO mean! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

BB

Pish Tosh!!! Fiddle Dee Dee!!! And Frankly my dear I don't give a dayum!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

So Sayeth a HELLE's BELLE!!!

Mrs. W<~~~Happily Married to one a you Scallywag Carpetbaggers!<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

As if Mel would let a non-native Texan with the name of another country in their ID onto her board.

Change yer moniker and ya might stand a chance.

Actually, I chose that name because of XH's nationality....(shhhhh don't tell anyone, but I'm a Yankee by birth - that's even worse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

BB

BB...

Repeat after me...AMERICAN BY BIRTH AND SOUTHERN BY THE GRACE OF GAWD!!! Repeat until you convince yerself! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W

Seems you and I have sumptin in common BB.

Other than a great sense of style...

I think they exchange yardbird recipes myself....

I hear tell!! Hey now, I have INVITED YOU TO MY HOUSE, Missy!! so dere'! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Oh, yeah!!!!! In fact, I plan on coming the next time the winds are bearing down on us!!! Okay, I don't feel left out anymore!

BB

Eagle stated
I think he missed the fact that they sit around

Dunkin their powdered donuts in DR. PEPPER.

discussin the best receipeeeee for Hush Puppies and Catfish.

Note to Eagle Pepsi and Coke are NOT in...in Texas it is Dr. Pepper all of the way. Right Mel?

Dr. Pepper, big hair and Hookum Horns. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> Well OK, there is beer. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Long live the longneck!

JL

JL, bite your tongue!!! That is blasphemy! It is:

PEPSI, Big Hair and HOOKEM HORNS!!

DR PEPPER IS EVIL!!! It is not allowed in my house!! During Hurricane Rita, I made my refuge brother from Houston leave his stinking DP in da car!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mel<----guess where she works??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Then there is hope for you yet. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Dr Pepper is to Texas what CheeseHeads are to a Packer fan.

What kinda Texan are you? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

10. Armadillos...'specially dead ones.

you be speakin some BAD SMACK, MISTER!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> Don't make me open this: click here <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

dead armadillos = possum on the half shell to a texan

Pepsi???? Oh my gosh! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Reminds me of a friend of my W's parents. He grew up dirt poor, had a 3rd grade education. His folks left him some very poor land in East Tx. in the 1920's. Yup, you guessed it, it had "earl" on it. He invested in a rather new company named Coke Cola, around 1930 or so.

Whenever she visited his house when she was a little girl, all she could get to drink was Coke, of course she was a Dr. Pepper fan being a good Tx girl. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> She still tells this story.

Now I must say, that she does now drink diet Pepsi...some. But, her drink of choice is still Dr. Pepper. Whenever we head back down there, it is catfish and hush puppies with DP one night and then out to the hill country for BBQ the next. Been awhile but I don't see the plan changing much. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Long Live the Longneck,

JL

bunch'amorons

EVERYONE knows Texas is awl 'bout

the REAL Texas drink! <~~ click on dis

Mr Pep's parents grew up in Texas ... so i know all 'bout this drink.

[color:"red"] PEP [/color]

Well now Missy,

Big Red was big in Oklahoma too. So you be careful now. As a kid, that was about all you get out of the filling station cooler was big Rid, Orange Crush, and grape soda pop. I think it was really true all through the plains states in those days before vending machines. Just ice chests with those soft drinks.

Thanks for the article. Haven't read Tx Monthly in a long time but always loved it. Loved the political articles, as politics is a 'contact' sport in Texas. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

JL

BIG RED?? Someone be smokin some BAD CRACK!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

BWHAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Ba .... LOVE the name change of this thing

"roadhouse" indeed!

Pep

Hillary for President!!! (ducking for cover)

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Yeah...Hilary Duff <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

That girl sorely needs an [censored] whooping! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Only if you can get past my protesting sign...

Honey, I will use that sign for target practice! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mel<--------locked and loaded, baby!

Now if you truly wanted to be Texan, you'd have called it Mel's Icehouse. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

BB

Mel is just so crazy <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Pep

Flattheaded, am I? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Personally, I'm fond of Mel's CatHouse...I think the double meaning is quite fitting! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

MRS!!!!!!!

I'm shocked!

Appalled!

Flabbergasted!

meow?

I have got to get better reading glasses. I looked at the thread title and thought it said "Mel's Texas Roundhouse," and thought to myself, "Oh, boy, another knockout punch is on the way!" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

t&l

I believe that is a compliment coming from a loony left coaster!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Land of fruits and nuts! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Well Kimmy, here's the sign...<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Admittedly, the other meaning could just be a RUMOR...But I dunno...<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

And I STILL don't know where Texas is!!!
It doesn't seem to be a very large place does it??

