Well we had a couple more arguments but I think we actually accomplished something. I found out he felt lonely and unloved was the reason he had an affair. I am in complete shock that he even felt that way. I know I am rough around the edges but I never intended him to feel like that. I got a lot of work to do on my self or so it seems. I am going to get that log out of my eye before we address his speck.
The weird thing is that me having bipolar disorder I feel things much more deeply than most people. I learned that in group therapy at the hospital. So I actually do love him and probably more than he would even imagine or more than a normal person. I don't know how he felt unloved but I am going to do everything humanly possible to make this up to him.
I asked Jesus to make me a better wife and mother because I seem to always fail. So again I am asking him for help, he is probably sick of me bugging him all the time wanting His help lol.
Anyway think we are in recovery now and I still have my copy of His needs her needs from before. I am going to read it again.
Thanks for listening
Hugs
Hopes
Hopes, blaming yourself for his affair is not a solution, it is a distraction. Your husband is a serial cheater and he does not cheat because of something you did or didn't do, but because he is out looking for it. It does not happen by accident in other words.
Until he makes a dramatic and radical change in his lifestyle, this will not change. And blaming you for his adultery indicates he has no intention of changing.
God has inspired the creation of the Marriage Builders program and I believe he led you here for that reason. Marriage Builders holds the solution for your marriage problems, but for some reason, you seem intent on IGNORING the program entirely.
You have no plan for the recovery of your marriage and having no plan is a plan to fail.
Anyway think we are in recovery now and I still have my copy of His needs her needs from before. I am going to read it again.
You are not in recovery. His Needs, Her Needs, is not the right book. You need Survivng an Affair. Here is what it will take to recover your marriage:
The plan I recommend for recovery after an affair is very specific. That's because I've found that even small deviations from that plan are usually disastrous. But when it's followed, it always works. The plan has two parts that must be implemented sequentially. The first part of the plan is for the unfaithful spouse to completely separate from the lover and eliminate the conditions that made the affair possible. The second part is for the couple to create a romantic relationship, using my Basic Concepts as a guide.
I'll describe these two parts to you in a little more detail.
The first step, complete separation from the lover and eliminating the conditions that made the affair possible, requires a complete understanding of the affair. All information regarding the affair must be revealed to the betrayed spouse, including the name of the lover, the conditions that made the affair possible (travel, internet, etc.), the details of what took place during the affair, all correspondence, and anything else that would shed light on the tragedy.
This information is important for two reasons: (1) it creates accountability and transparency, making it essentially impossible for the unfaithful spouse to continue the affair or begin a new one unnoticed, and (2) it creates trust for the betrayed spouse, providing evidence that the affair is over and a new one is unlikely to take its place. The nightmares you experience are likely to continue until you have the facts that
will lead to your assurance that your husband can be trusted.
An analysis of the wayward spouse's childhood or emotional state of mind in an effort to discover why he or she would have an affair is distracting and unnecessary. It takes precious time away from finding the real solutions. I know why people have affairs: We are all wired for it. Given certain conditions, we would all do it. Given other conditions, however, none of us would do it. So the goal of the first step is to discover the conditions that made the affair possible and eliminate them.
After the first step is completed, the second step is to create a romantic relationship between you and your husband using my 10 Basic Concepts
here as your guide. While your relationship may be improving, it won't lead to a romantic relationship because you are not being transparent toward each other. Unspoken issues in a marital relationship lead to a superficiality that ruins romance.
Your nightmares are only the tip of the iceberg. They are but a small reflection of the suffering you experienced when you discovered your husband's affair, and the fear you have that the suffering will be repeated. You have no assurance that the affair is over because you don't even know who the other woman is. You are being asked to trust your husband, who has already proven to be untrustworthy. For all you know, he could be working with her, or you could be going to the same church, or she could be
your neighbor. And since he won't discuss the details of how the affair took place, you have no assurance that another affair will not take its place.
