Originally Posted by Gerkaguards
I said she was up pretty late, (2am her time) and she said, "it's saturday night, I was out with my friends. I'm not #1 in my class here so I'm popular now." ... "I'm not giving you any personal details because when I do you use them against me."


I know you are losing love and patience with plan A. I would only continue to plan A until you get back. I would try to go visit her once if she will allow and just try to make that visit as positive as possible. Then I would immediately go to plan B. Do I think it will work, no, but I think after two months of plan B, you'll be detached enough from her that you will be ready to move on yourself, which is probably the best idea. I don't think she wants to talk to you much or open up because she is still being wayward and doesn't want to hurt you further OR risk the consequences of you exposing again. Based on how she sounds depressed, her previous relationship patterns, and history of infidelity and entitlement, I would bet money that she's going out on the weekends, getting hammered, and then seeking the company of other men to try and make her feel better about herself. She needs constant validation from men, and I bet she has at least a boyfriend or maybe "friend with benefits" and will be more careful not to get caught this time. She thinks now that you don't have her phone records, she can get away with it scott free. That is why she doesn't want to talk to you, fear of getting caught and guilt. That is why she doesn't want you to visit. I bet if you got the records to her new phone, she'd have a phone and text log a mile long to one or more OM.

Either way, your love bank is getting empty and it is not a good idea to half-@ss attempt plan A with an empty love bank. You do a full out plan B, and then go completely dark. Anything other than that is a plan to fail.


BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story