About the size of a national park or something like that?

But then I am used to the larger places I guess. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Dr Pepper ??? what the?

A REAL drink

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

The last cat who wandered onto the MelodyLane premises:

go ahead, make my day! <img src=...ns/grin.gif" alt="" />

will someone please ban this silly foreigner!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

At least we don't let dingoes eat our babies!!! That foolishness would not be tolerated!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

They had that picture up at the SO in Rockport.

To hear them tell it, you'd think baby Texans could eat dingos! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

t&l

But its wild country!!

you just have to accept the odd Croc, or White Pointer, or Dingo, or Snake gets a bit hungry ....oh and lets not forget teh Drop Bears urrrrrggg

it why we have a tourist industry!!!

Dingo
Drop Bear
Crocs


we hate to see the poor buggers go hungry!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

I wouldn't recommend that... the meat is very stringy and tastes a bit gummy <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


Gummy = Gamey with Urrrrrrr uck <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Now there's a doctored photo if'n I've ever seen one...Here's the REAL picture And believe me Mel was shakin' in her HOT PINK cowboy boots!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

P.S. AW, THAT WAS A FUNNY PICTURE!!! LOL!!!<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Better than Fosters, I'll bet!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

[color:"blue"] *thud* [/color]

Hi Mrs W!!


I bet Big Red tastes better than Fosters!! Thats just plain nasty stuff, a Bud is far better.

Of course I like REAL beer like Boags Real Beer ..but not too much ,,wine..now I LOVE wine ... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

bwahahahaaa! As I always say, never bring a knife to a GUNFIGHT!! Notice who is here and .............who ain't! **snort** <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Baby Texans do eat dingos, it's called BBQ. Woooo Hoooo!

A little sauce cooked slow over an open fire, a little mesquite for flavor and Wa La, BBQ.

What?
I leave for just a few hours, and now they're speaking Dutch on the left coast?
Well, at least they're writing it <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
I would love to hear you pronounce "verwittigd" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

"verwittigd" How's that? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

we call dat BRISKET!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> hat tip to da' Eagle! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Not bad, Eagle15 !
But then again I forgot to turn on the sound <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />
Potvolkoffie !

Don't do it brownhair...Eagle didn't make that noise with his mouth! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Did Too!

Maybe??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

[color:"blue"] ja adelwijn potvolkoffie it all! jaja, en gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanu feesje bouwe gewoon bierkelder forever! was zo ne gast dieje begon iedreen flugel uit te dele kvr

[/color]

Eagle, considering your 2nd sig line...
Don't start with Dutch..

[color:"blue"] De bedoeling is gewoon het liedje dat je op dit moment aan het luisteren bent, hiervan de naam en uitvoerder hier te plaatsen, komt iedereen ook wat over elkaars muzieksmaak te weten [/color]

Wow Pep!
You're fluent in Flemish AND Dutch!
Though you lost me with the flugel (that's German) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

[color:"blue"] Waar kan ik de data voor deze examenperiode vinden??
Alé kan zijn dat die er nog ni opstaan, ma ik wil zkrheid [/color]

Then again..
me thinks you're a wiz with the copy and paste button <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
You're gonna have to translate it to really impress me !

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

spreken zij het Nederlands in Texas???

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> right back at ya sista..
And trust me, I would have stopped you if you'd been saying stuff that normally would be censored on this site <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

MEDC, running stuff through translation engines doens't count !
You naughty, naughty boy ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Only silly furriners have mastered this art.
And then - only some of them.
A very small part of them, actually <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/ooo.gif" alt="" />

&#25216;&#34899;&#26159;&#25105;&#30340;&#26379;&#21451;!

Technology is my friend!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

It appears as though we do not support Chinese symbols!

Hey, no need to start swearing !
I can even tell you what you typed in English to get that Dutch result <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

No Habla

Hmmm...Well then...Maybe something is wrong with the smell-a-vision feature on my computer then! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W<~~~~~>offers Tic Tac to Eagle <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Texas Road House...???

this place sucks. the food is cold, the service is slow, and where the ****** is Patrick Swayze??

what a rip.

Actually, it's the Texas Roadkill House.
As in "You kill it, we grill it !"

So if you brought nuttin' with ya.. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
Go out and kill something ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

If I kill Biggles can we eat him? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W

Sure if you think Biggles is edible.

Thanks for the Tic-Tacs (plural), I've found my altoids now and all is well.