Infidelity is not something that can be swept under the rug. While those who have affairs want to forget about it and move on, those who are betrayed must take very specific steps before they can fully recover. In your case, those steps have not been taken, and as a result, your fear persists. I will send you a complimentary copy of my book, "Surviving an Affair," if you send me your address. It will describe these two steps to you and provide you with a roadmap toward full recovery. But the path will require full disclosure of all details.
I asked Jesus to make me a better wife and mother because I seem to always fail. So again I am asking him for help, he is probably sick of me bugging him all the time wanting His help lol.
Jesus is probably sick of sending you the help you need and being IGNORED. How can he help you if you IGNORE HIM?
Hopes, you are not in recovery. Sorry. Not even close.
You might be in 'sweep it under the rug recovery' but not real MB recovery.
You are a long way away...only when you incorporate Dr Harley's teachings the right way will you find yourself moving in the right directon.
Sorry to tell you but you are setting yourself up for failure.
Ask yourself this question:
Has what you have been doing so far worked? Why?
OK, if you are in recovery, can you post the list of EP's your WH agreed to following?
Hopes, my friend, you are not in recovery, you are in denial.
And you are ignoring all of your friends here who care about you and want to help you.
Please keep your hospital bags packed.
Why do you post to us and then ignore what we have to say? Why do you expect things to get better when you reject wise counsel?
I asked Jesus to make me a better wife and mother because I seem to always fail. So again I am asking him for help, he is probably sick of me bugging him all the time wanting His help lol.
Jesus is probably sick of sending you the help you need and being IGNORED. How can he help you if you IGNORE HIM?
Jesus keeps sending you a liferaft, and you keep refusing to get on it, saying "Jesus will save me!" I imagine He is shaking His head.
Why did Jesus lead you here if you are just going to ignore everything we say?
The only thing we can do is sound a loud warning to everyone reading your thread not to do this, because you are going to wind up worse than things were before. I can't believe you would think you have the right to publicly be a bad example for other people like this.
I found out he felt lonely and unloved was the reason he had an affair.
Typical blame-shifting comment for a wayward. YOU didn't love him enough.
I am in complete shock that he even felt that way.
I'm sure you are. Because that's not why he screwed around on you.
I am going to get that log out of my eye before we address his speck.
You're minimizing the damage he has done to you and your marriage. Why are you giving him this free pass? Do you think recovery is too hard? Do you understand that divorce or other affairs will be ever so much harder??
The weird thing is that me having bipolar disorder I feel things much more deeply than most people.
How do you know that? How do you know how deeply I feel? Or anyone else here, or in the world? You DON'T. Neither does your therapist. Or your psychiatrist. They are charlatans if they claim that. So that's not a free pass, either.
Anyway think we are in recovery now and I still have my copy of His needs her needs from before.
You are deluding yourself. I am very alarmed for you.
God Will Help Me
There was a very religious man named Jim, who lived near a river. One
day, the river rose over the banks and flooded the town, and Jim was
forced to climb onto his porch roof. While sitting there, a man in a
boat came along and told Jim to get in the boat with him.
Jim said, "No, that's okay. God will take care of me."
So, the man in the boat drove off.
The water rose higher, so Jim climbed onto his roof. At that time,
another boat came along, and the person in that one told Jim to get
in.
Jim replied, "No, that's okay. God will take care of me."
The person in the boat then left.
The water rose even more, and Jim climbed onto his chimney. A
helicopter came along and lowered a ladder for him. The woman in the
helicopter told Jim to climb up the ladder and get in.
Jim said, "That's okay."
The woman said, "Are you sure?"
Jim replied, "Yeah, I'm sure God will take care of me."
Finally, the water rose too high and Jim drowned. Jim got to heaven
and was face-to-face with God.
Jim said to God, "You told me that you would take care of me! What
happened?"
God replied, "Well, I sent you two boats and a helicopter. What else
did you want?"