If you do eat Biggles I'll have to give you some altoids, Tic-Tacs won't do it. LOL

I'm thinkin' just about anything is edible with some BBQ sauce on this thread...LMAO...About your above quote...Truer words have never been spoken!!! I'm also thinkin' that I might have a need for a pressure washer and the Roto Rooter Man as well after such an undertaking...CODE SCARY <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

** Brownhair doing a quick Google search for Altoids **
OK, got it.
I'll stick to Fishermen's Friends. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

ROFLMAO Mrs W! Pressure washer and Roto-Rooter LOL

BWAAAHHHAAAAAHAAAAAA

By the way Pep,
I have noticed you've fallen *thud* off your chair repeatedly..
Might have something to do with sitting nekkid?
Something that can never happen to me..
Even if I try..
'coz I'm a silly FURRYner <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

No way, not Nederland! My company had an office in Nederland... What a hole! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> Like Beaumont wasnt bad enough... the burbs of Beaumont? BLAHHH


Topics of discussion:

6. Cockroach remedies
7. Pecan Pie recipes
8. The friggin heat and humidity
9. Where to get the cheapest beer

And.. for the record: BUSH aint from TEXAS! Neither was his father. They're a bunch of friggin YANKEE's from MAINE. People assume that since I'm from Texas that I must LOVE Bush <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> There were no BUSH's when I was in TX.

Long live Ann Richards!

Ann Richards!

I have been completely UN-nekkid for almost 24 hours.

Pep

Hey, maybe one of you Baja Oklahomans can answer my burning question...

PeTe's Cajun BBQ house in Houston got bought and changed 2 "The Roadhouse" or something like that...

Why????

My GAWD, WHY?????

What do they serve at "roadhouses"? Asphalt sandwiches??

-ol' 2long

AAARGHH <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> !!

Drucilla..
The Netherlands isn't Belgium !
Mortal insult to anyone living in Belgium !
Officialy both countries speak "Nederlands" but that's as far as the comparison goes !

Poor Mr Pep. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

BWHAaaaaaaaaaaaa

Nederland, TX.. it's in Texas, a suburb of Beaumont. Famous for the Klu Klux Klan! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Nothing at ALL to do with the Netherlands.

link: Nederland, TEXAS

This IS a Texas thread... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Sorry Dru.
I'll take you off my hitlist ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

2long,

2bad about PeTe's... see the article from the Press. Seems the kid took over for the dad and closed it.

[b]link: Rustic Pe-Te's closes after decades of keeping Gulf Coast music traditions alive[/b]

We're up to 11.

Keep up ya doofus left coaster! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Much abliged! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> (yankees: google it!)

Nope, BA... some of those are just stoopid...

[color:"blue"]1. TEXAS[/color] Nope, not discussed. There is nothing outside the world of TEXAS, so discussing Texas specifically doesnt happen

[color:"blue"]2. Why Pepsi is #2 to Coke[/color] Sorry, Mel's a Company Man... it really is Dr. Pepper. PEPSI was invented in the NORTH (Carolina <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />). Coke in Atlanta. Dr. Pepper in TEXAS!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

[color:"blue"]3. Why Texans are far superior to non-Texans[/color] Again, universal truths are seldom discussed and never debated

[color:"blue"]4. Being Southern[/color] see #3

[color:"blue"]6. Why would anyone want to be non-Texan[/color] this NEVER comes up

[color:"blue"]8: How to pack a big gun widdout shootin yer eye out![/color] Common knowledge to any Texan over the age of 4. NOT a topic of discussion

Y'all forgot some very important ones:

11. why foreigners are so silly

12. why yankees are so silly

13. why do yankeegals run around flatheaded when there is Aquanet available? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

14. how do ya cook a good brisket?

15. Canadians and Okies are too dang polite

16. why do silly foreigners let dingoes eat their babies?

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

and the most imporant topic of discussion:

WHO THE HALE IS JUSTUSS????? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I can one up ya' Dru, we have one in Port Arthur. I was in Texas 4 days when I was graced with the opportunity of going to our Port Arthur facility. Now keep in mind I am a Yankee by birth...The guy I went with is from the NW originally but had been in TX a while. He drove. It took us 4 hours to get from Houston to Port Arthur because he got us lost. We came in through Sabine Pass. Stopped at a Chevron station to ask directions to our hotel. While there, my co-worker also asked for directions to the best restaurant in town...She told us first go to the restaurant because it was "just out the causeway" and, then, when we were done eating go to the hotel. Her directions told us to turn left at the Chevron station that is about 2 miles down the road...

First the restaurant - formica table tops with a garbage can next to each table and a roll of paper towels on the table. The ONLY thing on the menu was shelled seafood or frog legs. Since I am allergic to seafood, I had to eat frog legs. I thought I had died and gone you know where...

We ventured our way toward our hotel following the attendant's directions...We just a block or so down the road and there's a Chevron station. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> Okay, we knew she said about 2 miles down the road, so we decided to go a little further...next block, another Chevron station....there's a Chevron station on EVERY corner in Sabine Pass!!!! Sooooo, we stopped for directions again. This time we got an old guy with few teeth. He told us go a mile down the road to "sandy fish street." My co-worker asked him to repeat what he said, again he said "sandy fish street." We both heard him but thought hmmmm. Co-worker asked him to repeat again and the guy said the same thing. Finally, my co-worker asked the guy, "Excuse me, but what kind of fish street." The guy replied by making the number 75 in the air and saying, "sandy fish street."!!!! I will also tell you all Holiday Inn's are NOT created equal!!!!

Our meetings were equally intriguing because I was the ONLY woman in a meeting of about 75 men!

Ahhhh, yes, lovely Port Arthur!

Regards,

BB

oh... that's sebendy-fy, not sandy-fish... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Sandy-fish would have confused me, too. LOL.

Ditto on the all male meetings. About once ever 10 minutes one of them would say something obnoxious, then look at me and say, 'pardon my French' <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />. I've managed to miss Froglegs, but I've had rattlesnake!



I got my Justuss... packed away in my purse <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />. It was so odd to realize that women in California didnt have revolvers in their purses. They all had such tiny bags, I figured they must all carry Darringers! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Fine Texas Head Wear

and perfectly aged, mind you.

Say what?? Those silly left coast gals aren't packing any heat?? What if they have to shoot someone?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Dru:

I was in Houston for a conference the very week after PeTe's closed.

All of NASA was in a tailspin over that. Some of us still are!

-ol' 2long

My W forwarded me this joke this morning. We MUST be in recovery!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Southern Grandma

Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.

He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."

-ol' 2long

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! 2long, that's funny!!! Mr. W is an attorney and I'm Southern with one of those grandmas...We'll take it under advisement!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

2Long **snort** <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Why is my TEXAS ROADHOUSE crawling with yankees, left coasters and silly foreigners??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Well Mel, you know what you get when you cross any of the above mentioned folks with a hawg doncha?



NOTHIN'...There are some things that even a HAWG won't do!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />



Mrs. W <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Mel:

That does it! I want 2 see your green card! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

-ol' 2long

hunny, the only "green card" I have is called AMERICAN EXPRESS!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Well...

...There you go! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

-ol' 2long

Add this silly furriner to your list. Us Kiwis are very polite.

2Long,

ROFLMAO Tooooo Funny

\
I have to agree, you Kiwi's do have some politeness issues. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

So they can write movie scipts, sell the rights to Hollywood and retire to live in TEXAS with a toy boy. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

and

we have strong reasons to believe she came originally from Gun Barrel City, TEXAS <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Employees in a medium-sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the smell of a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the building, extinguishing all potential sources of ignition lights, power, etc. After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas company were dispatched.

Upon entering the building, they found they had difficulty navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the lights worked (you can see what's coming, can't you?). Witnesses later described the sight of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object that resembled a cigarette lighter. Upon operation of the lighter-like object, the gas in the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles away.

Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter was virtually untouched by the explosion. The technician suspected of causing the blast had never been thought of as 'a bright spark' by his peers. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

just like a silly foreigner to blame a TEXAN because they let dingoes eat their babies! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> FOREIGNERS!!

Oh for crying out loud. I was determined to stay off of this retarded Texas thread this time but dangit the untruth's being spouted here finally got the best of me.



Mel, once and for all,

I do not have flat hair. I have a mane of hair that songs are written about... that has inspired poetry of the most beautiful caliber. I mean it dang near puts the sun and moon to shame.

So get off of your yankee flat hair kick already.

geesh! It's enough to make this yankee girl go to Texas with a measuring tape and see just how poofy your hair is.

AW,

ROFLMAO! Must have been Gas guys (Technicians) from Oklahoma. (Texan wannabes)

Lord how I wish we could get some Okies in here.

ahhhhhhhhhhh, go eat a pasty, ya silly yooper! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Actually I made a whole batch of those little New Orleans meat pies and brought one to work today. YUM!

You know the little meat pies that have a roux base and are very spicy.

Youx doux know how toux doux a roux, Mel?

I cornfess

I am justass

Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Psst Pep...

never, ever use the corn word around Texans.

uh, why not?