The MB version
God Will Help Me
There was a very religious man named Jim, who's wife had an affair. One
day, Jim found out about the affair. His WW admitted to it being an emotional affair and Jim found MB.
Jim started posting on the forum and the vets came to his rescue.
Jim said, "No, that's okay. God will take care of me."
So, the vets went and posted to others in need.
Several years later, Jim found that his WW was in another affair and admitted it was an affair.
Jim returned to the MB forum and the vets came out to his rescue again.
Jim replied, "No, that's okay. God will take care of me." The vets left.
The abuse continued with blame shifting, playing victim by the WW and justifications. Jim posts in recovery, because now he knows why his WW had affairs and they can get past it.
The vets come out again and tell Jim, this is not recovery, this is sweeping things under the rug and present Jim with a plan for recovery.
Jim said, "That's okay."
The vets said, "No it's not"
Jim replied, "Yeah, God will take care of me."
Finally, the abuse rose too high and Jim couldn't handle it any longer. Jim got to heaven at the end of his life and was face-to-face with God.
Jim said to God, "You told me that you would take care of me! What
happened?"
God replied, "Well, I sent you the vets at MB. What else
did you want?"
Please read this and listen to the clips in here.
Serial Cheaters
Also, will you contact Dr. Harley?
Email your questions to Joyce Harley at mbradio@marriagebuilders.com. When your email question is chosen to be answered on the radio show, you will be notified by email directing you to listen to the rebroadcast. If you would like to consider being a caller, include your telephone number. You will be called by us to explain the procedure to you. Every caller will receive a complementary book by Dr. Harley that addresses their question.
Awesome post, pine needle! This poster is in serious denial and I hope she will wake up and start facing reality.
God Will Help Me
There was a very religious man named Jim, who lived near a river. One
day, the river rose over the banks and flooded the town, and Jim was
forced to climb onto his porch roof. While sitting there, a man in a
boat came along and told Jim to get in the boat with him.
Jim said, "No, that's okay. God will take care of me."
So, the man in the boat drove off.
The water rose higher, so Jim climbed onto his roof. At that time,
another boat came along, and the person in that one told Jim to get
in.
Jim replied, "No, that's okay. God will take care of me."
The person in the boat then left.
The water rose even more, and Jim climbed onto his chimney. A
helicopter came along and lowered a ladder for him. The woman in the
helicopter told Jim to climb up the ladder and get in.
Jim said, "That's okay."
The woman said, "Are you sure?"
Jim replied, "Yeah, I'm sure God will take care of me."
Finally, the water rose too high and Jim drowned. Jim got to heaven
and was face-to-face with God.
Jim said to God, "You told me that you would take care of me! What
happened?"
God replied, "Well, I sent you two boats and a helicopter. What else
did you want?"
The MB version
God Will Help Me
There was a very religious man named Jim, who's wife had an affair. One
day, Jim found out about the affair. His WW admitted to it being an emotional affair and Jim found MB.
Jim started posting on the forum and the vets came to his rescue.
Jim said, "No, that's okay. God will take care of me."
So, the vets went and posted to others in need.
Several years later, Jim found that his WW was in another affair and admitted it was an affair.
Jim returned to the MB forum and the vets came out to his rescue again.
Jim replied, "No, that's okay. God will take care of me." The vets left.
The abuse continued with blame shifting, playing victim by the WW and justifications. Jim posts in recovery, because now he knows why his WW had affairs and they can get past it.
The vets come out again and tell Jim, this is not recovery, this is sweeping things under the rug and present Jim with a plan for recovery.
Jim said, "That's okay."
The vets said, "No it's not"
Jim replied, "Yeah, God will take care of me."
Finally, the abuse rose too high and Jim couldn't handle it any longer. Jim got to heaven at the end of his life and was face-to-face with God.
Jim said to God, "You told me that you would take care of me! What
happened?"
God replied, "Well, I sent you the vets at MB. What else
did you want?"
Nice Pine.
Love it.