Justass

shaddup, weaver! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Ahemmmmmm


It's Just Uss

NOT

Just A**

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Give her hale, Justuss!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Pep got Busted, Pep got Busted

LOL!

well ... I am an A (off & on)

so I claim it

TRUTH IN ADVERTISING

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> ~~~> JustPepAss

... JPA ??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

rumoured to live in .....

Looneyville Texas ... hehehehehe <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

anywhere near Pee Pee Gas Station ??...
I wonder if it's recycled fuel? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Pep is NOT
Justuss
or
Justass

Love the joke, 2L... already sent it down South to the very few of my relatives who are email-savy. Most are still trying to figure out the microwave.



It's a crying shame, to be sure. I'm down to carrying one of those Rambo knives under the seat of my car <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />.

Great. Pep got us in trouble. Everyone say, 'Thanks, Pep.' <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Hey, Weaver - I've got a few relatives in Okla, too. Going down in a few months for a visit. Wish me luck, there's not even a Starbuck in their town <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> - Dru

It's ok Sage_MB, we're not paranoid.
Pepanoid - maybe <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
Paranoid - nope <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Although.. now we've had 2 Texas Rangers on this thread <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

* Silly Furriner wearily enters Roadhouse *
* swing doors creak * <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Ellooo...
Is there anybody here? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

The Roadhouse is CLOSED for remodeling!

GO HOME!

Could it reopen as a natural foods market?

I'm running low on tofu and incense...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

[Lights some Nag Champa.. accept no substitues!]

damn hippies! SCRAM! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Cough, cough...GAG...I smell patchouli and sandalwood! How could you let this happen Mel??? *thud*

Mrs. W <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

** door is open... no-one here? **
** stumbling over unconscious body of MrsWondering **
** Brownhair extinguishes burning candles **

You people are just too weird!
Can't hold your liquor, can you? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Oh I love that combination. I have no idea what Noodle is smoking and Brown is drinking though...that's worrisome.

I need some natural lipgloss that plumps and reddens my lips...does anyone have a recipe for such an item?

I tried to make some myself the other day and boyoboy did it plump and reddin them. Trouble was I was in so much pain I could barely move them.

I took a bit of carmex into my palm, added a shake or two of ground cayanne pepper, mixed it all together and rubbed it into my lips.

I have fairly large lips anyway, so you can imagine (using a pain to area ratio)that the pain was pretty big.

Don't ever try that.

I'm thinking ginger may have been a better bet. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

I need some natural lipgloss that plumps and reddens my lips...does anyone have a recipe for such an item?

Passionate kissing always worked for my W. Put color in her cheeks too.

SS

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

My mom said they used to bite theirs. Must have been before they got married, hey?

Lipstick is normally very toxic, and cancer causing they are now saying...

so kiss your husbands ladies, it's much healthier. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

naughty, naughty! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

[hiya ss, good to see ya, good buddy <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />]

true
true
true

Justass

That is too funny..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Swollen, painfull lips... run, dont walk to Hollywood NOW!

My favorite hippie quote is by Cartman of South Park. He hates hippies. Hang around SF long enough, most people do. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

Cartman: [color:"blue"]Hippies... everywhere... they want to save the world but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad. ...[/color] <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

The popular tshirt around here after Jerry Garcia died was: [color:"blue"] "Jerry's DEAD - Get a JOB!" [/color] <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Dealan-de strolls in. Scoffs at the hippies (after living in Austin for 5 years, it's innate now).

Slides into a booth.

Orders a Shiner.

Thinks about Shiner...and the pretty copper kettles sparkling in the sunlight....

Hmmm.

Shiner.

Lovely place.

They didnt have Shiner here when I moved to CA. I remember when they first 'imported' it... it was so nice.

Do you know they do not have Chili-con-queso in California?!? All this Mexican food, no CCQ. They say it's not really Mexican <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> I miss good Tex-Mex. There's a Papasito's right by Intergalatic Airport in Houston... I hit it In and Out on every trip! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Papasitos isn't even real TexMex imo.

But I had a Mexican mil....so I'm jaded.

Do you know that when I lived on the coast I couldn't get red corn tortillas anywhere? I had to drive to San Antonio and buy out HEB. Stocked my freezer up with them each trip.

What's enchiladas without red corn torts?

but the margaritas at papacitas make up for any lack in the food <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

To be sure, MoFo <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> But I do love their food!

De - I was trying to figure out if I had ever been to 'Mexican MIL', then I realized you meant Mother IL. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> I can make my own MOLE! Takes two days, but it's awesome, if I do say so, myself <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

And the warm tortilla chips and salsa.

I don't care a whit about their enchiladas....just gimme a rita and keep the chips'n salsa flowin'.

That's the only thing my mil didn't teach me how to make. She passed away before I could learn it from her.

She made chicken mole for my wedding feast. She also made my wedding cake. I had the prettiest cake ever.

(sniff)

Yesterday was her birthday.

I miss her terribly.

awwwwwwwwwww

that's sweet

** Brownhair raises glass **
To all wonderful, caring women, on this side or on the other, always looking after us.
(((Dealan-de)))

Thank you BH. You just made me misty.

I'm a bit misty myself, honey.
My son would be 16 tomorrow.
He died when he was just 6 weeks old of meningitis - I don't think of it a lot anymore, but the birthday always gets to me too.
And I have always felt he's watching over me...
(((hugs)))

((((((((((BROWNHAIR))))))))))))))

My oldest is 16.

I can't imagine.

Strike that.

I refuse to imagine....

((((BH))))

Just because.

Thx Dealan-de.
I'm glad you were sitting in the Roadhouse today <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />.
I needed a hug !

I'm fixin' ta go home an hug my Wookie.

Have you hugged a Wookie today?

I highly recommend Wookie hugging for sport and leisure.

Makes the old bloodpressure go down.

Ask Pep.

She's in the med. field...I'm sure there's been a study or something.

Have a lovely weekend.

Thx again..
I have a Wookie right here..
Big furry Bernese mountain dog <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Very, very huggable.
You have a nice weekend too!
I'm going to bed - 11.30 PM in my time zone !

Peace!

Now pay up and get the ****** out! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

We left the money on the counter, you silly bartender, as you were lying behind the bar passed out *again* !
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
(Guess he didn't know what hit him when he started on the BELGIAN beer hehehe)

Uh-Oh.....

I TOLD ba109 that just because it was a clear as water, didn't mean that he could drink it like it was...

(Shhhh...Don't tell anyone, but I sent him some "Head of the Holler" fire-water the other day)....Was proved 190 times....hehe....


hcii

**snort** :grin

heya, hcii! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Well, look what rolled in on tumblin' tumbleweed.
Hiya hc! How the h#ll are ya? Good to hear from you.

I was wonderin' why my hair was standing up straight. For the love o' God, nobody light a match! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> That there's some damn good fire water. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mel, I think we might need to keep the Roadhouse open 24/7. Never know when a weary traveler might come a knockin'. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

After running off a couple of barrels of the fire-water, I can travel a whole lot more! Serves as a very good gasoline substitute...

...But...then again....after a couple shots of it, ya don't really care what gasoline really costs. Or anything else for all that matters. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Wait a minute! What's a yankee ba109 doin' in Texas? Heaven help us..what's this world comin' to?

hcii

Wait a minute! What's a yankee ba109 doin' in Texas?

I brought Mel some cheeeeese! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Ze famous NY cheese cake?

I believe dat be some Wis-CAHN-sin cheese! yankees! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Your pronunciation is impeccable! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I just figured it out....

Ba, you drank that at home, didn't ya? That's how you ended up getting in the car and winding up in Texas!

Everybody knows that ya gotta be drunk to want to go to Texas! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

Locked and loaded...taking cover..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

hcii

>Locked and loaded...taking cover.....

Mine's bigger....and has a scope and a laser sight.

Never mind hcii (hi, I don't think we have met),
these guys think they can drink..
you give them a few Belgian beers and wham !
Out cold.

Hi Dealan-de !

Don't bother about the guns guys/girls, I've got you in my satellite laser sight <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

>Hi Dealan-de !

Hola BH!

Is ba109 still around?
Geez.. it takes ages to get a drink around here !

What'll you have, Dealan-de?
I'll have a Tequila Sunrise <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Texas Red Draw, of course.

Breakfast of champions.

From the desk of DRUCILLA:

Drucilla send her regrets for her asbence. Her proper Southern grandmother would never forgive her for visiting a Road House on a Monday morning.

Joke: Why do you always take TWO Baptist fishing with you? Because if you only take one he'll drink all of your beer.

See ya Friday - Dru

Mimicking the Reverend Jim Ignatowski: "What the H#LL am I doing in Texas!?" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

I don't get it Druci...

maybe that's because I haven't had any beer, eh?

Baptist do not drink alcohol... especially when they have an audience <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />.

One Catholic and one Baptist fishing: drink-on!

One Catholic and two Baptist - the two will sit politely and watch the Catholic. They will not drink in front of each other <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

*and I'm still not here*

Course this is MEL's Roadhouse, so nothing but Pepsi and sweet tea here, right? How could grandmother object? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Oh, duh! LOL

You are a brave girl Dru.

That's all I have to say about that little joke. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

It's funny as he!! and quite true from my experiences.