Yeah your right. I was in denial. I cant do this anymore. I told him its over tonight. We can be friends but that's it. My head is still messed up and I wish I had some of my old friends from here to talk to. But you guys were right, I just cant ignore this or sweep it under the rug and I deserve so much better than this.
You know the messed up thing? He didn't even shed a tear, nothing. 20 years and not one tear? Truthfully I didn't either. Guess it shows the marriage is truly dead. Oh well, time to get myself together. Thanks again.
Hopes, I am sorry for what you are feeling and going through. This man has caused you no end of pain, down to the point of putting you in the hospital multiple times! I am glad, for your sake, that you are getting away from him, and I suggest that you NOT try to be friends with him, because every contact with him is going to set you back. Get away, clear your head, take care of YOU, and see how much better you feel when you are no longer thinking about him and the trauma he has put you through.
Trying to be friends with him is like a rape victim trying to continue to be friends with the rapist. The trauma he has put you through is worse than the trauma rape victims endure. And in both cases the best plan of recovery includes separating from the source of the trauma and building a new life.
Yeah your right. I was in denial. I cant do this anymore. I told him its over tonight. We can be friends but that's it. My head is still messed up and I wish I had some of my old friends from here to talk to. But you guys were right, I just cant ignore this or sweep it under the rug and I deserve so much better than this.
Hopes, did your old friends help you recover your marriage before? I don't think they did. What friends are you looking for, exactly? They're no longer on this site?
No one really. They were just nice to me during his deployment and stuff like that. I don't really have anyone here to talk to but it don't really matter.
He still has not moved out. He says it might take him a while. I really hope this works out for him cause I am still pretty angry sometimes over this. I am sleeping on the loveseat. Might be better if he gets out sooner than later. I think he thinks I am going to change my mind but I am not.
Anyway this will even sound crazier but I decided to give my life to the Lord and go it alone for now on. I am not going to turn catholic but just stay here alone. I have had two bad marriages fail and I can do bad all by myself. Tired of dealing with men's [censored].
Hopes, he has no reason to leave. I would strongly urge you to file for divorce and get him removed legally. He will drive you crazy if he is allowed to stay there.
Yeah he got told to leave. I don't think God is too happy with him being here. Its over and he knows it, I don't think he will stay long now. He looks very mad, oh well he started all this so he can deal with the consequences.
I will say this, I feel sorry for the next woman who falls for him. He says since we are not going to be together he wont do counseling. Oh well, he has his walking papers now. I am staying right where I am. I like it here so I am staying right where I am.
Good for you, hopes! If he doesn't leave right away, you might want to pack his bags for him and change the locks.
I moved him out of the bedroom today. I got tired of sleeping on the loveseat. Did have one incident. Tried moving the mattress by myself and it pinned me for a while. Had a hard time getting the mattress off me but I got free. Also he is lying more than ever. I texted him over 27 texts trying to get him to help move his stuff out of the bedroom and he claims he got none of them. Don't think that's possible.
I always get this little triangle thing if the text don't send. Its a crappy droid so they are probably all the same. He claims he was at the library, school, or looking for a place to move to all day but I know better in my heart. Oh and the hidden supposedly closed email is now reopened. I emailed it and it did not bounce back. Tried it twice and they sent so somehow its magically open but he didn't do it of course. Of course he don't know the password or how to recover it either.
He got real mad today and would not even look at the texts I sent saying I was playing some sort of game? I wonder is he loosing his mind now for a change? Oh well, things they are a changing. Wont be long now I guess.
Have you packed his clothes and changed the locks yet? He will get that message!
Hopes, you can't expect him to answer you, to respond to your requests, or to tell the truth to you. All you can expect from him is a big fat zero.
So, like MelodyLane says, do it for him: pack his clothes and change the locks and send him off!
I repeat: pack his bags, change the locks and send him on his way.
He is seriously gaslighting you. Hopes!
I want to but waiting for him to get paid so I am not just tossing him out broke into the streets. Yeah I know, I am probably too nice sometimes. Jesus changed a whole lot about me so I am kind of different than the old Hopes. I will just a bit longer for him to have the funds to leave.