My bil won't drink in front of his parents. He's in his mid 30s. My sister hides the beer when the visit...and they live 'round the corner.

(btw: everything is "'round the corner" or "up the road" in Texas....even Dallas is just up the road from me)

Kimmy,

My brother in SAT says that if you want company, you open the garage door...if not, leave it closed.

And that everyone wants to talk about the grass in SAT.

"What you got in there?"

you would then reply as to the seed you used

"Oh yes, I tried that last year, didn't grow worth beans for me. This fall I'm going to try this other kind..."

And so on and so forth.

All about the grass seed.

I thought that was very funny, that people have conversations entirely about grass seed.

Yeah. Have HAD those convos.

You start out with ryegrass, btw....then you graduate to something more permanent....Ryegrass is just "starter lawn".

(hehe)

Hi Mel.

I always thought if I ever did a road house, I'd do cement floors, cement walls, and cement benches and tables. Then at closing time, you could just bring in a fire hose, and wash up. Wouldn't even need a bouncer.

Hi Dru -
Oh no, wait.......... she's not even here.

Hi Kimmy.

SS

Hi Weaver.

You sound well.

SS

Howdy Folks,

When Dru gets here tell her that I laughed and laughed at her joke...and that I got it right away...

ALL BAPTISTS DO NOT READ THE NEXT SENTENCE...

I drink alcoholic beverages from time to time. Shhhhh...

Mrs. W<~~~A Good Upstanding Southern Baptist <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

That's because you are all from the south...of course you get each others jokes!

SS, I am fine...have my moments, but for the most part life is wonderful. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

....have my moments

Like to see one of those - it could be interesting.

Teasing aside, glad it's mostly good.

SS

Hey Weaver...

I was just telling someone how that I had to be educated about exactly what a "Spring Jacket" was when I first moved here...and "Winter Break"...Um, huh? I also brag that in the 10 years that I have been FORCED to live here as a POW of "The War of Northern Aggression" that I have NEVER owned a pair of snow boots-I've never fallen either...We are moving back as soon as we sell our house, so I just may make it too! I have, however, gotten stuck in my own driveway more than a few times...grrr! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W<~~~You can take the girl outta the South...yada, yada, yada...

Guess I dont see any hooch in here, I'll visit for a bit...


Still true,dat! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I spent seven hours a week at church till I was 16! S. Baptist <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> Five on Sunday, and two more on Wednesdays, just so it sticks! Sometimes I could get out of it if I slept over with one of my Catholic friends and went to church with their family. They always looked like they were having so much more fun. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Belly-up, ladies, gents. It's Friday <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

[color:"blue"] Texans in Heaven

Gabriel came to the Lord and said " I have to talk to you. We have some Texans up here in Heaven who are causing problems!

They're swinging on the pearly gates, my horn is missing, barbecue sauce is all over their robes, their dogs are riding in the chariots, and their wearing baseball caps and cowboy hats instead of their halos. They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clean. There are watermelon seeds and pig feet bones all over the place. Some of them are walking around with just one wing."

The Lord said, "I made them special, Gabriel. Heaven is Home to all my children. If you really want to know about real problems, let's call the Devil."

The Devil answered the phone, " Hello? Damn, hold on a minute."

The Devil returned to the phone, "O.K., I'm back. What can I do for you?"

The Lord replied, "I just want to know what kind of problems you're having down there."

The Devil said, "Hold on again. I need to check on something."

After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to the phone and said, "I'm back. Now what was the question?"

The Lord said, "What kind of problems are you having down there?"

The Devil said, "Man, I don't believe this....Hold on, Lord."

This time the Devil was gone 15 minutes. The Devil returned and said , "I'm sorry Lord, I can't talk right now. Them damn Texans done put out the fire and are trying to install air conditioning." [/color] <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

[color:"blue"]Survivor Texas Style


Due to the popularity of the Survivor shows, Texas is planning to do its own, entitled Survivor - Texas Style. The contestants will start in Dallas, travel to Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston and down to Brownsville. They will then proceed up to Del Rio, on to El Paso, then to Midland, Odessa, Lubbock and Amarillo. From there, they'll proceed to Abilene, Ft. Worth and finally back to Dallas.

Each will be driving a pink Volvo with a bumper sticker that reads, "I'm gay, I'm a vegetarian, I voted for Al Gore, George Strait Sucks, Hillary in 2008, and I'm here to confiscate your beer and guns!"

The first one to make it back to Dallas alive wins.[/color] <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Funny!

I hope Mel gets the "voted for Al Gore" and "Hillary 2008"...oh my, way too funny!

I'm making Garbage Can cookies tonight Dru, that is my big Friday night.

I have been soaking the cherry flavored, dried cranberries in a dry red wine for a few days though!...that is my Friday night twist on the cookies.

The Texans probably don't understand that, but no matter...making them that way anyway.

Mrs. W - I hope your feet get stuck in a big snow bank this year, and your shoe falls off inside the snowbank!

That'll teach you to be Southern way up here! LOL

The top 40 things you would NEVER hear a Texan say...ever....no matter how much they've had to drink, no matter how far from the South they've wandered.

40. "I'm really into Zin's right now"

39. "I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex"

38. Duct tape won't fix that.

37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.

36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.

35. We don't keep firearms in this house.

34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?

33. You can't feed that to the dog.

32. I thought Graceland was tacky.

31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.

30. Wrasslin's fake.

29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?

28. We're vegetarians.

27. Do you think my gut is too big?

26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.

25. Honey, we don't need another dog.

24. Who's Richard Petty?

23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.

21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.

20. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.

19. Trim the fat off that steak.

18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

17. The tires on that truck are too big.

16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.

15. I've got it all on the C drive.

14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.

13. Would you like your fish poached or broiled?

12. My fiancee, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.

11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.

9. Checkmate.

8. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.

7. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?

6. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.

5. I don't have a favorite college team.

4. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.

3. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.

2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.

1. "Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight."

I don't get number 9. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Anyways, it's nice to be around here while there are some people still standing ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

#9 was my favorite <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Tossing horseshoes, darts: yep!
Chess: not so much <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

[color:"blue"]Tall Tales
Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on a lonesome Texas prarie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall tales begins.

The first one says, "I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground by the horns with my bare hands."

The second cowboy can't stand to be bested. "Why that's nothing. I was walking down the trail yesterday and a fifteen-foot rattlesnake slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my bare hands, bit its head off and sucked the poison down in one gulp. And I'm still here today."

The third cowboy remained silent, quietly stirring the coals with his penis. [/color]

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Is it Friday in Texas?

you silly foreigner! Texans don't play CHESS!! CHESS IS FOR YANKEES and silly liberals!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Why play chess when you can go target shooting?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Drucilla, those are a hoot! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

ss, it is always Friday in Texas!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

GOD BLESS TEXAS!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Three guys are sitting in a bar and start talking and bragging.
"I'm from Dallas, I have three mistresses, and I have made a fortune from oil," the American guy says.
"I am a French couturier. All models want to be with me," the French guy says.
"I.. er.. live in Brussels and my penis is 12 inches long," the shy Flemish guy says.

They drink so more, get to the "weepy" fase and while fraternising start telling the truth.

"I'm not rich. I'm just a clerck in a small firm. I'm not even married," the American sobs.
"I'm not famous. I work in a shop of second hand clothes," the French guy sobs.
"I.. I lied too. I live in Bruges," the Flemish guys sniffs.

Target practice on a chess board is damn hard !
Especially if you call out beforehand which piece and color you're going to shoot !
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Well that list of things "they'll" never say really makes me want to go to Texas. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Brown, put your beer down and get your mind out of the gutter.

Get my mind out of the gutter?
I beg your pardon? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

And actually I'm sipping some South African red wine.
One of the perks on being on a Montignac diet.

Weaver, she's been there so long, she doesn't even realize it.
Probably not much you can do for her.

(Brown, do you take teasing well? I probably should have asked FIRST.)

Hi Mel.
I'd like Texas better if it was always SATURDAY.
But then, I like Sunday too.
Gee - Now I don't know.

Just so long as it's not always MONDAY.

SS

Well if she doesn't SS, we'll ship her off to Texas...she'll fit right in there.

They don't take teasing well either, unless it's their hair! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Brown, put the bottle down.

You girls are just jealous because I've got those Flemish guys here, hehehe.

(Or is SS a boy??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />)

Oh boy, oh boy Brown.

Brown, Brown, Brown...

Too funny! I'll let SS tell you. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Let me check..........

Yep, still a boy.

SS

Good for ya SS ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Too bad you're missing out on the Flemish girls then.

No contest. Beautiful tall, leggy Blondes are a dime/dozen in Texas. [color:"red"][b]Texas Bikini[/b][/color] <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Thanks, but I'll stick with my W.
Mmmmmm, SS gets a dreamy look on his face.

Love Friday...... Hot date tonight.

SS

** Brownhair sweeps up some broken bottles, wakes up a few sleeping/unconscious people and calls them a taxi. When they have all left, closes Roadhouse and drops key in letter box. **

Geez, I really should get paid for this job !