I already told him its over and nothing is going to happen between us, now or ever, that part is over. I am just staying friendly because of the kids too. My 15 yr old decided he wants to stay with me so guess we will have to have some contact so its probably best I don't just get too ugly.
I did do one bad thing. After the mattress pinned me I got a wave of rage and threw his crap into the yard. Later I sent the kids to go get it because I felt bad. I also had a little rage early on and threw a glass mug through the living room window. I gotta fix that, its plastic and pink duct tape now lol.
Jesus is still working on me, I still have some issues but I am trying hard to change and I think for the most part its working.
Thanks again
Hopes
Please read these. You don't have to have any contact with your WH because of your 15yo.
Intermediary Training School Parallel Parenting in Plan B
That might be a good option. Its probably best he moves on with his life as well. I am just trying to be a better person. If you knew how much different (awful) I was before then you would understand why I am trying so hard to be better.
One of the reasons I didn't want to let everyone know what my old nickname was is it reads like a depressed/hypomanic person and who knows what your going to get on any given day. I guess since the marriage is over it cant hurt now.
Hugs all
Hopesalive
Hopes, an IM is really the only option for you. Plan B is absolutely no contact. If info needs to be exchanged about your DS, your IM can do that for you.
I think so too. Hey got a question. I don't even want to think this is true but it was really weird. Yesterday I asked step son for a drink of water. I drink few sips, wham I am nearly passed out. I kept some of it just incase. Maybe its not the water and something is going wrong with me? Either way I am going to have to see a doctor soon as I can.
Also even weirder my pharmacist died on a fishing trip yesterday so guess I have to find a new one. It just gets weirder and weirder. Anyway I keep telling him to go, but he says I have to wait till he has money. Will ask him again today.
Also even weirder my pharmacist died on a fishing trip yesterday so guess I have to find a new one. It just gets weirder and weirder. Anyway I keep telling him to go, but he says I have to wait till he has money. Will ask him again today.
Did you try packing his bags and changing the locks? I don't think he believes you are very serious.
No I haven't I am waiting till his payday and then he has to go. No excuses. I am getting tired of living this way. Now they are trying to say I am having a manic episode. I don't think I am but if I get sent to the hospital again I wont have anyone to check me back out. So I don't know how they could release me.
Its the sleep thing, my 2nd oldest is all concerned that I will die if I don't sleep. I do sleep but only for few min to an hr at a time. I tried to get them to give me sleeping pills but they wouldn't. Z quil sorta works, I might squeeze 4 hours worth of sleep at one time.
I have a drs. appointment in less than a week to see my new psychiatrist. Going to ask him for some advice on this sleep issue and see if he needs to switch or tweak my meds.
If I am having a manic episode its sure not like the last one. I feel clear in my head but have just a vivid imagination kind of like writers have when writing their books.
I am still dealing with him being here but don't worry I have got on my big girl pants and I can take care of myself. Anyway thanks again.
Hugs
Hopes
He wont go still. I asked him again today. Nope wont go till he has more money but he said I could go. I could go? Yeah I think his little strategy backfired. If I did have an residual feelings left for him he just killed that. If he was the last man on earth, we are going extinct.
I guess hes going to be a [censored] till the end. I did sleep some so I think I am doing better now. Its just all this stress, its hard to deal with all this. You people were right I was too nice. I am starting to see him for what he really is.
So when are you having the locksmith come over to change the locks? And pack his bags?
That will get the point to him.
No I haven't I am waiting till his payday and then he has to go. No excuses. I am getting tired of living this way. Now they are trying to say I am having a manic episode. I don't think I am but if I get sent to the hospital again I wont have anyone to check me back out. So I don't know how they could release me.
Hopes, how are you doing? I think you might have a real good point about not having anyone to check you out of the mental hospital. How about asking your husband to go to the psychiatrist with you so he can get involved with your treatment? You are going need someone to help you.
How about shelving the plan to kick him out for now and working together to get you some medical treatment? You really need your husband's help right now.
No I haven't I am waiting till his payday and then he has to go. No excuses. I am getting tired of living this way. Now they are trying to say I am having a manic episode. I don't think I am but if I get sent to the hospital again I wont have anyone to check me back out. So I don't know how they could release me.
Hopes, how are you doing? I think you might have a real good point about not having anyone to check you out of the mental hospital. How about asking your husband to go to the psychiatrist with you so he can get involved with your treatment? You are going need someone to help you.
How about shelving the plan to kick him out for now and working together to get you some medical treatment? You really need your husband's help right now.
I agree.
Will he go with you?
Well I am having a pretty hard time. I finally lost it and tossed everything else out of my bedroom when he told me he could come into there anytime he wants. I said Uh No you cant because I might be dressing or showering and he is not to see me naked ever again So I tossed what was left in there, I also gave him every gift he ever gave me back (wasn't much) and even gave him back the sand and ocean water that I got at the beach.
So now some freak sent some porno to my email claiming I was the woman pictured and ruined their relationship. He has latched onto this and is trying to accuse me. Its not me, heck I am about phobic about people seeing me naked there is no way in hell I would do a video with some dude. Then all sorts of crap starts happening to my computer. Printer is gone, cant find the disk to fix it. I have to have this fixed or don't see how I am going to go to school next semester.
I cant change the locks. I have probably 2 dollars to my name. No access to bank account. Have not had access to that in years. I did try a little annoying behavior to get him to leave and scream at him for hours telling him all the things I have been saving up for the last 20 years.
Now he is accusing me about some text messages? I don't know what the blank he's even talking about. What on earth would any of this matter I just want his [censored] gone. I am really starting to get depressed again. Its too stressful. He is threatening withholding FS but it would be worth it if he would just go.
I seriously cant even believe how crappy my life is. My step son today threw a 5 gallon bucket of water into my face because I was teasing him with the hose (sprayed lil water on him). It just sucks. At least I found a new CD to listen to. Cant print out the lyrics but at least I can listen.
I don't want him to go with me to any dr. I just want him gone. Matter of fact I wont let him go with me. I don't trust him as far as I can throw him.
Did you have similar symptoms of a mood disorder before you were married? Before his first affair? What are the symptoms and things you do in a manic phase?
How has he treated you throughout your marriage in addition to his affairs?
I suspect that you are not inherently mentally ill, though you are allowing your emotions to get the best of you. What I mean is that it seems you need to part from him, but you are going to have to think of what is the most effective way to get it done, not simply react. Keep that anger under control for your benefit. Control the urge to throw things as best you can. The more you let it out, the more you can be called ill.
Are you still in a household full of grown children? With a grandchild, too?
How many are your children, his children, and both of your's children?
What is your lifestyle like?
Oh, and don't tease your stepson. Carefully consider how someone might feel about what you do to them - that could help in keeping things cool enough for you to get out with a little bit to your name.
When do you see your doctor again? You're seeing a psychiatrist, correct?
Hopes, are you following your medical regimen?
I wanted to wait till I was calmed down a bit before writing anything else. No, before his first affair they said I had major depression. Yes I have a psychiatrist and meds. Its just been hard because he picked the one thing that would crawl under my skin, for whatever reason, to hurt me or get even for me leaving.
I told him that video was impossible, gave him all the reasons why (I have not been alone in this house in 15 years from homeschooling my YS). I don't even go to the store alone because I am socially awkward. I told him if I was slandered, even slightly, I would be seeking justice. And that goes for his lil girlfriend too. Truthfully he had it pretty good, I wasn't perfect but I was not a bad wife and I stayed faithful the entire marriage. He back peddled and said that he didn't say it was me.. He just implied it was me.
I also told him that if I ever wanted to leave, I would not find some dude to have an affair with, that I would tell him and be upfront and honest about it. I kept my word and no amount of apologizing or back peddling or deceptive spin will matter. My mind is made up this marriage is over and that's that.
He had moved out into a motel or something for the last few days. I guess the annoying behavior worked. Before that he got mad and told me he would take an extra day off work just to be here and bug me. I was pretty angry because I don't really want him here.
So, Lord forgive me, I reminded him that I have bipolar disorder and I can do 4 days without sleep and not even blink. I had planned some recreational activities involving music and dance for the next 4 days (and nights).. He decided to go to work instead, then decided to move to some motel I guess. Go figure.
I have been sleeping better though. When I got angry and told him off, that night, I slept like a baby. I woke up and it was daylight outside. I have been actually napping too.
He has said he has a place reserved for the beginning of the month. So not long now. I have a Drs appointment this week. I am feeling ok but want to be sure they don't want to adjust my meds or whatever. So things are looking up. Looks like one more week and I am free. I am giddy thinking about it really.
Hopes
I was kidding with him but I don't tease him. Actually I raised him as my own since he was about 2. I think of him as my own kid. I think this break up is having an effect on him because he has been kind of moody as well.
As far as me being mentally ill. I don't know. His last affair was pretty horrible. Oh and get this, he says that wasn't an affair, that he was actually leaving me. No matter, I tried darn near everything to try to fix the marriage and he just refused to listen or try. I felt like he blamed me for all of it and wanted to change my personality. A few years later, I guess the stress of it all got to be too much and I stopped sleeping then went manic or whatever that was.
My lifestyle is pretty sheltered. I don't really go out a lot. I just stay at home mostly. I used to do a lil mini farming but I am sending him to sell off all the livestock now. I don't think I can properly care for them after the break up. Gonna miss my buddy sheep though. He's a real nice sheep. I bottle fed him so he is really nice for a ram sheep. He loves to be petted.
I will be cutting back on expenses all over the place. But I think its doable and I put my trust in the Lord that I will be fine. My oldest son went to stay with friends but we don't always get along well. My second oldest has a job now so he is going to be moving out soon. My grand baby stays with his mom and her family. I don't really get to see him. I think the other two, my step son and 15 yr old are going with their dad, at least for now. Its probably for the best because I am still getting myself together. He can always come see me on the weekends.
I don't know if I am actually mentally ill but I just assume they know what they are talking about. Life was pretty stressful during that manic episode. I had a house full of teenagers and they were hard to deal with. Plus my husband, the way he acted, did not help matters.
Hopes
Hopes, I am really am worried for you. When is your next doctors appointment?
Hopes, I am really am worried for you. When is your next doctors appointment?
Hopes, I know you said your doctor appointment was this week. What day?
Are you following your med regimen?
Its tomorrow. But I am fine. I didn't wind up staying up for 4 days straight LOL. I just wanted him to think I would. I however have done that before, longer than that, when I had that manic episode.
I also wanted to mention the throwing of the mug through the window. Yeah that was that initial reaction when he first told me. You know that moment when they first tell you they had an affair and it feels like they ripped your soul in half? Yeah that and he told me she was his idea version of beauty? What am I canned dog food? Yeah so the mug went through the window that day. I shouldn't have done it and I feel bad, but that's also before I decided to let God run my life.
Nothings being tossed since then. Actually he hasn't been back and I could just care less about what he does now. I am much more interested in getting my life together than whatever he does. He is my past I am looking forward to my future. If its the Lords will I am going to take on a full load of college classes this semester and throw myself into that. I will have a lot more time now so I need something to do. I want to see if I can keep a 4.0 all the way through (its worth a shot;) So far 6 classes and all are As. 2 were lower level though. Its a start. I have a long way to go and hopefully the math don't trip me up.
Anyway don't worry. Seriously I am fine and I see the Dr. tomorrow. Even my 2nd oldest has gotten off my back so I must be doing good lol.
Hopes
Hopes,
Where is your husband?